The New Adventures of Danny Phantom
by Quill N. Inque
Summary: After saving the world, Danny has to adjust to a life where his secret is known by all. In addition to his romance with Sam, Danny must fight not only ghosts, but crazed fans as well! Commentary by Statler and Waldorf. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom

Chapter 1: Mondays…

"_A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself."__ -__**Joseph Campbell**_

_**A/N: Hey guys, what's up? This is one of those post-Phantom Planet fanfics, but with a twist! Joining me now are Statler and Waldorf, who have agreed to commentate and advise on this story.**_

_**Statler: Remind me again why we're doing this?**_

_**Quill (shrugs): You guys signed a six-month contract. I **_**own**_** you.**_

_**Waldorf: Motherf-**_

Like every other teenager in America, Danny Fenton hated Mondays. To him, Monday always heralded the demise of the weekend, and the beginning of yet another mind-numbing, soul-searing school week. This particular Monday, however, was by far the worst. Today, Danny had to face a world where everyone knew his secret, where every man, woman, and child on the planet knew that Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom were one and the same. After he'd stopped the "Disasteroid" from destroying the Earth(with the help of Skulker and a few thousand other ghosts), Danny had outed himself in front of everyone on international television. Though it had seemed like a good idea at the time, Danny now found himself questioning his judgment.

The alarm beside his bed went off with a shrill beep, and he had to restrain himself from blasting the damn thing. Grumbling to himself, Danny forced his groggy body out of bed and into the shower.

As the hot water pounded his back, Danny's thoughts turned, once again, to the school day ahead, which he'd been dreading for days. The young Halfling lathered shampoo into his raven hair as his mind wandered.

_I don't think I'll have to worry about Lancer,_ Danny thought. _He seemed understanding enough. Dash, however, could be a problem. And then there's… _He shuddered visibly. _Paulina. _

The Fenton boy shook his head. _God, what did I _ever_ see in her? Not to mention that Paulina's obsession with my ghostly alter-ego is downright disturbing…_

Danny switched the water off and reached for a towel. _Why am I so nervous? I've faced Skulker, Ember, Plasmius, even Pariah Dark. Compared to that, this is nothing! It'll all die down soon._

The ghost boy grinned sardonically. _Aw, who am I kidding? I'll never hear the end of this…_

_**Waldorf: This story's perfect!**_

_**Statler: Really?**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, it's perfect for people who can't read!**_

Drying off what was left of the water, Danny threw on his trademark white T-shirt and blue pants before heading downstairs, where a hot breakfast awaited him. The youngest Fenton child could already smell the intoxicating aroma of Maddie Fenton's signature pecan pancakes.

Mrs. Fenton turned around as she heard her son thump down the stairs. "Good morning, sweetie! Sleep well?"

Danny snorted, a wry smile on his face. "Are you kidding? I've got to go to school when everyone knows my secret. I'll be under siege by reporters and fans! I'll be lucky to even make it past our street!"

Maddie put a comforting hand on her son's shoulder. "Don't worry, Danny. You can always disappear if things get too uncomfortable. Your friends and Jazz will be there to support you, as will your father and I."

The ghost boy grinned as his mom put a plate of pancakes in front of him. "Have you ever thought about selling the recipe for this? You're sitting on a gold mine."

Mrs. Fenton smiled back as she imitated a mobster's voice. "'I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.'"

Danny choked on his breakfast as he fought to keep from laughing.

A few minutes later, with food in his belly and a backpack in his hand, Danny Fenton cautiously opened the front door to his house. He surreptitiously checked for any hidden reporters before stepping outside.

Danny's foot had barely even touched the pavement when he heard a shrill cry.

"Look, it's the ghost boy!"

He whirled around, and the color drained from his face. A mob of fangirls, with Paulina in the lead, were thundering down the sidewalk like a charging army.

Danny didn't waste any time. Two rings of white light intersected his body, his black hair became bleached, his blue eyes glowed green, and his casual clothing was replaced with the familiar black jumpsuit.

Danny Phantom abruptly phased out of sight as he turned invisible, flying full speed in the other direction.

_**S: What is wrong with him? That Fenton kid doesn't know how good he's got it!**_

_**W: Yeah, I'd give anything to have a mob of beautiful young women chasing me!**_

Still invisible, Danny hovered in the atmosphere over Casper High, using his ghost form's enhanced vision to pinpoint his friends.

Below, Sam Manson and Tucker Foley, his erstwhile companions, gazed around in disappointment at Danny's conspicuous absence. Sam started suddenly as a non-existent finger tapped her on the shoulder.

"Danny? You there?"

"Yeah," her boyfriend's disembodied voice replied. "I had a little trouble on the way here, and had to take a detour."

"Was it a ghost?"

"No, it was-"

Tucker cut him off. "Fangirls?"

The shudder was evident in Danny's tone. "You have no idea."

Sam took a quick look around. "Well, the bell's ringing, so it's probably safe now."

Danny phased back into the visible spectrum, and Sam felt her stomach quiver in delight.

Her friend grinned roguishly. "Happy to see me?"

Sam closed the distance in a single stride, wrapping her arms around him as Tucker snickered. "Yes, " she said as she kissed him tenderly.

Danny felt the kiss all the way down to his knees. His hands unconsciously wrapped themselves around her waist as he gently pulled away, nuzzling her cheek affectionately as he whispered in her ear.

"What did I ever do to deserve a girl like you?"

Sam smiled as they walked hand-in-hand through front entrance. "Your guess is as good as mine."

_**S: Looks like the goth chick is in love with the ghost kid!**_

_**W: Isn't there a law against that kind of thing?**_

The super-cooled air of Casper High felt refreshing as Danny rummaged in his locker, his mind still somewhat disoriented after his affectionate moment with Sam.

"Hi, Danny," a seductive voice said in his ears.

He turned around slowly, trying to keep the chagrin from his face as he saw Paulina standing next to him.

_Please, God…No._

_**Statler: Hellooooooooo, nurse!**_

_**Waldorf: *Whistles* Hey, baby! Over here!**_

Danny's former crush smiled, showing off her flawless white teeth. "Why'd you run away? Do I frighten you?" she asked as her hand caressed his shoulder.

Danny felt like he was going to vomit. "Look, I, uh, gotta get to class," he said, desperate to be away from his obsessive fan.

As he moved away, the Fenton boy found himself surrounded by his peers, many of them still incredulous that wimpy Danny Fenton was the now-famous hero.

His voice rose slightly as he began to feel irritated. "Can you please move?" Danny said to the crowd. "I'm gonna be late!"

One of the crowd, a tall guy in a jersey, spoke up. "Then why don't you turn intangible and run through us?"

"You could fly over us, too," added another.

Danny frowned. _I don't have _time_ for this…_

"Pride and Prejudice! Why aren't you all in class?"

The halfling's head snapped up as Mr. Edward Lancer, teacher extraordinaire, pushed his way to the center of the mob. Lancer frowned as he noticed Daniel at the center of the mess, which was nothing unusual in his experience.

Danny opened his mouth to speak, but his teacher beat him to it.

"I don't care if it's Mr. Fenton, Elvis Presley, or a little green man from Planet X! Students are not allowed to loiter in the halls! Anyone still around in five seconds will be joining me for a Saturday detention!"

The hallway cleared with surprising speed as Lancer turned back to his pupil.

"Now then, Mr. Fenton, I believe we should adjourn to my classroom. Walk with me, please."

Danny fell in step beside him as Lancer continued.

"In light of…recent events, the school board has decided to give you some 'special privileges."

"What?"

His teacher gave him a rare smile. "Obviously, your extracurricular activities tend to hinder your academic performance. So I presented your case to the administration, and they agreed that some accommodations needed to be made."

Danny's eyes widened. Lancer had done all this for _him_?

"First off, if you are indeed needed to fight off a ghost, you need only to say so, and you'll be excused from class. If ghosts interfere with your homework or any other projects outside of school, you may ask for a one-week extension. Finally, if any of the other students start pestering you, you need only to come to me, and I will handle it personally. Whether your peers realize it or not, Mr. Fenton, you are not a zoo exhibit. I would have given you a call over the weekend to discuss this, but I figured you needed some time to yourself after all that's happened."

Lancer's student was stunned. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure, Mr. Fenton," he replied as he opened the classroom door. "Did you manage to complete your report on _A Midsummer Night's Dream_?"

Danny grinned. "As a matter of fact, I did."

A/N: So, here's Chapter One! We hope you've enjoyed the story so far, and if you have some comments, questions, or constructive criticism, LET ME KNOW! I would_ love_ to hear your ideas on how to improve this story!

Humbly yours,

-Quill N. Inque

_**Statler: If I had my way, I'd only do one thing to improve this story!**_

_**Waldorf: Really? What would you do?**_

_**Statler: I'd delete it!**_


	2. Chapter 2

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom

Chapter 2: Bloody Pirates!

Danny followed his teacher into the classroom that had become so familiar. Trying to ignore the fascinated stares of his fellow pupils, the Fenton boy sat down heavily at his desk.

_**Statler: I think we should reintroduce corporal punishment in schools!**_

_**Waldorf: Really?**_

_**Statler: Yeah, and then use it on the teachers!**_

Danny reached into his backpack and pulled out last night's homework before setting it down on his desk. His pencil began to scratch out notes as Lancer began to speak. But just as he tried to concentrate on his schoolwork, Danny felt a tapping on his shoulder. He looked up from his notes, praying it wasn't who he thought.

_Please don't be Paulina, please don't be Paulina, please, PLEASE don't be Paulina, _he prayed silently. Danny turned his head around slightly and was confronted by-

Paulina.

Danny turned around quickly and glanced knowingly at Tucker, who silently mimed vomiting. Sam, however, had red murder in her eyes as she glared at her arch rival. Tuck grinned and made a throat-cutting motion with his hand, and Danny agreed. _Whoever said "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" obviously had Sam in mind,_ he thought.

_**Statler: Yes! CATFIGHT!**_

He stiffened suddenly as a frosty breath of air exited his mouth without warning. "Not now," Danny groaned as he put his pencil aside.

"Mr. Fenton, is there a problem?"

"Yeah, I think there's a ghost nearby."

Lancer gestured toward the door. "Then by all means," he said.

As Danny transformed into his ghostly alter-ego, he nudged Sam.

"Will you let me look at your notes later?"

She smiled. "Sure."

Danny grinned back as he sped toward the door-

Right before it was blown off its hinges.

_**Waldorf: Hang on, hang on… What's happening? I'm confused.**_

_**Statler (sarcastically): Well, there's a surprise…**_

The force of the blast threw him back into the rows of desks, and several students screamed.

"That is definitely not the Box Ghost," Danny muttered as he sized up his opponent.

The ghost in question shouldered the massive shotgun-like weapon, its muzzle still smoking. He looked for all the world like something out of a "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. His skin was pale, his hair the color of seaweed, and he wore a ragged frock coat over his shoulders. His tattered breeches were tucked into a pair of rubber sea boots, which, like everything else, seemed worse for wear. On his head, the specter wore a wide-brimmed hat with a skeletal feather in it, and he was missing an eye. A long scar, pocked with stitch marks, ran diagonally across the ghost's face, and by his side he carried a short, double-edged sword with a basket hilt, its broadly curved blade ending in a wickedly glittering point. In a bandoleer across his chest, the ghost carried several flintlock pistols of varying sizes.

All in all, quite a fearsome-looking adversary.

_**Waldorf: I know someone who looks just like that!**_

_**Statler: Really? Who?**_

_**Waldorf: My mother-in-law!**_

"WHICH ONE O' YE MILK SLOPPIN' BRATS BE THE ONE CALLED DANNY PHANTOM?" the ghost roared as he drew his sword with a flourish. "COME OUT AND FIGHT, LEST YE BE A COWARD!"

Danny rose from the rubble that had been his desk. "You rang?"

The ghost pirate peered at him curiously through his good eye. " _Ye're_ th' ghost boy?"

"Who wants to know?"

Danny's foe shrugged. "Hm. Thought ye'd be taller."

"Hey!" Danny scowled as he sized up this new ghost. _He doesn't seem…evil, I guess. Otherwise he would've attacked by now. _"Who _are _you?"

" 'Tis none o' yer concern, boy, but ye may call me the Captain," the specter said amiably. "Me hearties back in th' Ghost Zone talk of yer skill in battle, and I've bin itchin' for a good brawl lately. So I've come here t'challenge ye, t'see if the rumors be true."

"So what you're saying is that you're going to try to kill me just for kicks?"

The Captain shook his head vigorously. "Nay, nay, 'tis nothin' personal! An' I never said anythin' 'bout tryin' to kill ye. Nay, lad, we'll settle this the way all pirates do!"

"How's that?" Danny couldn't help being curious.

The other ghost cackled. "With a drinkin' contest, o' course! Any man worth 'is sea salt can 'old 'is liquor! Last one standin' wins, and no vomiting allowed!"

_**Statler: You know, I got drunk once when I was a young man.**_

_**Waldorf: Was it bad?**_

_**Statler: Are you kidding? I woke up the next morning and found out I was married!**_

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't believe this," he muttered as he motioned to Sam and Tucker.

The hero looked at his friends desperately. "What do we do? I'm still a minor! But if I don't go through with this, he might hurt somebody!"

Tucker glanced back at the Captain and shrugged. "Why don't you just use soda? He probably won't notice the difference."

Sam stared at him. "Wow, Tucker, you actually had a _good_ idea for once."

Tucker started to retort, but the Captain's impatient voice cut him off. "I'm WAITIN', ghost lad!"

As Sam and Tucker left in a hurry, Danny turned to him. "Listen, my friends are going to pick up some, uh, VERY special rum for our contest."

The ghost pirate shuddered visibly with glee as he moved two desks together.

Danny's friends completed their errand in record time, staggering back in the classroom under the weight of several dozen twelve-packs of Coke. The Captain's face split in a feral grin as he sat down on opposite Danny.

"Ye may as well give hope, lad. No man, livin' or dead, ever drank me under th'table!"

_**Waldorf: That reminds me of…well…um…**_

_**Statler(snickering): Apparently your train of thought is still boarding at the station!**_

The ghost boy smirked back as he grabbed an aluminum can. "Well, you know what they say…there's a first time for everything."

_Much later…_

In the now-empty classroom, Danny's face twisted in revulsion as he forced himself to down another beverage, adding the crushed container to the small mountain of cans in front of him. The Captain, it seemed, wasn't even trying; he'd emptied twice as many, and was still going strong.

The Captain smiled. "Feelin' a little green 'round the gills, eh?" the ghost said as he drained another can in a single swallow.

Tucker grinned wickedly. "Any minute now…"

As if on cue, the ghost stiffened in his chair, clapping a mottled hand to his belly. "What in the…"

That was as far as he got before the pirate passed out completely.

Danny stared as the old swashbuckler slumped over the table. "What was that?"

Tucker snickered. "Let's just say that I added a little extra 'something' in the Captains first helping. When Sam and I went by your house to pick up the soda, I swiped something from your parent's lab when they weren't looking."

Danny fought to restrain his grin as he sucked the unconscious ghost into his Fenton Thermos. "What was it?"

"An experimental tranquilizer made especially for ghosts; I guess your folks want to knock them out so they can dissect them or something. All you had to do was wait for it to kick in."

"That's cheating, Tuck," the Halfling said with a frown. "What if he finds out? He might not be so amicable next time."

His friend smirked. "Oh, come on. You _know_ you'd have lost if it wasn't for me."

Danny abruptly bolted out of his chair. "I've_ GOT _to use the restroom."

Sam smiled as she watched him go. "I'm not surprised."

Two hours and ten trips to the toilet later, Danny breathed a sigh of relief as the final bell rang. He rushed out into the schoolyard, where his girlfriend was waiting for him.

Danny frowned. "Where's Tuck?"

She grinned. "Last I heard, he was in the computer lab, drooling over all the new equipment."

The Halfling smiled. "Well, that means we have some time to ourselves."

Sam arched an eyebrow as the corners of her mouth turned up. "I was wondering when you'd notice that," she said. "We hardly ever get any privacy nowadays."

Danny sighed as he pulled her close. "Wanna head over to the Nasty Burger? My treat."

"I'm game."

_**Statler: Yeah, game for SOMETHING!**_

As the young couple began to head down the sidewalk, a gruff voice, loaded with menace and intense personal dislike, stopped them in their tracks.

"Mr. Fenton, Ms. Manson, we'd like a word with you."

Whirling around, Danny found himself confronted by Agents O and K of the Guys and White.

_**Waldorf: The 'Guys in White'? That is SO racist!**_

_**Statler: What is **__**wrong**__** with you, Quill? Even**__** we**__**draw the line somewhere!**_

_**Quill : Guys, really, it's not like that-**_

_**Statler: A likely story! You'll be hearing from my lawyer, you racist pig!**_

_**Waldorf (picking up the phone): Save your lies for the indecency trial! You make me sick!**_

_**Quill: I NEVER MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE! I'M SO SORRY! (Runs out of the room sobbing)**_

_**Waldorf(smirking): You're right, Statler. That was fun!**_

_**Statler: I'll say! Now let's get out of here before he comes back!**_


	3. Chapter 3

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom

Chapter 3: A Warning and a Letter

Though Danny appeared calm, his body was tensed like a coiled spring, ready to fight at a moment's notice. To be honest, he hadn't given the GIW a second thought since the Disasteroid crisis was averted, and now Danny silently chastised himself for letting his guard down.

He tried to keep his voice calm. "What do you want?"

Even though Agent K was wearing sunglasses, Danny could still sense his glare. "We are under orders not to attack you without reason, Mr. Fenton. Nonetheless, the GIW feel you may still represent a significant threat to national security."

Agent O spoke next. "Our message is simple: Keep your nose clean, ghost kid, or else."

"We'll be watching," added K as the two operatives took their leave.

The GIW were gone as quickly as they had arrived.

_**Statler: 'We'll be watching?' Sounds like something out a low-budget spy movie!**_

_**Waldorf: Well, in that case, that line's perfect for this story!**_

Sam snorted. "What bunch of ingrates! There wouldn't even _be_ a national security if you hadn't saved the world!"

Danny shrugged. "Well, you can't please everyone, Sam. The only way to convince people like the GIW is to prove them wrong."

His girlfriend shook her head. "They're just angry 'cause they didn't get to dissect you."

The Fenton boy grinned. "Well, that _might_ have something to do with it…"

As Danny and Sam started to lean towards one another, a bright flash of light sent spots dancing across their eyes. They reluctantly pulled apart as a horde of reporters converged upon them, the questions coming thick and fast.

"Mr. Fenton, what is your opinion on the GIW?"

"Why were they here?"

"What can you tell us about them?"

Danny looked sideways at Sam as he hissed out of the corner of his mouth. "How did they find us? No one knew we were here except…"

Red murder flashed in Sam's eyes. "…Tucker!"

As Danny grabbed her and turned invisible, Sam was already thinking of ways to make their friend suffer.

_**Statler: That goth chick is gonna kick his ass!**_

_**Waldorf: FINALLY, some good old-fashioned gratuitous violence!**_

_**Statler: Well, if she's gonna hit him, she might as well aim low!**_

_Minutes later…_

Tucker Foley whistled softly to himself as he answered the door.

He'd barely even opened it before Sam kicked him in the shins with her steel-toed combat boots.

_**Waldorf: Oooh… THAT'S gotta hurt!**_

_**Statler: He gets no sympathy from me; NOTHING'S more painful than being forced to sit through this God-awful story!**_

The tech-lover gasped as he doubled over. "What the hell, Sam?"

She glared at him. "Don't give me that! You told those media vultures exactly where to find us!"

Tucker tried to look innocent, but his facial features couldn't quite pull it off. "I just thought you could use the publicity."

Danny felt his anger evaporate; he'd known Tuck for too long to stay angry at him. His furious expression cracked into a grin. "Look, if I want to speak to the paparazzi, then I'll let you know, okay? You can even be my PR guy."

"Really?"

"Of course not," the ghost boy said jovially.

His friend gave a wry grin."But that's not what kept you, is it?"

Danny sighed. "No. The GIW found us after school."

His friend bolted upright. "What? Did they attack you? I thought the GIW had to leave you alone!"

Sam shrugged. "Well, they didn't try to kill us, if that's what you mean…"

Her boyfriend finished for her. "…But they made it clear that they'd come after me if I stepped out line. Apparently someone in on Capitol Hill thinks I'm a 'threat to national security.'" Danny made quotation marks with his hands to punctuate his last sentence.

Tucker gave a lopsided grin. "The old 'government spook' shtick, huh?"

Sam chuckled. "Yeah, and, like everything else, they stink at it."

_**Waldorf: Yeah, just like Quill stinks at writing!**_

Danny turned to her. "Can we stop talking about ghosts for a while? I just wanna sit back and stomp Tuck at video games for few hours."

His friend snorted skeptically. "We'll just see about that!"

The ghost boy smiled wickedly. "Bring it on."

_Three hours, ten rounds of HALO and one new high score later…_

The sun had long set by the time Danny walked his girlfriend home under a cloudless, starry sky. It was times like this that he and Sam both enjoyed; No ghosts, no GIW, no reporters, and no crazed fangirls. Danny gently squeezed her hand, a silent sign of affection, as they turned down the street and into an exclusive neighborhood for the obscenely rich.

Danny didn't deny it; Sam's parents scared the hell out of him. Even after saving the planet, Sam's overbearing mother and father had been extremely reluctant about their relationship. Mr. and Mrs. Manson made no secret of their intense personal dislike of Danny and his family, considering them "crackpots" and "ne'er-do-wells". To his credit, Danny had never once lost his temper, and made a point of following all the rules the Mansons set for him and their daughter.

As they approached Sam's ridiculously large house, Danny pulled her close and kissed her lightly.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked.

"Count on it," Sam replied, with that smile he had grown to adore.

After dropping off Sam , Danny whistled softly to himself as he approached his own home; being with her always left him in a good mood. As he mounted the front steps, Danny noticed that his parents hadn't bothered to bring in the day's mail, which was unusual, since almost every government on Earth had written in requesting their opinions and advice on ghosts. The Halfling smiled to himself as he opened the ectoplasm-colored mailbox. It was about time his parents were being recognized for their brilliance.

He sifted through the papers, still humming cheerily. Bills, ads, fan mail (ick), personal correspondence…

The pile of papers fell from Danny's nerveless hands as he gripped a manila folder, which bore his name in emotionless, computerized letters.

But it wasn't the envelope itself that caught his eye.

It was the logo upon it.

The Presidential Seal.


	4. Chapter 4

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter Four: Seeds of Change

Danny's hands trembled as he shut the door behind him. He strode silently into the kitchen, where Jazz was occupied with her psychology homework. His sister's warm smile died on her face as Jazz saw her brother's shaken condition.

_**Statler: This story is really taking off!**_

_**Waldorf: Too bad it's gonna crash and burn!**_

"Danny? What's wrong? You look pale, more so than usual!"

_**Statler: Wow, these jokes make even Fozzie Bear look good!**_

Her brother glared at her.

Jazz put up her hands in surrender. "Okay, maybe that pale comment was lame, but seriously, what happened? And what are you holding?"

Before Danny could stop her, his sister snatched the envelope and tore it open without skipping a beat. As she took out the letter inside, her eyes widened.

"Danny…"

"Yeah?"

"This letter is from the President of the United States!"

_**Waldorf: You rang?**_

He grinned sardonically. "I kinda guessed that when I saw the sign on the package."

Jazz whistled as she handed the paper over. "You'd…better have a look at this, little brother."

Danny took a minute to nerve himself before he turned his eyes on the prestigious telegram, which was handwritten in a formal style of cursive.

_The White House_

_1600 Pennsylvania Avenue_

_Dear Mr. Fenton,_

_In light of recent events, it has come to my attention that it is in the best interests of the country to be fully informed on the all aspects concerning the subject of ghosts. I have been told that you and your parents are the most qualified experts in such a field, and it is with this in mind that I invite you to Washington to speak with myself, the Senate and the House of Representatives on this matter. If ghosts represent a significant threat, not only to the United States but to the world, then it is imperative that we know exactly what we are dealing with. On a final note, I wish to congratulate you, Mr. Fenton, on your valiant efforts during the "Disasteroid" crisis. _

_Sincerely, _

_The President of the United States_

_**Statler: Oh God, the leader of the free world's going to HIM for advice?**_

_**Waldorf (flatly): We're doomed.**_

"Wow," the Halfling breathed. "I have to admit, I was _not_ expecting this."

Jazz glanced at him with concern. "What about school? D'you want me to collect your work from your teachers?"

Danny smiled at her. _Good ol' Jazz._ "That'd be great," he said. "Chances are I'll have a mountain of assignments waiting for me when I get back."

"So you _are_ going."

"Frankly, I don't think I have a choice," the Fenton boy shrugged. "I mean, you don't just turn down an invitation from someone like that."

_**Waldorf: Why didn't we turn down Quill's invitation to narrate this story?**_

_**Statler: We were unemployed.**_

_**Waldorf: And drunk…**_

"What about Tucker and Sam?"

Danny frowned. "I'm…not sure, Jazz. I think I can persuade the President to let them accompany me, since they have almost as much experience fighting ghosts as I do." He grinned. "Besides, even if I said they couldn't come, they'd just ignore me, especially Sam."

His sister smirked. "You're really smitten with her, you know that?"

The ghost boy's smile got even wider. "Sam's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Danny!" the voice echoed as Jack Fenton, Danny's over-exuberant father, strode into the kitchen, followed by his wife. "How was your day? Did you fight any ghosts? What kind was it? Did you win?"

Maddie smiled as Danny got a word in edgewise. "Well, yes, I did encounter a ghost, but it wasn't one I'd ever seen before."

His mother reached for the Fenton Bazooka she kept taped under the table. "Are you all right?"

_**Statler: The happy homemaker hides a gun in the kitchen?**_

_**Waldorf: That is SO hot!**_

"Erm, yeah, Mom, I'm fine. He didn't actually try to hurt me…" Danny shook his head at the memory of his encounter with "the Captain".

"Then what happened, son?" asked Jack.

"Well, it ended up challenging me to a drinking contest."

Maddie Fenton's eyes clouded over with unbridled maternal fury. _"WHAT?"_

_**Waldorf: Ooh, NOW things are getting' good! **_

_**Statler: C'mon, Quill, let's see the redhead spank the living daylights out of the ghost kid!**_

Her son stepped back a pace unthinkingly, speaking in a rush to avoid his mother's wrath. "Geez, Mom, relax. I tricked him into using soda instead."

Mrs. Fenton's anger subsided instantly. "Oh."

_**Statler (furiously): DAMMIT, QUILL! **_

_**Waldorf: Mr. Inque, you are such a wuss!**_

Inwardly, Danny breathed a sigh of relief, glad to escape such a situation unscathed. He handed his mother the letter as her mouth opened inquiringly.

Maddie's expression went from stunned to shocked as her eyes roved over the sheet of paper. Shaking with excitement, she passed it to Jack, her eyes gleaming.

Danny had to cover his ears as his father yelled triumphantly. "YES! YEEES! Finally, Maddie, people are beginning to take us seriously!" Jack swept Maddie into his arms and swung her off the floor joyously. "This means government grants, patents, _lecture tours_!"

Though Mr. Fenton's son was more nervous than anything else, Danny had to smile to himself as he watched his father dance a merry jig about the kitchen. _Dad's always so easily excited._

_**Waldorf: I'm excited, too!**_

_**Statler: Really?**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, I'm excited for this God-awful story to be over!**_

"Now, Jack, we have to make sure Danny is okay with this," Maddie said in a gentle but chiding tone. "He is still in school, you know."

The ghost boy turned serious. "I think it's a good idea; if I'm injured or," Danny gulped slightly, "killed in action, the Feds need to be able to hold their own. Not that I'm planning on getting killed," he added hastily when he saw the naked worry on Maddie's face.

_**Waldorf: Naked? Did someone say naked?**_

_**Statler: We're listening, **__**now!**_

Jack nodded, in agreement with his son. "Then it's settled. C'mon, Maddie, we've gotta pack!" the Fenton patriarch took his wife by the hand and led her up the stairs at breakneck speed, his heavy boots clonking all the way.

As his parents departed, Danny picked up the phone on the marble countertop. As he dialed a number he'd long since memorized, the Halfling prayed that whoever answered wouldn't hang up on him.

His heart leapt as a tired, feminine voice picked up on the other end. "Hello?"

"It's me," Danny said.

"You'd better have a good reason for calling this late," Sam grumbled.

"Well…" Danny proceeded to give her the rundown of what had happened since he'd dropped her off hours before.

A shocked silence cut the air for a moment.

"That's actually a pretty good reason," Danny's girlfriend admitted. "You want me to call Tucker?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Meet at my house in fifteen minutes?"

"Gotcha."

The line went dead as Danny put the device back onto its receiver. He sighed to himself as the enormity of the recent developments dawned upon him once more.

_This public-hero thing is gonna be harder than I thought…_

A/N: You wanted another chapter, so here it is! ^^ What will happen to Danny and his friends and family on this trip to Capitol Hill? What kind of welcome will he receive? Will the GIW be there?

To find out, stay tuned!

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	5. Chapter 5

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 5: Foreboding News

_Shortly thereafter…_

Danny grinned as he ushered his two friends inside. Sam had been a bit cautious about going to Washington over the phone, but Tucker had been ecstatic about it. Even now, as Danny's erstwhile techno-savvy companion walked across the threshold, he had a huge grin plastered on his face.

_**Statler: I dunno what the geek is so happy about!**_

_**Waldorf: I'll say! If I were a character in this story, I'd throw myself in front of a train!**_

As Danny shut the door with a loud click, Sam turned to him, a steely smile on her face.

"You know I'm coming with you, right?"

Her boyfriend grinned; he always admired her willfulness. "I was depending on it, Sam."

Tucker was at his side in an instant. "You got a letter from the President? _THE_ President? Dude, that's an all-time best! You'll be famous!"

_**Waldorf: You say that like it's a GOOD thing!**_

Danny's mouth curved in a wry grin. "I'm already famous," he said ruefully.

"Oh…right. Well, you can always use some good publicity, especially with those 'Protectors of Humanity' people running around."

Danny and Sam spoke in unison. "Who?"

The self-proclaimed techie rolled his eyes. "You guys need to watch the news more often. They sprang up right after the whole Disasteroid thing; think of them as the ghost version of the KKK." Tucker's voice dropped lower as a growl rose in his throat. "If you haven't read one of their pamphlets, you're not missing anything. These people say that _all_ ghosts, even the ones who've allied themselves with you like Clockwork, Pandora and Frostbite, must be destroyed. And the kind of tripe they're spewing about_ you_, Danny! They say you're a demon, that you're a sign of the Apocalypse, and that you're secretly conspiring with ghosts like Skulker and Pariah Dark. These people have blamed you for every bad thing that's happened in Amity ever since you got your powers, and that the only way to save mankind is to either lock you away for good or execute you." Tucker went on, ignoring Jack and Maddie Fenton's horrified expressions. "Seriously, if the stock market crashed tomorrow, I'd swear they'd find a way to make you appear responsible."

_**Statler: If there's gonna be an angry mob, SIGN ME UP!**_

_**Waldorf (picking up a pitchfork): LET'S HANG 'IM!**_

Sam clenched her fists. "This isn't good."

"That's not the half of it," their friend said grimly. "They've got some supporters in Congress, too, Danny. And it's not too far-fetched to assume that they're all chummy with the GIW, as well. I've tried hacking into their website, but they've got firewalls that border on impregnability. Software like that costs a pretty penny, so whoever's backing the POH has to have some pretty deep pockets."

_**Waldorf: I think that unethical tendencies are must in the federal government!**_

_**Statler: Oh, absolutely! If you can't take a lobbyist's money, drink his whiskey, sleep with his women, and still vote against him in the morning, you DON'T belong in politics!**_

_**Waldorf: In that case, we should fit in perfectly!**_

The ghost child struggled to keep calm. "Do you think they'll be in Washington?"

Tucker nodded. "I'd say it's likely. But I don't think they'll try to hurt you, Danny, at least not yet. They've only formed in the past few weeks, so the POH are still finding their collective footing. But those guys could be a VERY real danger in the future. For now, I think we should just leave 'em be."

Jazz voiced agreement. "The POH will be looking for any ammunition to use against you when you're in D.C, Danny. Don't give it to them."

Her brother had a determined glint in his eye as he spoke. "I won't, Jazz. Count on that."

_**A/N: I am **__**so **__**sorry about this short chapter, but I have a test tomorrow in History class (The damn thing covers FIVE chapters!), so I fear my time is limited. I sincerely apologize, everyone, and I assure you that the next chapter will be much longer. **_

_**Coming up in the Chapter Six: A Phantom in the White House!**_

_**As yet the readers' servant,**_

_**-Quill N. Inque**_


	6. Chapter 6

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter Six: Arrival

_**Waldorf: Surgeon General's warning- reading this story may be hazardous to your health!**_

_**Statler: You heard him! Just say NO!**_

_Washington Dulles International Airport, Washington D.C._

Danny grunted and heaved as he struggled to lift his heavy suitcase from the conveyor belt of the baggage claim. As the ghost boy set his suitcase down gently, he grinned to himself as he recalled how his father had been stopped at airport security for carrying concealed anti-ghost weapons. Danny smiled as a very familiar hand lent its comforting weight on his shoulder.

_**Waldorf: You know, this story reminds me of cooked spinach.**_

_**Statler: How's that?**_

_**Waldorf: It tastes disgusting and no one can stomach it!**_

"I still can't believe your parents agreed to this," he remarked casually to Sam as he squeezed her hand.

She snickered. "You and me both, Danny. Though I think Grandma clinched it when she threatened to leave Mom and Dad out of her will. You can always trust them to think with their wallets instead of their hearts," she added acidly.

"Look at it this way, Sam," Tucker interjected as he wheeled his "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith" suitcase over to join them. "At least you won't have to put up with them for a while."

"This trip is sounding better already," Sam replied cheerfully.

_**Statler: Too bad the same can't be said for this story!**_

Danny looked over as Jack Fenton's loud tones echoed through the terminal. "C'mon, son! Our cab's waiting!"

"Coming, Dad!" his son replied. "Let's go," Danny added to his friends as they rushed to catch up to Jack's usual over-excitement. As they exited the airport, Tucker let out a low whistle.

"Wow."

It was true; apparently word had gotten around that the famous Danny Phantom would be visiting the nation's capital. Crowds were everywhere, and the frenzied tempo of their cries reached earsplitting levels when they saw the Fenton family.

"Danny, over here!"

"Look, it's the hero!"

"You rock, Phantom dude!"

"Bear my child!"

Sam glared at her boyfriend. "Be careful how you answer _that_ one, buster."

_**Waldorf: Hey, lady! **__**I'M**__** available!**_

_**Statler(shoving Waldorf out of the way): Pick me! Pick me!**_

Danny smiled reassuringly at her, but the expression died on his face as he realized that another, slightly smaller multitude was also in attendance.

And their shouts weren't as charitable.

"Death to all ghosts!" shouted a greasy, overweight man in a stained T-shirt as he hefted a sign with the letters "POH" scrawled upon it.

"Spawn of Satan! Begone, child of Darkness!" screamed another in a reverend's black-and-white garb.

"Filthy half-breed!"

"Ectoplasmic freak!"

"You don't belong here!"

Sam gritted her teeth. "Just ignore them, Danny. All they have are words."

_**Waldorf: Well, that's more than I can say for you, Quill!**_

"Racists," added Tucker.

The roars of the unwashed masses grew to deafening proportions as a "Supershuttle" van pulled up next to Mr. and Mrs. Fenton. As the driver helped Danny and his friends with their bags, a beer bottle sailed through the air, hitting the back of Danny's raven-haired head with a loud bonk and a crash.

_**Statler: YEAH! Headshot!**_

Stars exploded in front of the ghost boy's vision as he staggered, stunned from the impact. A thin trickle of unusually pale blood dripped down the back of Danny's neck as Sam and his mother helped him into the car. The vehicle's engine roared, and the scene of escalating chaos grew further and further away as the van's panicked driver stomped on the accelerator.

Danny groaned, felt the growing lump on the back of his head, and immediately hissed in pain. "Ow! What was that?"

Tucker's expression was somber. "Someone in the crowd slung a bottle at your head."

The look on Sam's face was downright terrifying. "And it'll be a dark day if I ever find out who."

_**Waldorf: Now that's more like it! **_

_**Statler: This gal looks like she has a PhD in payback!**_

Her boyfriend shuddered. Danny could only imagine the unspeakable tortures the poor soul would have to endure.

His voice slurred slightly as he spoke. "No, Sssam, 'snot worth it…" Danny stopped speaking altogether as he lapsed into unconsciousness.

Sam immediately became alarmed, but Tucker restrained her from waking him.

"Let him sleep, Sam. If Danny's gonna be speaking on the floor of Congress, he'll need all the rest he can get."

_The Hotel Monaco, hours later…_

Danny opened his eyes blearily as he returned to the waking world. His head ached abominably, and the Fenton boy was enormously grateful to see several aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table. After downing the pills and chugging the water, Danny sat up with a groan as he took in his surroundings.

_**Statler: I need some aspirin, too!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, this story's giving me a migraine!**_

_**Statler (struggling with the lid of an aspirin jar): F****** child-proof container!**_

It was obviously a ritzy hotel of some kind, though how his parents had been able to afford such luxury was a mystery; maybe the Feds were paying for it. Danny also noticed that it was now dark outside, though the sun's last rays were still lingering in the clouds.

A sudden knock at the door made him wince, but all pain was forgotten when he heard Sam's voice.

"Danny? Are you awake?"

"Yeah, c'mon in," he replied casually.

Sam strode over to her boyfriend, her eyes full of concern. "How's your head?"

"It hurts like hell," Danny replied cheerfully. "How long was I out?"

"At least two hours. I wanted to check in on you, but _they_ wouldn't let me see you until you woke up," Sam nodded toward the still-open door as she spoke.

Danny swallowed apprehensively. Sam was right…there were two large men, clad in black suits, standing just outside his room. And neither looked very friendly, judging not only by their expressions but also by the large semi-automatic pistols they wore.

"Who are those guys?"

"Secret Service," Sam replied. "Apparently one of the top brass wanted to make sure you didn't get hurt again."

His eyes widened. "Whoa. For real?"

Sam's eyes danced. "Mm-hmm."

"So, Sam, what'd I miss?"

"Danny?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

_**Statler: ALL RIGHT! LET'S SEE SOME TONGUE!**_

_**Waldorf: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!**_

Danny said her name like a prayer as he gently pressed his lips to hers in a chaste embrace. "Sam…"

_**Statler: (disappointedly): Well, that's no fun at all!**_

Sam's eyes closed automatically, and all thoughts of the POH and politics and Congress were forgotten.

After a moment, she broke away, and the two of them sat on the bed with their foreheads touching as they enjoyed the simple feeling of being together.

Then, as usual, Tucker barged in and ruined the moment.

_**Waldorf: HEY! That's **__**OUR**__** job!**_

"Hey, are you awake ye- Oh. Uh, I'll come back," their friend said with a smirk as he turned to leave. "Try to remember to breathe, Danny."

Tucker left as Sam's shoe hit the wall where his head had been a second before.

The aforementioned goth kissed her boyfriend one last time before she, too, strode out the door. "Go get some more rest, Danny. You need to be at the top of your game tomorrow."

Minutes later, the Fenton boy was lost to the world as the silent blackness of sleep claimed him once again.

A/N: I know you guys are eager to see Danny on Capitol Hill, but you'll have to wait one more chapter. Why, you ask? Because I'm an INCORRIGIBLE TEASE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

But seriously, don't fret, kay? The next installment will be up before you know it! ^^

Until the next chapter, my friends.

-Quill N. Inque


	7. Chapter 7

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter Seven: Politics, Presidents, and Phantoms

Danny Fenton was quite abruptly roused from his slumber when his mother yanked open the drapes, flooding the room with the sun's golden radiance. Acting on teenage instinct, the ghost boy groaned and hid his head under the pillow, reluctant to leave his soft, warm bed.

_**Statler: Great, yet another chapter in this God-awful story…**_

_**Waldorf: Someone shoot me now!**_

"Good morning, sweetie!" Maddie trilled cheerfully. "Time to get up. You have a big day ahead of you!"

Danny's heart promptly plunged into his innards as he remembered why he'd been called to Washington. Anxiety welled up inside his chest, threatening to overwhelm him as he dragged his half-asleep body into the bathroom.

As he bathed, Danny grew more and more nervous. _I've been invited to speak, in person, to one of the most powerful men on the planet on the subject of ghosts, _he thought_. Then I've got to stand up before the ENTIRE US. legislature and convince them that not all ghosts are evil. And that's assuming that those POH bastards don't give me another concussion on the way in…_

_**Waldorf (hefting a spiked mace): Don't worry! I'll do it for them!**_

_**Quill: Where did you get that? You were searched on the way in here, and your pockets were empty!**_

_**Waldorf(smirking): It wasn't in my pockets…**_

_I'm not ready for this,_ he thought wryly as he changed into a more formal outfit, a dark suit and tie more fitting for such a momentous occasion. There was no way in hell that Danny would turn up at the White House in his regular outfit of jeans and a T-shirt.

Emerging from his room, his hair still damp from the shower, Danny was immediately gratified to see Sam's appreciative glance at his choice in style.

Tucker elbowed her. "You might want to reel in your jaw, Sam, before you start drooling."

_**Statler (in a singsong voice): SOMEONE has a suit fetish!**_

Sam blushed, embarrassed, but her violet eyes once again turned to her boyfriend, who filled out his clothes quite well. _When did Danny get so built? _she wondered. _Not that I'm complaining…_

Sam finally found her tongue as he slipped his arm through hers. "You look nice, Danny. And buff, too."

Danny rubbed the back of his neck nervously, both pleased and embarrassed that she was so appreciative of his form. "Yeah, well, battling ghosts on a daily basis will do that to you."

Without turning around, Sam stepped viciously on Tucker's Armani-clad foot when he started to hum the theme from "Beauty and the Beast".

_**Statler: The techno-geek just can't take a hint, can he?**_

_**Waldorf: And neither can Quill!**_

"Are you nervous?" she asked tenderly.

"You have no idea," Danny replied.

"Don't worry, son, we'll be there to back you up!" shouted Mr. Fenton in his excessively loud tones.

"You can do it, honey," Maddie added as she swept him into her arms, tightening her grip like a vise.

Though his need for oxygen was reduced due to his half-ghost genetics, Danny still found himself gasping for breath in his mother's embrace.

"Mom…you're…crushing…me…"

"Sorry."

Danny had only just recovered his breath when his heart lurched as they exited the fancy hotel through its elaborate revolving doors. "Not again…"

It was the same story. Crowds of pro- and anti-ghost activists had converged upon the Fenton family's temporary residence like vultures to a fresh kill, their numbers swollen with reporters from every newspaper imaginable. _The New York Times_, _The Chicago Tribune_, _The Houston Chronicle_, _Time Magazine_, they were all there, and the flashes of countless cameras made spots dance across Danny's vision.

_**Statler: I dunno...I wouldn't mind some free publicity!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, can you imagine being on the cover of Maxim with all those gorgeous women?**_

_**Statler: That would be a dream come true! **_

On the bright side, he and his companions would be traveling in style, as evidenced by the stretch limo that was waiting for them. Tucker's eyes gleamed with anticipation, but Sam, having ridden in countless luxury vehicles due to her family's affluence, was unimpressed.

Danny nodded numbly to the chauffeur as he slipped into his Corinthian leather seat, and the shining black car was off like a shot, turning sharply down Pennsylvania Avenue.

The ghost boy felt his heart clench as the White House loomed ever closer, the Stars and Stripes waving proudly from its rooftop. As the driver neared the wrought-iron gates, two Secret Service agents, identical in almost every way to the ones who had stood guard outside Danny's room the night before, intercepted him.

"This is a restricted area," Goon #1 growled.

Danny gathered his courage and spoke from the back seat. "Uh, I was told that I was expected?"

Goon #2 glared at him. "We have not been informed of any anticipated visitors. Turn your vehicle around and leave immediately."

Sam scowled at him. "If you're so sure, why don't you call your boss in the Oval Office?"

"Maybe I will," growled the first man as he flipped open his matte black cell phone. After a short pause, he began speaking. "Sorry to bother you, Mr. President, but we've got a couple of punks out here who.." The agent was cut off abruptly, the color draining from his face as the voice on the other end rose angrily. "Yessir, I'll send them in right away. Yessir, understood."

_**Waldorf: I sense a pink slip in this guy's future!**_

A sheepish expression upon their features, the two unfortunate operatives waved them on. "Go on ahead. But don't touch anything!"

The chauffeur, now decidedly nervous, pulled to a stop less than a minute later in front of the White House's front steps, where the most powerful men in America had walked at one time or another. As he got out of the limousine, Danny could almost feel the weight of history that this hallowed place cast upon all its visitors; decisions had been made in these halls that had affected the very course of history.

All in all, hardly a place for a sixteen-year-old boy.

_**Statler: For once, Quill, I completely agree with you!**_

Engrossed as he was in the majestic architecture around him, Danny started slightly as a voice snapped him out of his reverie, a voice almost everyone in the country had come to recognize.

"Ah, Mr. Fenton, I'm glad you could make it."

Whirling around, Danny found himself face-to-face with the President of the United States.

Fighting to keep himself in a coherent thought process, the ghost boy tried to smile. "It's an honor, Mr. President."

The older man's warm smile helped calm Danny' s nerves somewhat as the leader of the free world glanced toward Sam and Tucker.

"Who are they?"

"These are my friends, Sam Manson and Tucker Foley, sir," Danny replied, trying to keep his anxiety out of his voice. "They've been fighting ghosts with me since day one, and are competent ghost hunters in their own right."

_**Waldorf: That's debatable!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, those two are about as good at ghost-hunting as Quill is at writing!**_

"Well, I suppose they can stay, then. We need all the help we can get, after all. Why don't we retire to my office? We have a lot of ground to cover," the President said. Looking toward Danny's parents and friends, he added, "I apologize, but there are several issues I wish to discuss with Mr. Fenton alone. I'll send for you when we're done."

Tucker looked vastly disappointed, but that was the furthest thing on Danny's mind as the President led him down the hall and into the Oval Office.

His tone was kind as he gestured toward the couch. "Please, Mr. Fenton, have a seat."

Danny obeyed instantly.

"I know you must be nervous," the man said ruefully. "I suppose my letter a few days back must have been quite shock."

"You could say that."

The President sank into the dark red chair behind his ornate wooden desk as Danny took the initiative.

"What would you like to know?"

_**Statler: I'd like to know why this crappy story isn't over yet!**_

"Well, for starters, what exactly _are_ ghosts?"

The ghost boy cleared his throat. "A ghost is the metaphysical form of a person who has passed on."

"So anyone could become a ghost?"

"Technically, yes, but most ghosts are the spirits of people who left behind unfinished business when they died, as well as those who suffered violent or tragic deaths. Being torn away from the living like that makes a lot of them angry, and since they're no longer human, many ghosts don't retain their sense of right and wrong. They become malicious as a result."

"So _all_ ghosts are dangerous?" the President asked.

"No, sir. I can name a few who have helped me out on several occasions."

"Such as?"

Danny thought for a moment. "Well, there's Frostbite. He's the leader of a whole _nation_ of benevolent yeti-like ghosts. Also, there's a ghost who calls himself Clockwork, and he controls the ebb and flow of time."

The other man looked alarmed. "So this 'Clockwork' could stop time at any moment?"

"Well, he very rarely interferes. Clockwork's job is to watch and observe, and make sure that the time stream is kept in balance. He's a _very_ powerful ghost, but he doesn't have any evil intentions.'

"You sound like you've met him before."

"I have," Danny said with a wry grin. "And the old geezer's squirrelier than ever."

"How powerful are _you_?" the President asked.

"Well," the boy said cautiously. "the GIW classified me as a Class-7 ectoplasmic entity, but that was a year ago. Right now, I'm probably about an eight."

_**Waldorf: If that's the case, I wanna see him level Quill's house!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, with Quill still inside it!**_

"Are there any ghosts, other than Clockwork, who are more powerful than you?"

"Well, there's Vlad Plasmius," Danny said, shuddering at the memory of his diabolically twisted archenemy. "It was only recently that I was able to best him in open combat. Then there's Pariah Dark, the so-called 'King of all Ghosts'."

The President's eyes widened. "A ghost _king_?"

"Basically, yeah. He ruled the Ghost Zone with an iron fist for about ten thousand years, before his subjects rebelled and placed him in an enchanted sarcophagus. Pariah was supposed to sleep forever, but Vlad woke him up by accident last spring."

_**Statler: EPIC FAIL!**_

A knowing look grew in the older man's eyes. "Then that massive invasion…all those ghost skeletons in Amity Park?"

_**Waldorf: They were the ghosts of people who died from reading this story!**_

Danny nodded grimly. "Yeah, that was him. And he had an army ten times that size at the height of his power. The only way I was able to defeat Pariah was by donning my parents' prototype Ectoskeleton. The suit, however, was unperfected, and it kept draining me of my power while I was fighting. I nearly killed myself wrestling the King back into his coffin."

"And he's still there?"

The ghost boy smiled reassuringly. "Yes."

"What about those other ghosts who helped turn the planet intangible during the Disasteroid crisis? Were they benevolent as well?"

Danny laughed. "Far from it! Most of them were actually my enemies."

"Then why would they agree to assist you?" the President asked, clearly confused.

_**Waldorf: I can't **__**believe**__** I voted for this guy...**_

"Well, you have to understand that the Ghost Zone, which all ghosts inhabit, and our world are intimately connected. If Earth was destroyed, then the Ghost Zone would go with it, so all those ghosts in Antarctica were really just looking out for themselves."

_**Statler: Selfishness and self-preservation…**_

_**Waldorf: Two things that are near and dear to our hearts!**_

"Oh."

After a momentary silence, Danny spoke up again. "Anything else?"

"Not right now, Mr. Fenton. I believe it would be more prudent for you to head over to the Capitol shortly. Congress is all abuzz about this whole ghost issue, and not all of them are as tolerant as me."

The boy's expression sobered. "The POH have supporters in the legislature." It was more a statement than a question.

"I'm afraid so," the President sighed. "Though the majority of the House frowns upon such extremist views, the Senate might give you some trouble, especially Senator Boran." He snorted. "I sat next to him at a formal dinner the other night, and he had quite a few things to say about you, none of them complimentary. Be on your guard, Mr. Fenton. Politics is, after all, a contact sport."

Danny grinned as he exited the room. "I'll remember that."

A/N: WHEW! That was a long chapter, but it was totally worth it! Coming up, Danny faces the scrutiny of Congress! ^^ Don't forget, if YOU have any questions, comments, constructive criticism, or ideas, LET ME KNOW! :D

Humbly yours,

-Quill N. Inque


	8. Chapter 8

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom

Chapter 8: On Capitol Hill

_The U.S. Capitol, Washington, D.C._

To say that Danny Fenton was nervous would have been an understatement; in all honesty, he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown as the nondescript car pulled up in front of the U.S. Capitol's giant steps. The ghost boy took a moment to nerve himself, squeezing Sam's hand for comfort before stepping out of the vehicle.

_**Statler: When's the Fenton kid gonna do his girlfriend?**_

_**Waldorf: Probably when Quill gets good at writing!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, I guess we shouldn't get our hopes up…**_

_**Waldorf: …'Cause the ghost boy can't get it up! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

Screams and yells greeted Danny's emergence as the gathered multitudes yelled at the top of their lungs. A near-constant flash of camera bulbs disoriented Danny as dots danced before his vision as he hurried inside, trying and failing not to notice how many so-called "Knights of the POH" were present. As Danny neared the door, grateful to escape from the-

_BANG._

Something chewed the masonry just to the left of where Danny had been standing. The impassioned cries of the crowd turned to terrified screams as everyone fought to get away. Danny whirled around, just in time to see the fanatical reverend from the day before being tackled by armed security guards, the smoking .45 still in his hand. As the priest was being handcuffed, his shouts were clear.

_**Statler: He MISSED?**_

_**Waldorf: Damn!**_

"There was no other choice! The Hellspawn has to be stopped, it's the only way, don't you see?"

"Yeah, yeah," muttered one of the cops as he confiscated the firearm. Turning to Danny, he frowned.

"You'd better get out of here before someone else tries to 'protect' us."

"Y-yeah, okay," the Fenton child replied, his voice shaking slightly.

Danny was no stranger to near-death experiences; he had realized long ago that such risks had to be taken. He'd had more than a few brushes with the Grim Reaper since he'd gotten his powers.

But it was one thing for Danny's enemies to make an attempt on his life.

It was another matter entirely when he was almost shot by the very people he'd sworn to protect.

The fact that so many people thought him evil, after all he'd done for them, after he'd saved the world from total annihilation…It hurt. A lot.

_**Statler: It can't hurt more than reading this story!**_

Danny dearly wished that his friends and family had been able to accompany him to this historical summit; unfortunately the Senate and House had obstinately refused to all them inside the famous structure.

The Fenton child flashed his security pass as he walked through yet another checkpoint, and his footsteps echoed eerily as he walked down the marble halls. Though Danny had seen pictures of the Capitol in his textbooks, it looked very different in real life. Everything about this place was elegant and beautiful, from the murals on the walls depicting great moments in U.S. history, to the famous _Apotheosis of Washington,_ a giant 180-foot statue of the first President surrounded by statues of Greek gods and goddesses. On seeing this, Danny paused momentarily as he looked into George Washington's face.

What would the most famous man in American history have to say about the issue of ghosts? How would Washington have reacted to the presence of a ghost-human hybrid in these hallowed halls?

_**Waldorf: I know what he'd say!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, and all of it would be censored!**_

Danny shook his head ruefully as he continued walking. _If only he'd become a ghost…then I could have asked him_, the halfa thought as he reached the imposing double doors that led to the central chamber.

Danny paused for just a moment as he slipped into his ghost form. _Otherwise, they might not recognize me,_ he reasoned as the twin rings of light moved over him.

When the transformation was complete, Danny took a deep breath and pushed the doors open.

It was apparent that the entire U.S. Legislature was in uproar over the matter of ghosts. Everyone was arguing with everyone else, each raising his or her own voice to be heard over the others. Danny tried to enter unobtrusively, waiting to announce himself at the opportune moment.

He failed miserably; as soon as Danny walked in, the noise began to quiet down. An eerie silence fell over the chamber as Danny worked up the courage to speak, trying to ignore all the pairs of eyes that were fixed upon him.

"Uh, hi," Danny started lamely.

_**Statler(sarcastically): Way to make an impression, boy!**_

A Senator from Oregon spoke up. "You're Danny Fenton? The ghost boy?"

"Yes."

"Well, get on with it!" the man snapped as he sat back down.

Danny took a deep breath, blocking out the sight of the TV cameras stationed around the rotunda before he launched into his "speech" (though describing it as such would have been an exaggeration).

_**Waldorf: Describing this as a story would be an exaggeration, too!**_

He didn't waste any time. "The subject of ghosts is a difficult one, I'm afraid. It's impossible to lump them all into one category: some are indifferent toward us, some are benevolent, and some are downright malicious. It is those who fall into the last category that represent a significant threat to the United States."

Another Senator, a woman, interrupted. "How do we know which ones are friendly and which ones are hostile?"

"Well, I'm personally acquainted with most of the benign ghosts. And I've fought the malevolent ones so many times I know them on sight."

"How do we know you're not lying? How can we be sure you're one of the 'good guys'?" an older Senator asked scathingly.

"If I were," Danny said quietly, "then would I have gone to such lengths to avert the Disasteroid crisis? Would I have risked my life every day to protect you, even as I was being hunted by the GIW?"

_**Statler: Put **__**that**__** in your pipe and smoke it!**_

The sneer left the elderly bureaucrat's face as he sat down heavily while Danny continued to speak.

"It wouldn't be fair to automatically assume that all ghosts are evil. I won't deny that many have no love for humans, but from what I've seen during my trips to the Ghost Zone, most of them just want to be left alone."

"What is this 'Ghost Zone'?" another Senator asked in a heavy Northeastern accent.

"Simply put, it's a different dimension that all ghosts call home."

"How big is it? Can it be accessed from our world?"

Danny shook his head. "The Zone goes on forever. Literally. You could explore it for a hundred years and not even scratch the surface. And there are many natural entrances to the Ghost Zone on Earth, but most only stay active for a short time before closing permanently."

Though he was being honest, for the most part, Danny left out the fact that his parents possessed the only working artificial portal. He didn't want to cause them any trouble, and who knew? For one thing, he GIW would just _love_ to get their hands on it, and then there was a very real possibility that the government would order them to turn it over.

As time dragged on, the session seemed endless, at least to Danny. For every question he answered, two more took its place. Apparently both the Senate and the House of Representatives were taking ghosts very seriously. Though he wasn't foolish enough to believe that everyone in Congress supported him, Danny still found himself stung by the suspicious glances and whispers that many legislators threw his way, as if he was some kind of absurd science experiment.

_**Waldorf: I can relate to that!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, this story seems like it's gonna go on forever!**_

_**Waldorf (sobbing): When will our torment end?**_

The sun was low in the sky when Danny finally emerged from within the bowels of the Capitol. He was surprised at just how tired he was; after all, he'd done nothing but talk all day. But that didn't change the fact that Danny was looking forward not only to becoming reacquainted with his bed, but also going back home to Amity.

His heart soared as he exited the Capitol and found Sam waiting for him.

"Was it bad?" she asked, smirking.

_**Statler: You have no idea, lady!**_

_**Waldorf: 'Bad' doesn't even BEGIN to describe Quill's writing!**_

"I think those people are way overpaid," Danny replied as he kissed her lightly. "But I don't think we'll have to worry about the Army invading the Ghost Zone anytime soon."

Sam's eyes twinkled. "I watched the whole thing on TV back at the hotel, Danny. We all did."

"Was I that bad?" her boyfriend asked, grinning.

"No, you were great! You had a lot of Senators won over!"

"Yeah, but there are a lot more who want to see me dissected," Danny replied wryly. "Tucker wasn't lying; the POH _does_ have some powerful backers in Congress. It's gonna take a lot to convince them that I'm not the enemy. Did you know someone tried to _shoot_ me on the way in?"

Sam immediately went into vengeful-overdrive. "Who?"

"That priest from the airport the other day. Remember him?"

"Yeah," her voice was hushed. "I mean, I knew he wasn't a fan, but I never thought something like this would happen."

"Don't worry," Danny said as he took his girlfriend's arm and began to fly back to the hotel. "I'm not planning on dying anytime soon."

"You'd better not," Sam replied as her eyes danced. "Or I'll come find you in the Ghost Zone and kill you all over again."

A/N: Sorry about the wait, guys! ^^ I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, 'cause I've had a BLAST writing it! What will happen when Danny returns to Amity Park? Will he be able to avoid Paulina and her posse of rabid fans? What is the POH planning? Who is their mysterious backer?

All this and more in coming chapters!

Sincerely yours,

-Quill N. Inque


	9. Chapter 9

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom

Chapter 9: The Gathering Storm

_The Fenton residence, late in the evening_

Danny Fenton fought to keep his eyes open as he unpacked his suitcase, trying not to glance at the ridiculously late hour on the alarm clock beside his bed. The flight back from Washington had been delayed, and the Fentons had returned home to Amity much later than planned.

Of course, being half-ghost, Danny wasn't always bound to the "eight to twelve hours of sleep" rule that was recommended for his age. On many occasions, he'd had to stay up late fighting the most persistent specters such as Skulker and Technus till the wee hours of the morning.

_**Statler: Now I'm starting to get a little sleepy!**_

_**Waldof: I'll join you! Sleeping sure beats having to listen to**__** this**__** literary atrocity!**_

Even so, Danny had his limits. The past few days in D.C. had been exhausting: first off, he'd been hit on the head by an angry POH activist at the airport, then he'd had lunch with the most powerful man on the face of the Earth, followed up by a six-hour grilling from a highly suspicious United States Congress, and finally an attempt on his life by a crazed priest, who'd tried to shoot Danny on the way back to his hotel.

_**Waldorf: A priest tried to shoot him? Disgraceful!**_

_**Statler: What was he thinking? HE MISSED!**_

Such ordeals would drive even the strongest of men to exhaustion, but the problems Danny Fenton faced at home were just as bad, if not worse.

The POH were growing stronger; Danny's presence on Capitol Hill seemed to have swelled their ranks, as though his visit had convinced thousands that Danny Phantom was, indeed, a malevolent and deceitful ghost bent on the destruction of mankind. The organization seemed to be everywhere, and their intentions toward Danny were becoming more and more ominous; upon returning home, his mother and father had found no fewer than four death threats in the torn remains of their mailbox. It seemed that the so-called "holy crusaders" were no longer a minor nuisance, but a rapidly growing threat, one which seemed to grow stronger every day, no matter how much Danny protested his innocence.

_**Waldorf: Can I join?**_

Of course, one also had to take into account his old crush, Paulina, and the mob of crazed fans (mostly girls), that she led. Naturally, this wasn't as serious a problem as the POH, but the whole thing was growing old fast. At first, Danny had enjoyed the attention. Now it was just annoying, seeing as how he had to look both ways before stepping outside his house.

_**Statler: Get your act together, ghost kid! Embrace the fangirls!**_

_**Waldorf: Something **__**we **__**never had, by the way!**_

And recently, the media had stepped up their efforts to photograph and chronicle every single part of Danny Fenton's life. He was getting so many calls from TV networks and talk show hosts requesting interviews that Jack had finally lost his temper and unplugged the phone. The ghost boy now found it necessary to take certain precautions against tabloid intrusions; such as keeping his windows shut and the blinds closed at all times. It wouldn't do for some amateur photographer to catch Danny as he was stepping out of the shower, after all.

Caught between these three factions the moment his plane had landed, Danny let out a frustrated sigh as he flopped onto his bed.

The halfa was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but it seemed like only a moment before his stupid clock started to beep again.

_**Waldorf: I know what that feels like!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, at least at our age we can sleep in as long as we want!**_

"Uggghh," was the only thought Danny was able to vocalize as he forced himself from the paradise of warm sheets and soft pillows, stumbling down the hall toward the bathroom in order to gather his thoughts and brace himself for another trying day.

Minutes later, his hair still dripping, Danny padded down the stairs, his nose twitching eagerly as he sought to identify what delicacy his mother had created. Mrs. Fenton was always obstinate about fixing a hot breakfast for her children, and it was the only part of getting up that her son actually enjoyed; it seemed as if Maddie outdid herself every day.

_**Statler: The question is, dripping with **__**what**__**?**_

After shoving the last of his three-cheese omelet down his throat, Danny grinned at his mother fondly. "Five stars, mom, as always."

_**Waldorf: Well, that's more than I can say for MY wife's cooking!**_

"Why, thank you, Danny," Mrs. Fenton replied with a smile, but there was nothing new about his statement; Danny said that every morning.

Then her expression sobered. "Be careful out there, sweetie. A lot of people are after you, and not all of them have benign intentions."

Danny rubbed the still-sore lump on the base of his skull, a painful reminder of the POH reception in D.C. "I know," he said as he transformed into his ghostly alter-ego. With ease borne of continual practice, the youngest Fenton phased out of sight and through the ceiling.

As Danny Phantom flew unseen over the town he'd sworn to protect, he felt shivers travel down his spine as he saw Paulina and her cronies lying in wait for him behind his house. _That girl needs to see a psychiatrist… Maybe Jazz would volunteer,_ Danny added with a grin. _Though I wouldn't bet on it…she has no more affection for Paulina than I do. _

_**Statler: I disagree! Quill's the only one around here who needs professional help1**_

_**Waldorf: Only a sick, sick man could write a story THIS bad!**_

The red-bricked structure of Casper High loomed suddenly into his view, and Danny was jolted abruptly from his thoughts as the ghost boy wheeled a sharp right to avoid hitting it.

Touching down, he gave up on his invisibility and reverted to his human form as Danny landed beside his two friends.

"Rough night?" Tucker asked concernedly.

"You could say that."

"Was it Paulina again?" Sam asked, fully intending on pulverizing the beauty queen.

_**Waldorf: I wish!**_

"No, but I'm kinda sad it wasn't," Danny sighed. "It's those 'Protectors of Humanity' people; I saw them demonstrating at three separate locations on the way here. They're getting stronger, Tuck. It seems like every minute I turn around there's more and more of them. There's no question that they want me dead, or at least reduced to a lab rat for the GIW."

"Did you try talking to them?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, right after you guys went home last night, and I barely got away with all my limbs still attached. These guys are fanatics."

_**Statler: Well, what'd you THINK was gonna happen, genius?**_

"Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news," Tucker began. "But they've gone even farther. Last night, the POH targeted a bunch of people in the park who were demonstrating in favor of ghost tolerance. It was pretty ugly; no one was killed, thankfully, but…"

"But…" Danny said, prompting him to finish.

"The POH worked a number on them, and five are still in the ICU downtown. They released a statement in the paper today saying that they're targeting 'traitors to humanity' who support you and think you're a hero. It would probably be wise to upgrade Fentonworks' security."

_**Waldorf: Wish I'd been there…**_

"Have the police done anything?"

"Not yet, but you know how politics are. There are more than a few people in City Hall whose views are similar to the POH, but it seems that the organization has gone underground anyway. They're not activists anymore, Danny, and I don't think it'll be too long before the POH is packing more than just beer bottles."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Tucker's right," Sam added. "Now, more than ever, you need to be cautious."

"You think it's possible someone could be controlling them?" Danny asked thoughtfully. "Ember, for example, has a knack for that sort of thing, like when she brainwashed all our parents with that cruise scam a while back."

_**Statler: Well, that's one scam I haven't heard of before**_!

"I suppose it's possible, but wouldn't your ghost sense have warned you if that were true?"

The bell's brazen tones echoed across the schoolyard, cutting the conversation short.

Danny tried to smile reassuringly at his friends. "Don't worry. We'll get to the bottom of this sooner or later."

As he stepped inside the hallowed halls of Casper High, a familiar (but VERY unwelcome) cheer met Danny's ears.

"IT'S THE GHOST BOY!"

As he turned to run from Paulina's gang, the ghost boy looked as if he might cry.

"Not again…"

_**Statler: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you see the look on his face?**_

_**Waldorf(hefting a camcorder): Youtube, here I come!**_

A/N: I know it took a few days, everyone, but I'm really busy with school right now. I'll try to update AT LEAST once a week, probably on the weekends, so it shouldn't be too bad. Please bear with me, my friends, and I promise you that your patience shall NOT go unrewarded (I'll be DAMNED before I abandon my readers and let a story rot!). Lastly, I'd like to thank all of you who have commented on my story so far! Readers like you make it all worthwhile! ^^

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	10. Chapter 10

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom

Chapter 10: Pirates and Prejudice

Deep in the bowels of Fentonworks, in the heart of Jack and Maddie's laboratory, the ghost portal's yellow-and-black striped doors _dinged _as the newest fugitive was thrust into the realm of the living.

_**Statler: Great, now we can trade places!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, I'll take a ghoulish pocket dimension over this crappy story any day**_!

Almost comically, the pirate specter known only as the Captain stumbled over the hem of his tattered coat, falling flat on his face as he left the swirling vortex behind.

"Blisterin' barnacles!" the Captain swore as he righted himself. " 'Tis just as well me old crew ain't here t'see that! Never mind, at least this ol' seadog ain't trapped in _that_ infernal dimension. I much prefer this one, 'specially the booze. Even I can't abide the gutrot that Skulker cove makes. Although," the specter added, " I s'pose I only got meself to blame fer windin' up there."

_**Statler: Looks like SOMEONE doesn't have both oars in the water! HAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

The ghost's face grew morose. "I can't believe that li'l snip managed to beat me. I never lost a contest, not in me past life nor in this one! Mebbe that kid'll agree to a rematch, if I kin track 'im down."

The sailor checked himself briefly, and when he was sure that all his weapons were accounted for, phased through the basement ceiling and out of sight.

_At the same time…_

At the risk of sounding clichéd, trouble was brewing only a few blocks from the Fenton house. In the heart of Amity, crowds of people were converging upon what had originally been a small demonstration by a few dozen activists.

In short order, however, a few dozen turned into a few hundred as more and more people stopped to listen to what the unassuming man had to say.

This was hardly necessary, though; one could infer his intentions without listening to his monologue, for the hastily painted banners behind him bore the logo of the POH, which consisted of Danny's famous "DP" logo marred by a red slash.

_**Waldorf: I gotta say, THAT makes a statement!**_

_**Statler: Move over, I wanna see if they're sellin' any t-shirts!**_

"The boy is marked by the Devil!" shouted the man to the assembled masses. "His very presence corrupts life and the living, even now he plots with his unholy allies to exterminate the human race! Danny Fenton has sold his soul to Lucifer, and _he must be stopped before it's too late_!" the speaker's voice rose to fever pitch as the people around him began to voice their assent, blinded by their own hatred and bigotry and infused with the so-called "mob mentality".

_**Waldorf: Do you have any idea what these guys are so angry about?**_

_**Statler(lighting a torch): Nope. Don't care either!**_

_**Waldorf: I'm with you!**_

"The United States government has done nothing about the scourge of the ghost child and his ilk! They have sullied the nation's capitol, inviting him into humanity's most sacred chambers, tainting the very heart of America with his evil! If the Feds won't stop him, _we will!"_

"He's right!"

"The Devil walks with the Fenton boy!"

"He must be stopped!"

"Destroy him!"

Smiling wickedly, the rabble-rouser kicked open the large crate upon which he stood, spilling its contents of heavy anti-ghost weapons across the pavement. Picking up a plagiarized copy of the Fenton bazooka, he raised it above his head.

"The demon child's unholy lair is just minutes away! We'll rid the earth of his evil! WHO'S WITH ME?"

Roars of approval greeted his proposal, and moments later a small army was charging down Main Street as they cried for Danny Fenton's ectoplasm-laced blood.

_**Statler (panting): Wait for us!**_

Above them, a worried expression replaced the Captain's usually jovial smile.

"Gallopin' grape shot! I never seen nothin' like this since the French Revolution!" the ghost muttered to himself as he felt an unusual wave of concern for the boy wash over him. The pirate felt an almost overwhelming urge to help the lad, which was unusual for him. It wasn't that the Captain wasn't a _bad _ghost, per se, but he wasn't used to helping people often. Not unless there was something in it for him, which made sense given his occupation in life. But, though he would never admit it, the old seadog felt a certain fondness for the Fenton child. Danny's willpower, determination, and simple stubbornness reminded the Captain of himself as a boy, back in 17th century London.

"Blast!" the pirate sighed as he flew ahead of the mob, invisible to the human eye. "Must be gettin' soft in me old age."

Moving swiftly, the Captain pushed his ectoplasmic abilities to the limit, desperate to buy himself and his friend a few precious minutes to prepare for the inevitable fight.

_**Statler: Oh, great, now the bad guy's become the good guy!**_

_**Waldorf: Can this story get any worse?**_

_**Statler(dryly): You really have to ask?**_

That thought startled him as he phased through the roof of Fentonworks. It had been over two hundred years since he'd called _anyone_, human or ghost, a friend. The Captain had kept to himself in the Ghost Zone, largely due to his volatile temper and his steadfast refusal to go along with the schemes of Danny's other villains. And of course, the residents of this dimension wouldn't greet the pirate with outstretched arms.

It was with this in mind that the Captain materialized in the middle of the ghost child's bedroom, his hand on his cutlass hilt as Danny's ghost breath startled him awake.

The hero bolted upright in his bed, his hands glowing with ectoplasmic energy as the other ghost began to speak.

"Steady, lad!" the Captain said hoarsely as he put up his hands in a gesture of peace. "I didn' come here to fight ye!"

_**Waldorf(hefting a Fenton bazooka): Well, that makes one of us!**_

"Then why are you here? Not for a rematch, I hope," Danny said sardonically.

"Well, that was me original intention, aye," the pirate admitted. "But we've got more important problems t'worry 'bout. I came here to warn ye, yer life's in danger!"

"What?" the halfa asked, instantly awake.

"There be a mob headed this way, mate, armed to the teeth, an' they're all out to kill ye!"

"How many?"

"A score an' a half, easily, an' if ye value the lives of yer mateys, ye'll get 'em to safe place before these blokes break down yer door! I'll hold 'em off fer as long as I can!"

_**Statler: A 'score'? How many is that?**_

_**Waldorf: Not enough!**_

"No," Danny said quietly. "It's me those people want, not you. It's _my_ responsibility to make sure they don't get in here."

_**Statler: Blech…All this heroism and selflessness is giving me a rash!**_

_**Waldorf(covering his nose): That's not the only thing they're giving you…**_

The Captain extended his mottled green hand. "Then what say ye to a temporary partnership? Ye go on an' warn yer kin, an' we'll see this lot off together!"

"That would be a good idea, except that you mentioned these guys were armed, and I'm not. Dad keeps all the equipment in the weapons vault; I don't know the combination, and you can't phase in there 'cause it's protected by an anti-ghost shield on the inside."

"We'll deal wi' that in a moment!" the pirate cried as someone began pounding on the Fentons' front door. "Get t'others to safety! GO!"

Danny sped out the door, grabbing his parents and Jazz from their beds with a speed borne of urgency. Straining his enhanced muscles to the limit, the hero turned intangible and rocketed skyward before depositing his loved ones on the safety of a nearby rooftop.

As he did so, a half-asleep Maddie noticed the worry in her son's eyes.

"What's going on, Danny?"

"No time to explain. Trust me, you're better off not knowing," the halfa replied as he soared away.

_**Statler: 'No time to explain'?**_

_**Waldorf: As if THAT line hasn't been used a thousand times…**_

Meanwhile, the Captain tapped his foot anxiously as he waited for his new ally to return. The rioters were growing more and more violent by the minute, and it didn't help that they'd already splintered the front door. The pirate didn't disguise his relief when Danny appeared beside him.

"Thank the fates! Fer a minute there, I'd thought ye'd turned tail an' run," the Captain said casually.

Danny's luminescent green eyes settled on the large crack in the door in front of him. "They're nearly through. Please tell me you managed to scrounge up _something_ for me to use."

The Captain's sea-green eyes danced. "No need," he said. " 'Tis for situations like this 'un that I always carry a spare blade or two. Catch!"

_**Waldorf: It's the same with me! I always carry at least two pairs of reading glasses!**_

_**Statler(glaring at Waldorf): Well, they didn't do you much good, YOU'RE the one who was supposed to read the fine print when we signed on for this gig!**_

The ghost child caught the sword as his friend tossed it to him. Danny did have some previous experience with such weapons, most notably from the incident where Vlad, with the stolen Infimap, had tried to seize control of a Tibetan monastery. But the perfectly balanced, diamond-edged katana Danny had used then was vastly different from the top-heavy, curved blade he now found himself holding.

"What are ye doin', watchin' the tide come in? Let's go outside an' say hello!" the Captain snarled.

"Wait."

"Aye?"

"I know they want me dead, but even so, I will not take a life, whether it's a ghost or a human. Stooping to their level would only prove them right."

"An' ye wan' me t'do the same?" Danny's comrade asked.

"Yes."

The ghost sighed. "If'n ye speak truly, then ye be the noblest man on earth, givin' such undeserved mercy to rabble such as this. Very well, lad, these knaves'll live to see th'dawn."

_**Waldorf: Oh, come ON! THAT IS SO WEAK!**_

_**Statler: Quill takes the fun out of EVERYTHING!**_

"Agreed," the halfa replied as the two specters walked through the walls to face the rioters. The POH's shouts were momentarily muted by the pirate's admittedly fearsome appearance, and Danny used that opportunity to try to reason with them.

"This is my home! Why are you doing this? Can't you see that I'm not the villain here?"

"Don't try to fool us with you lies, devil-spawn!" shouted the man who'd spoken at the park. "Tonight, we'll purge the Earth of your evil! GET HIM!"

As the crowd closed in on them, the Captain's face split into a feral grin. "Thirty against two, eh?"

Danny smiled back at him. "I'll take those odds."

A/N: Hi, guys, I'm back! But really, it's not like we ALL didn't see this coming! XD

Coming up: Danny and his friend face a homicidal POH lynch mob! You can't help but feel sorry for them.

The POH, that is….

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	11. Chapter 11

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 11: The Return

The rioters closed in on Danny and the Captain, but it was the two ghosts who made the first move, each fighting with a very different, distinctive style.

Danny's expression was grim; his cutlass made a rasping sound as it bounced off a metal pipe, which swung at his head with devastating force. With instincts bred of necessity, the ghost boy ducked under the intended death blow and, with a punch to the gut, drove the man's breath from his body with a loud _whoosh_. Danny didn't even glance at his fallen foe as he turned to meet his next challenger, this one armed with a wickedly sharp stiletto. But the POH activist didn't lunge with the blade; instead she threw it like a dart, and the weapon lodged in Danny's shoulder all the way up to the hilt as the young hero roared in pain, his green-tinged blood spattering the asphalt.

_**Statler: NOW things are getting interesting!**_

_**Waldorf: C'mon, Quill, let's see some gore!**_

The Captain, seeing his friend in such distress, howled with rage as he fought like a cornered wolf. The old seadog had about two hundred years' more experience in fighting than Danny, and this was starkly evident as he desperately tried to come to Danny's aid. The specter grabbed a heavy sign from a woman's hand and promptly broke it over her husband's head, dropping the man like stone as the Captain yelled out his challenge, laughing defiantly in the faces of his foes.

_**Waldorf: Well, at least he's having a good time!**_

_**Statler: Well, that's more than I can say for the two of us!**_

"Who's next, ye slab-sided sons' o worms? WHICH ONE O' YE FEELS BRAVE ENOUGH TO CROSS BLADES WIV A PIRATE? HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

The pirate slammed the rounded pommel of his sword into another man's temple, stepping over his unconscious body as Danny, grimacing, pulled the stiletto from his skin.

_**Statler: Owch! He's gonna feel that in the morning!**_

_**Waldorf: I think he's feeling it NOW! Hahahaha!**_

"Are ye all right, lad?" the ghost asked as he slugged a rioter in the stomach.

Danny didn't have time to reply; his eyes widened in horror as he saw someone take aim at his friend with an Ecto-Gun. The halfa ducked a wild haymaker and took swift aim as a green blast of energy knocked the man's feet right out from under him.

"Watch your back!" Danny shouted as he turned around-

"Watch yer own!" the Captain retorted as he slammed two POH members' heads together with an odd sound reminiscent of coconuts colliding.

_**Waldorf: Such camaraderie and courage!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, I know. Makes you sick to your stomach, doesn't it?**_

Though he wouldn't say it, Danny's shoulder hurt like hell. It was bleeding heavily, and he was starting to tire. Undisciplined these people may have been, but the two ghosts faced being overwhelmed by force of numbers. _I never thought I'd regret skipping "The Art of War" for Lancer's book report,_ the halfa thought dryly as he deftly dodged a hard left to the jaw.

The Captain, meanwhile, seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself, laying about him left and right with a pleasant expression, as if he were on a Sunday stroll. The pirate had taken a few hits, but if he felt them, he didn't show it as he slapped a man on the rear with the flat of his cutlass. He and Danny were now back-to-back, fighting tooth and nail as the mob began to overwhelm them.\

_**Waldorf: FINALLY!**_

_**Statler: Took 'em long enough….**_

The ghost boy kicked out viciously with his right leg, sending one staggering backward as his sword sliced a wooden club in two, the pieces of which Danny promptly blasted with his ecto-rays, sending them flying through the air at a considerable velocity.

"We're in trouble here," Danny growled urgently as his knuckles, skinned and bloody, slammed into a POH member's jaw with a meat _thwack_.

"Trouble, ye say?" the Captain replied, knocking two more fanatics unconscious with his powerful fists. "I call it sport!"

_**Statler: Then I'd hate to see what he calls danger!**_

The younger ghost grunted in pain as someone hit him on the side of his head. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Are ye jestin'?" Danny's friend laughed. "I ain't had this much fun since that scrap with the Royal Navy off Jamaica back in '63!"

The fight was becoming more and more bitter; the mob's ranks had been thinned in the fighting, and their response was nothing short of vicious, their attacks made stronger by a hatred borne of religious conviction.

A woman with homely features ducked under the Captain's blade, and his surprise turned to anguish as she hit him with an Ecto-Gun at point-blank range. To a halfa like Danny, such a blow would be extremely painful.

To a full-fledged ghost like his ally, the agony was beyond words.

_**Waldorf: YES! GOT HIM!**_

_**Statler: It's about time Quill grew a pair and bumped off one of his characters!**_

The pirate's war cries turned to excruciated shrieks as arcs of green electricity seared his pale flesh, and his fingers twitched convulsively while his body spasmed.

To Danny, it all happened in slow motion, and his eyes widened with horror when he saw his friend's ravaged body slump to the floor.

"CAPTAIN! NOOO!"

The halfa's eyes turned red as his shock became a boiling, fiery, all-consuming anger seared through Danny's veins.

_**Statler: Ooooh…Looks like the ghost kid's finally snapped!**_

_**Waldorf(laughing): I wouldn't wanna be in their shoes!**_

_**Statler: You said it! There won't be enough left of these people to scrape up in a Ziploc! Hahahahaha!**_

"YOU BASTARD!" the ghost boy screamed as he threw himself at his attackers, blinded by his fury and rage, and all the while the rioter's malicious expressions turned to those of heart-stopping fear at the sight of Danny's cold, wrathful expression.

He was everywhere at once; fighting like a crazed wolverine with whatever he could get his hands on. Danny snatched a heavy 2x4 from the man nearest him, and belted the unfortunate soul across the belly without even turning around. The rioter gasped and fell to his knees, but there was no reprieve for him as Danny grabbed the collar of his shirt and threw the man into three of his fellows, knocking them down like ninepins. Danny ducked a brass-knuckled jab, and a chilly smile crossed his features as he overshadowed him. Normally the hero wouldn't have done such a thing due to ethical reasons, but all sympathy for these bigots had vanished with the Captain's consciousness.

_**Waldorf: I just LOVE watching gratuitous violence!**_

_**Statler(offering a large bowl): Want some popcorn?**_

The halfa, now in another's body, put the illegal piece of metal to good use as men and women fell before his onslaught like saplings before a storm. Danny knew they were scared of him, and a darker part of his ghostly self, one that he'd long since locked away, drew pleasure from the stink of their fear.

At last, the POH began to lose enthusiasm for their "holy crusade". They began to break and run, first one or two at a time, then by fives and tens before the hatemongers fled en masse, eager to escape from the demon-child's fury-

But their exodus was brought to an abrupt halt as a fleet of squad cars cut off their flight to freedom. One by one, the POH dropped their weapons when confronted by Amity PD's superior firepower; bats, clubs, knives, and a host of other things clattered and clanked as an officer began reading them their rights through a megaphone.

_**Statler (nervously): Let's just keep quiet until the cops leave…**_

Realizing the fight was won, Danny ceased his overshadowing as he felt exhaustion overwhelm him. Minutes ago, the ghost boy's tiredness, and the pain from his various wounds, had been blocked out completely by rage and adrenaline. But as these began to subside, Danny's battered body began to feel the toll such a conflict had exacted from him. But he couldn't stop to rest; his friend was in danger.

Hobbling over to where the Captain's prone body lay, Danny shook the pirate hard in an effort to rouse him into wakefulness.

"Captain! CAPTAIN!"

The aforementioned specter opened his eyes blearily. "Must be losin' me touch, lad," he rasped with a crooked smile. " 'Twas a grand scrap though, wasn't it?"

_**Waldorf: Are you SERIOUS? He's still ALIVE?**_

_**Statler: What a gyp!**_

"Yeah, it was," Danny replied. "Let me help you up."

The pirate grasped the proffered hand, but had to lean heavily upon Danny's shoulder in order to stay upright. The halfa's relief, though, turned to outrage as he realized that several officers now had their weapons trained on his friend.

"Freeze, ghost!" a younger cop shouted, flicking the firearm's safety off.

"What is WRONG with you people?" Danny said angrily. "He's NOT the enemy here! _He saved my life!_ Those POH guys are the real villains of this piece!"

"Hah!" shouted the man who'd instigated the riot as he was shoved into a squad car. "The devil-spawn is trying to twist you with his lies! This isn't the end, fool! The holy war will continue until the Earth is purged of you and your unholy race, Danny Phantom, and the moment of your death will be celebrated for centuries once the world sees you for what you really are!"

_**Waldorf: Wow…this guy's a total sleazoid!**_

_**Statler: And this coming from **__**us!**___

"Helter skelter," the halfa muttered to himself. "He's nuts!"

"Never mind him, laddie," the Captain replied. "I never had a family of me own, but even so, I'll wager yours will be a-wantin' t'know yer safe."

"What about you?" Danny asked. "You're hardly in a position to be moving around much."

"Rubbish!" the pirate snorted. "A few bottles o' booze an' I'll be right as rain! Though if'n ye be in possession of a spare bed or two, I'd be much obliged if ye'd gimme a place to rest these old bones."

"I'm sure we can work something out," Danny chuckled as the two ghosts, both the worse for wear, landed a safe distance away on top of the building where the Fentons had taken refuge.

The halfa was quick to speak as his parents, on seeing his companion, went for their weapons without hesitation. "No, no, no! Wait! Stop!"

_**Statler: Don't listen to him! Fire away!**_

Jack hesitantly lowered his Fenton bazooka, but only just a fraction. "What?"

"Mom, Dad, Jazz, I'd like you to meet my friend, the Captain. I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for him."

Despite his injuries, the specter doffed his broad-brimmed hat and bowed elegantly. " 'Tis a pleasure t'be meetin' ye, I'm sure. Ye've a fine lad here, sir."

_**Waldorf: Well, that's debatable!**_

"What happened to your shoulder?" Maddie gasped as she noticed the deep wound in Danny's torso.

"Someone decided to give me a hands-on lesson in knife-throwing," her son replied dryly.

" 'Twasn't necessary," the Captain said, clearly not understanding the joke. "I woulda taught ye, if'n ye'd only asked."

_**Statler: Quill outdoes himself with every chapter!**_

_**Waldorf: Why, because the jokes get funnier?**_

_**Statler: No, 'cause this story keeps getting worse!**_

"That reminds me," Danny added. "My friend here got banged up pretty badly in the fighting; I think the least we can do is offer him a place to rest until his injuries heal."

Jack's guarded expression softened as his eyes roved across the searing burns on the Captain's body. "Is the couch okay?" he asked.

"That'll do right well, I think."

"Great," the halfa said as his mouth widened in a cavernous yawn. "Now let's go home. I've been meaning to reacquaint myself with an old friend, Mr. Bed."

The Captain's thunderous peals of laughter could be heard a block away.

_Meanwhile…_

In an undisclosed location, the mysterious leader of the POH, his identity unknown even to his followers, slammed a white-knuckled fist down upon his desk. The impact made the cherry wood splinter as he watched his minions being rounded up by the police via the hidden camera he'd placed outside the Fentons' house. When the shadowy villain spoke, his voice was tight with anger, furious at the ghost boy on the screen before him.

"You may have thrown a monkey wrench into my plans, Daniel, but it's too little, too late. I will destroy you and everything you've worked so hard to build, and when your broken body breathes its last breath, the world will remember you as they do me!"

Vlad Plasmius smiled to himself as he sank back into his chair. "Ah, well. Tomorrow's another opportunity…a new day, a new plot."

His crazed laugh echoed through the base's empty halls.

A/N: I believe this would be the "OH, SNAP!" moment! XD I hope the action sequence was satisfactory…After all, we ALL know how hard it is to write one of those! ^^ But if you have any suggestions on how I can improve it, please drop me line and let me know. I'm ALWAYS eager to hear what I can do to make this story more enjoyable for all of you, for isn't the writer the servant of his readers?

Your friend and benefactor,

-Quill N. Inque


	12. Chapter 12

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 12: Fallout

Two things roused Danny Fenton from his exhausted slumber.

_**Statler: Is one of them the sticky patch on his PJs? HAHAHAHAHAA!**_

_**Waldorf: SOMEONE'S been dreaming about the goth girl!**_

The first one was pain. His body was sore and bruised from the riot the night before, and the knife wound in Danny's shoulder burned fiercely. The ghost boy groaned as consciousness returned to him, and with a considerable amount of effort sat up in his bed, pushing the covers aside.

The second thing that woke Danny was the Captain's ridiculously loud snoring. The halfa winced and covered his ears as he got ready to face the day.

_**Waldorf: Sounds like my house!**_

_**Statler: You snore like that?**_

_**Waldorf: No, my wife does!**_

Frankly, Danny wasn't sure whether defeating the POH last night was a victory or a defeat. One possibility was that the POH would lose heart after having so many members arrested, and dissolve over time. Then again, perhaps the way Danny had fought off the rioters and the news that he'd been assisted by a ghost, might reinforce the POH's fanatical beliefs and drive more people to follow them.

The Fenton boy sighed as he went down to breakfast, but his depressed mood vanished instantly when he saw his friends, Sam and Tucker, waiting there for him.

_**Statler(in a singsong voice): I smell a threesome!**_

_**Quill(angrily): Okay, I have to draw the line at **__**that**__**! It's offensive to me AND my readers!**_

_**Waldorf(throwing a piece of garbage): Watch us not care, you half-baked excuse for a writer! Hahahahaa!**_

_**Quill: *Sob***_

His girlfriend's eyes were a mask of worry and concern. "We heard about what happened last night. Are you okay?"

Danny grinned. "Well, I'm not dead, and I've got all my appendages attached, so I think I'll be fine once this heals," he said, nodding toward his bandaged chest, the bandages stained with oxidized blood.

_**Statler: Dammit…**_

"What about the Captain? Your sister told me he was seriously injured."

The halfa's eyes looked pained for a moment. "He wound up on the business end of an Ecto-Gun. He'll survive, but I don't' think he'll be fighting again anytime soon."

Tucker looked up from his PDA. "Well, now that we're here, at the risk of sounding clichéd, I've got good news and bad news."

"What is it?"

"Well, the good news is that the POH organization is essentially defunct. They lost almost all their local members when the cops showed up last night, and the City Council passed a law this morning banning them altogether. I think that, for the foreseeable future, we won't have to worry about them."

_**Waldorf: Well, it was fun while it lasted!**_

_**Statler: If you can call anything in **__**this**__** story fun!**_

Danny felt a wave of relief wash over him, but that comfort was lessened when he heard Tucker's next statement.

"The bad news is that no one, and I mean _no one_, has been able to identify whoever it was that founded the POH and provided them with weapons and funding. Whoever he is, he's an expert at covering his tracks; the GIW, the FBI, _and_ the Amity Police are _all _teaming up to search for him, but so far…nothing."

_**Statler: Well, there may be hope for this tale yet!**_

_**Waldorf: Oh, I wouldn't go THAT far…**_

"I think you might be interested to see what's been all over the news this morning," Sam interjected with a sly smile as she turned the tiny kitchen television on.

Danny started in his seat as he recognized the voice of the President of the United States, who, it seemed, had a few things to say about last night's calamity.

"...The POH preached a doctrine of intolerance and bigotry, and sought to turn this country against one of the greatest heroes our nation has ever known. Their baseless accusations of treachery and malice against this young man, who has given so much in his selfless service to mankind, is nothing short of one of the greatest injustices in human history. I had the privilege of meeting Danny Fenton a short time ago, and he is a hero in every sense of the word, bound by a sense of duty and responsibility that is hard to find in adults three times his age. The history of the United States is riddled with racism and hatred, and the horrid actions the POH took in their so-called "crusade" are merely another chapter in this shameful saga. My fellow Americans, we must not let our minds be clouded by prejudice…"

_**Waldorf: That's the last time I vote for HIM!**_

The ghost boy sat, stunned, as he continued to watch the President publicly defend him on international television. His friends, however, seemed delighted.

"Wow, Danny," Tucker snickered. "Talk about having friends in high places!"

"Think you could get him to let us ride on Air Force One?" Sam added gleefully as she joined in the good-natured teasing.

_**Statler: I'd love to do that!**_

_**Waldorf: I hear the flight attendants are GORGEOUS!**_

Danny rolled his eyes but said nothing as he sat down to one of Maddie Fenton's world-famous three-cheese omelets. As he did, the ghost boy surreptitiously grasped Sam's hand under the table, relieved that the POH hadn't gotten around to targeting her.

The hate group had never tried to disguise their loathing for Sam, and when the mob had attacked his home the previous evening, Danny had feared more for her life than his own.

To him, living in a world without Sam didn't even seem worth the effort.

She had become an inextricable part of Danny's life since getting his powers on that fateful day two years ago. When Danny looked back at how they had steadfastly denied their feelings for one another, he marveled at how foolish he'd been! What joy the ghost boy felt when he held Sam in his arms, how his heart beat faster at the mere sound of her name! No other feeling on Earth could compare to this happiness, so sweet and pure, that Danny felt only with her and with no one else! When he saw the tenderness in Sam's eyes, Danny knew, for the first time, what it was like to love and be loved in return. And he was sure that's what this extraordinary emotion was; not a crush, not a dalliance, but _love_.

_**Waldorf: Such devotion…such caring…**_

_**Statler: Makes you wanna toss your cookies, doesn't it? Hahahahaha!**_

Deep down, Danny knew that if she'd died at the hands of the POH, his heart, nay, his very _humanity_ would have died with her.

Tucker saw that look pass between his friends, and appropriately excused himself so they could have a moment to themselves.

Once the tecchie had left, Danny pulled Sam close to him and brushed away a few strands of hair before gently pressing his lips to hers.

She seemed to melt against him as Danny whispered, "I thought the POH were going to come after you last night."

"They did," Sam replied casually.

"WHAT?"

"Relax. They didn't even make it past the gate."

Danny's face slowly split into a smile. "You don't mean…"

"What, did you think those German Shepherds my folks keep are _just_ family pets?" his girlfriend replied, grinning wickedly as Danny burst into gales of laughter.

_**Statler: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **_

_**Waldorf: I wanna send the Dog Whisperer over there and see what happens!**_

But his merriment was cut short when the halfa realized that another voice was joining in the fun, and it was vaguely familiar.

Danny spun around, his ghost sense chilling his breath, but the specter kept up its invisibility and seemed to delight in his consternation.

"This is the greeting I get? Geez, Danny, I thought you'd be happy to see your own _cousin_," the ghost said as it entered the visible spectrum.

Danny's shock was mingled with relief as he beheld the small figure before him. She was almost like a younger, female version of himself, possessing his green eyes, white hair, and similar facial features. But it was the impish grin on her face that gave the girl's identity away.

"_Danni?"_

A/N: Here she is! I got a lot of comments and PMs asking for me to put Danny's clone into the story, and, frankly, they were right; I always found the (somewhat awkward) big brother/little sister relationship the two have endlessly amusing! So stay tuned, 'cause in the next chapter Danny Fenton's gonna go into protective overdrive as his fourteen-year-old "cousin" starts school and discovers the fascinating world of _boys_…

Until the next chapter, my friends.

-Quill N. Inque


	13. Chapter 13

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Ch 13: Danny and Dani

Danny tried to keep the pleasantly surprised expression from his face, but he couldn't quite pull it off. For one thing, Dani had gotten taller since they last met; she no longer had the preteen gawkiness that had become so familiar to him. Dani had also become quite pretty for her age, but whether she was aware of this was anyone's guess.

_**Statler: Hahahahahahaha! That is just WRONG on so many levels!**_

_**Waldorf: Seriously, a **__**clone**__**?**_

_**Statler: What a cliché!**_

"Where have you been?" Danny asked.

_**Waldorf: You don't wanna know, ghost kid!**_

His female counterpart waved a hand nonchalantly. "Oh, I've been around. After the Disasteroid incident, I thought I should go out and see the world, before something threatened to destroy it again. But after a few months abroad, I realized that maybe the best place for me would be here, with you." Dani's expression became somewhat nervous. "Um…Do you think your parents have room for one more?"

Her "cousin" grinned. "I'd say that's a strong possibility."

"Danny? Who's that?"

"Is this a new ghost friend of yours, son?"

_**Statler: Hey, Waldorf, are we friends?**_

_**Waldorf: Of course!**_

_**Quill: What about me?**_

_**Waldorf: You're kidding, right?**_

_**Staler: You're as much our friend as a slow-healing scab!**_

The ghost boy glanced over his shoulder to see Maddie and Fenton standing in hall outside the kitchen. "Mom, this is Dani…"

"With an 'I'," she interjected.

"…She's my, uh…cousin," Danny finished.

"Actually, I'm his clone," the other halfa said blithely as she ignored Danny's frantic gestures to cease talking. "Vlad created me from his DNA."

_**Waldorf: Wow, that's amazing!**_

_**Statler(smirking): But the question is, what'd he create the clone **__**for**__**?**_

_**Quill: You guys are DISGUSTING!**_

_**Waldorf: Flattery will get you absolutely nowhere!**_

Jack gritted his teeth and muttered something under his breath; he was still having trouble coping with his former friend's twisted transformation.

"I'll admit there is somewhat of a resemblance…" Maddie replied. "Vlad did this?"

"Yeah, and it's not the worst thing he's done. Not even close," Dani replied bitterly. "When I refused to be his pawn, he tried to kill me."

Mrs. Fenton's voice was gentle. "Well, Vlad Plasmius is currently on an extended vacation in outer space, and you're welcome stay here with us."

_**Statler: Oh, great!**_

_**Waldorf: Yet another two-bit character joins the untalented cast of a God-awful story written by a certifiable idiot!**_

"Yeah!" Mr. Fenton said in his typical exuberant fashion. "The more the merrier!"

"Of course, we'll have to enroll you in school…" Maddie murmured. "Our contracts with the federal government can easily cover the expenses, but we'll need some kind of cover story, as well..."

"School?" Dani said fearfully, the color draining from her face as Sam and Tucker howled with silent laughter.

_**Waldorf: I was scared too, when I started school.**_

_**Statler: Really?**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, but when I saw all the girls, it didn't seem so bad after all!**_

"Don't worry, kid," Tucker said jovially. "You'll get used to it once your brain has been jellified!"

"Tucker!" Danny said angrily. "Stop scaring her! It's not so bad, really," the halfa said as he tried to reassure his clone. "It just takes some getting used to."

Dani didn't seem at all convinced as Maddie dragged her out the door to the Fenton Ghost Assault Vehicle, bound for the local Wal-Mart to "pick up a few things".

_**Statler: My wife often goes out to "pick up a few things"!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, and then she has to use a forklift to get them in the house!**_

"She'll be fine," Sam commented as Danny watched her go.

"I know," her boyfriend replied. "It's just that…"

"What…_Ohhhh_," a knowing look grew on the goth's face as her lips parted in a smirk. "You're afraid that she'll start getting interested in _boys_…"

The halfa practically oozed over-protectiveness as his hand clenched. "If some guy starts sniffing around Dani, he'll have _me_ to deal with."

"You're not going to try to sabotage Dani's first _real_ relationship, are you?" Sam asked teasingly.

"No, of course not," he replied cheerfully. "If she starts dating someone, I'm going to take him down to the lab and brutally interrogate him until I'm convinced that he's a decent guy."

_**Waldorf: Sounds like my father-in-law!**_

"Which is never going to happen," Sam replied matter-of-factly.

"Nope."

_The next morning, Casper High, 8:00 a.m…._

Dani Fenton tried to contain her anxiety as a loud _ding_ heralded the start of yet another school day. Unbidden, a famous line forced its way into her head: _Ask not for whom the bell tolls…It tolls for thee!_

She shook her head vigorously. _Stop that! High School can't be that bad, right? Danny and his friends have survived it, after all…_

Dani's frustration grew as the location of her locker continued to elude her. This place seemed to go on forever; each hallway connected to four different ones. _It's amazing anyone knows where they're going!_

_**Statler: Yeah, I forget stuff, too!**_

_**Waldorf: Like your anniversary last year?**_

_**Statler(angrily): Don't keep bringing that up!**_

So absorbed was she in her quest that Dani collided head-on with another student, who, it seemed, was just as directionally challenged. The two freshmen went down in an ungainly heap, and it took a few seconds for Dani's vision to clear.

But the voice that spoke first was not her own, and it was filled with concern and worry, even a touch of guilt.

"I'm so sorry! Are you all right? I should've watched where I was going! You're not hurt, are you?"

Dani glanced up to see a young man, who looked to be about her age, standing over her.

Frankly, he wasn't very bad to look at; standing about 5'9', he was well-built but not ridiculously muscular, with a curious pair of gray-blue eyes. His face was clean and free of acne, and a pair of glasses perched on the bridge of his delicate nose. The young man's hair was an unremarkable shade of brown, and, like the rest of him, it was clean and well-cared for.

_**Waldorf(groaning): Not MORE romance! **_

He extended a hand to help her up, and Dani gratefully took it as she regained her footing.

"Sorry," the boy said again. "I should've watched where I was going…"

"Me too," Dani admitted. "Are you lost?"

"Yeah, I can't find the locker they assigned me."

The relief was evident in her voice. "And here I thought I was the only one who didn't know what she was doing."

_**Statler: She's not!**_

_**Waldorf: Quill doesn't know what he's doing, either!**_

The boy laughed heartily, with the air of one who enjoyed such things. "Welcome to my world," he said jovially. "I forget stuff all the time. I'm Chad, by the way," he added, extending his hand once more.

The ghost girl shook it firmly. "Dani."

"Maybe we can help each other out," Chad said. "What's your locker number?"

"Seven twenty-four."

"Oh, good; that should make this a lot easier."

"How's that?" Dani asked.

"Well, from what I've seen so far, the lockers are grouped by numerical order. Sixes in one hall, sevens in the other, you know? Mine is number seven thirty-one, so that means we're both looking for the same place."

"Which way, do you think?"

Chad looked around at the lockers on either side. "Well, this is the nines hallway, so I think we should head that way," he pointed down a particular corridor as he imitated a medieval knight's cultured tones. "We are off on a quest!"

Dani ran to catch up with him, laughing all the way.

A/N: Well, I don't mind tellin' you folks, I don't envy Chad…I can only imagine what Danny's gonna have to say about this! Don't you dare close this window, 'cause the next chapter will be up very soon!

I'm serious! DON'T DO IT!

Sincerely yours,

-Quill N. Inque


	14. Chapter 14

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 14: Meet the Fentons…

_Casper High Cafeteria, Noon._

Dani Fenton was hungry.

Normally, that would not have been surprising; teenagers, after all, are known for their ravenous appetites. But Dani, for some reason, was more famished than usual as she stood in line for her serving of pepperoni pizza; maybe all that mental exertion in class was taking its toll. However, filling her belly was the last thing on her mind.

_**Statler: I think I know what's on her mind…**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, and it's all rated "R"!**_

Right now, Dani's brain stubbornly kept going back to the friendship she'd struck up with Chad.

He was so…_nice_, with a great sense of humor and an almost Arthurian code of ethics. Not to mention easy on the eyes, with his neat appearance and sturdy build. Dani found herself scanning the tables in search of him, and her heart leapt when she spotted Chad sitting in an unobtrusive corner. The halfa hardly noticed the lunch lady load her tray as she made a beeline toward him.

Waldorf: My wife used to cook all the time!

_**Statler: Really? Why'd she stop?**_

_**Waldorf: The CDC couldn't take it anymore!**_

Chad looked up as Dani approached him, grinning hugely as his eyes danced. "Hey, whaddaya know? My day's looking better already!"

His friend snickered. "Flirt."

Chad stifled a laugh as he clapped a hand to his heart, his face twisting in mock anguish. "Why, Dani, your barbed words wound me to my very core! How can one so lovely be so heartless and cruel?"

_**Statler: Easily!**_

"You ever try going out for the Drama Club?" Dani asked.

"Yes," he replied cheerily. "And I got a case of stage fright so severe I nearly wet my pants. But enough about me; how's your day been?"

_**Waldorf: I wonder why Quill doesn't get nervous.**_

_**Statler: Probably 'cause he's writing under an assumed name!**_

"Oh, it's been fine, I guess. But…"

"But…" Chad said, encouraging her to finish.

"…I've only been here a day and I already hate algebra."

Her friend burst into laughter, and it was a few moments before he gathered himself enough to speak. "Don't fret, everyone else on the planet hates it too. Einstein himself once said, 'In real life, there is no such thing as algebra.'"

"So you're saying Mr. Cottonwood lied when he said we'd need this in real life?"

_**Waldorf: Of course!**_

_**Statler: Teachers are SUPPOSED to manipulate and deceive their students!**_

"Through his teeth," Chad said. "Never fear, though. I've always been rather adept at math, so if you like I'd be happy to give you some pointers."

_**Waldorf: Told you so!**_

"Really?" Dani said, her voice eager at the prospect of liberation from algebra's tyranny.

"Sure," he said, with an air of one who genuinely enjoyed helping others. "Just name the time and place."

_**Statler: How about in the janitor's closet? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!**_

"How about my house after school? It's not that far away, so we won't have to take the bus."

Chad nodded, flashing that grin Dani liked so much. "All right. But I'll need to give my mom a call first, so she knows where I am. She can be overprotective, sometimes, but Ma means well."

"I know the feeling," Dani replied fervently as she thought of her cousin. She opened her mouth to speak again, but was silenced by the worried look in her friend's eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Chad lowered his voice as he spoke, his gaze traveling toward the group of bigger, older boys starting toward their table. "I think King Mordred and his villainous knights have taken offense at us for something."

_**Statler: I always loved those stories! I cheered whenever I read them!**_

_**Waldorf: That doesn't count! You were cheering for the bad guys!**_

"What did we do? We haven't even spoken to them," Dani asked bewilderedly.

"Your guess is as good as mine. People like them will take any excuse to beat up on someone weaker."

_**Statler: 'Survival of the fittest' at work!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, I think Darwin developed those theories when he was in high school!**_

"Are you saying I'm weak?" Dani asked accusingly.

"God, no!" Chad said. "You're one of the strongest people I've met. It's me that I'm worried about," he murmured as the infamous Dash Baxter loomed over him.

_**Statler: With good reason, apparently!**_

_**Waldorf: C'mon, let's see if the boy will fit into a locker! HAHAHAHAHAA!**_

To Chad's credit, he kept his tone polite as he nodded cordially at Dash. "Is there a problem?"

"Yeah, for you, _freshman_," the bully snarled. "Star asked you out and you turned her down! No one does that to _my_ crew and gets away with it!"

"What?" Dani exclaimed, filled with outrage that someone had asked Chad on a date, but also with relief that he'd refused.

"I bet you can't give me one good reason why you turned her down!" Dash said angrily.

"How about one _thousand_?" Dani's friend said coldly as anger began to boil inside him. "Yeah, I turned her down, but I don't think that gives you the right to threaten me. I wasn't cruel or cutting to Star, and I made it clear that I'm already interested in someone else. Secondly, I have the _right _to choose who I spend my time with, and it won't be with any of the girls in your 'crew'. They debase themselves and their bodies with their carnal acts, rather than waiting to do such things within the loving bonds of husband and wife. I will _not_ dishonor myself or my family by doing the same. Now then," Chad said as he stood up. "I don't think we have anymore to say to each other. I'll see you after school, right Dani?"

_**Waldorf: FAIL!**_

_**Statler: I think the term nowadays is 'PWNED'!**_

"Of course!" she said, already looking forward to their tutoring session as her friend disappeared into the crowd.

As Dash and his cronies stalked away, the force of Chad's words hit Dani like a thunderbolt. "He said he was pursuing someone else…was Chad talking about _me_?"

_**Statler: Of course he was! Have you learned NOTHING?**_

_**Waldorf: Of course she hasn't! And Quill hasn't either…**_

_**Statler: 'Cause he keeps adding chapters to this literary atrocity!**_

_Later, after class, in the schoolyard of Casper High..._

Chad knew he shouldn't be anxious; he knew Dani would show up. Still, he found himself counting the minutes until her arrival.

The girl he had quite literally bumped into that morning was starting to consume his thoughts. Chad was starting to get butterflies in his stomach whenever he saw her, and, to be frank, Dani was the most interesting person he'd met in a long time.

_**Waldorf: Too…much…fluff…**_

_**Statler: All this romance would make even Shakespeare nauseated!**_

Chad started to mentally list all the things he liked about her: Dani was funny, smart… and very, very pretty, at least in his opinion. Now that he thought about it, she bore an almost uncanny resemblance to that famous ghost boy who went to school here…what was his name? Fenton, that was it. Danny Fenton. _It's probably just a coincidence, though,_ he thought to himself. _Fenton only has one sibling and I heard she graduated last year._

_**Waldorf: Keep tellin' yourself that! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

So absorbed was he in his thoughts that Chad failed to notice his friend sneaking up behind him.

"BOO!"

"GAAAAH!" Chad started with a yelp, but his angry expression vanished when he realized who had scared him. "Fine," he said with a smirk. "Two can play at this game. Have at ye!" he yelled, pulling a miniature squirt gun from his backpack.

_**Statler: Now THAT'S a wake-up call!**_

Dani laughed as she tried to shield her face from the thin streams of water. "Where did you get that?"

Chad slipped into his "knight-in-shining-armor" voice, laden with faux-outrage. "I keep it with me for just this sort of occasion, in case I am attacked by rogues and villains such as you!"

_**Waldorf: Not more of this chivalry crap…**_

His friend squealed as she tried to run, but Chad easily overtook her. "Do you yield, knave?" he roared, his smirk still in place.

"I yield, I yield," Dani panted between her giggles.

"And let that serve as a lesson to ye!" Chad growled, but his eyes were dancing as his friend punched him lightly in the arm.

"You are so corny."

_**Statler: She's talking to YOU, Quill!**_

"Thank you," he replied solemnly. "Where did you say your house was?"

"Oh, it's just around the corner," Dani said, pointing. "You can't miss it."

"It's only fitting for a damsel such as yourself to live in a castle," Chad said seriously.

"What is it with you and knights, anyway?" Dani asked curiously as they began to walk again.

Chad's eyes misted over. "My mother and father came over from Britain right before I was born, Dani. My father's family, the Seftons, go back all the way to the Middle Ages, where his ancestors served with distinction, fighting for king and country in famous battles like Tours-Poitiers, Agincourt, and Hattin. More than one Sefton was knighted on the battlefield for bravery and gallantry in combat, and I've always been fascinated with the legends of King Arthur and the Round Table; I want to prove that chivalry and decency have a place in today's world."

_**Waldorf: This kid needs to get his mind out of the Dark Ages!**_

_**Statler: Wake up and smell the mead, boy! Chivalry's WAY overrated!**_

"Wow…so they were knights?"

"Yup."

"That's so cool!" Dani exclaimed. "Here we are," she added. "This is my house."

The ghost girl opened the door and motioned him inside, practically dragging him into the sitting room, where several other teens, slightly older than Chad, were gathered. He vaguely recognized them, but couldn't put names to their faces.

That is, until Dani came downstairs with someone else in tow.

Chad's mouth dried instantly; he had seen that face on the news for months, he'd followed the news when he'd gone to Washington only a short time ago.

Dani was beaming as she pointed at her friend. "Chad, this is my cousin, Danny Fenton. Danny, this is my friend Chad."

Looking at the older boy, Chad felt the blood freeze in his veins.

The look with which Danny regarded him was anything but warm…

_**Statler: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! This kid's in for a reenactment of "Meet the Parents!"**_

_**Waldorf: And I thought MY in-laws were unbearable! That poor guy has NO IDEA what he's in for!**_

_**Statler: Imagine what'll happen when he figures out his little angel is part-ghost! **_

A/N: And here's number 14! Told you it wouldn't be long, didn't I? XD Next time: poor Chad is enlightened to Dani's true nature…but how will Danny react to his cousin's friend?

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	15. Chapter 15

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 15: Dani's Powers! The Secret's Out!

Chad stared at the world-famous Danny Phantom, unable to tear his eyes away from the halfa's piercing gaze. For a moment, he was going to ask for the hero's autograph, but the way Danny was glaring at him convinced Chad otherwise.

_**Statler: Ooooh…This is gonna be fun!**_

_**Waldorf: Well, that's a first for this story!**_

Unbeknownst to either of them, the two young men were thinking very similar thoughts.

_He's gonna kill me._

_I'm gonna KILL him._

After a moment of tense silence, Chad finally gathered the nerve to speak, even extending his hand in the customary gesture of welcome. "Dani said she lived with her cousin, but I didn't know that he was the famous Danny Phantom. It's an honor to meet you."

_**Waldorf: I think Danny would disagree with that!**_

_**Statler: I'll say! He looks about as happy to see Chad as I am to see my ex-wife!**_

The ghost boy gripped Chad's hand like a vise, almost eliciting a gasp of a pain from his lips. "Likewise," Danny said cheerfully, dropping his angry mask like a pair of socks. "C'mon downstairs, and I'll show you my parents' lab."

"Really? Awesome!" Chad replied enthusiastically, oblivious to Sam and Tucker's thinly disguised mirth.

_**Statler: HAHAHAHAHAHA! What a chump! The ghost kid's gonna knock the fire outta him!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, he's luring the boy to the basement 'cause there's no witnesses down there! **_

"Oh, yeah, they're working on all sorts of new inventions…" Danny's voice faded as they descended into the basement.

Once out of earshot, Sam howled with laughter. "That poor sap! Danny's gonna eat him alive!"

"There won't be enough left of him to scrape up in a Ziploc!" Tucker snorted.

_**Waldorf: That's assuming there's anything left AT ALL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

At the bottom of the staircase, Chad looked around in wonder at the expansive laboratory, the pride and joy of the Fentons. His fascination, however, turned to heart-stopping fright as his newest acquaintance suddenly turned on him, slipping into his ghost form and pinning the younger boy against the far wall in one swift movement.

_**Statler(chuckling with evil glee): Go on, ghost kid! Rip his lungs out!**_

_**Waldorf: YEAH! Let's see some blood!**_

"What the- What are you doing?" Chad couldn't keep the indignation out of his voice. Attacking unannounced was, after all, the strategy of cowards.

"Me? I'm merely making sure we understand each other," Danny replied reasonably. "I may be half-ghost, but I'm not blind, Chad; I am well aware that you have romantic inclinations toward her. Don't try to deny what we _both_ already know," he added as the younger boy's mouth opened in protest. "Dani deserves to be treated right, understand? If I find out that you haven't been toeing the line, _and I will_, you'll wake up in the Ghost Zone so fast you'll think you were in a freaking time warp! If I see you make one inappropriate gesture, one slip of the hand, one lustful glance at Dani, you're sunk! I've got my eye on you, and you'll never know when I'll be watching or listening! _Do I make myself clear?"_

_**Statler: Wow…that's hardcore.**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, just like the stuff on your computer!**_

_**Statler(furiously): SHUT UP, WALDORF!**_

Chad had difficulty finding his tongue. "Transparently," he whispered.

"Great!" Danny said, his cheerful mood returning with disturbing swiftness. "Now, if I were you, I'd head back up to the kitchen; I think Mom just took some cookies out of the oven, and they disappear quickly, especially when Sam's around!"

_**Waldorf: My wife makes cookies all the time!**_

_**Statler(derisively): You call them cookies, I call them hard tack!**_

The ghost boy started up the stairwell again, but just as he approached the threshold, Danny turned to his cousin's friend and pointed two fingers at his eyes, the classic gesture for "I'm watching you".

Chad couldn't help shuddering as he mounted the stairs.

While her cousin was delivering death threats, Dani was having a conversation of a decidedly different nature. Tucker had excused himself upon seeing the maternal look in Sam's eye, and now the two girls sat alone in the Fentons' living room while they discussed…certain topics, to put it tastefully.

"C'mon, Dani…It's not that hard of a question. Either you like Chad or you don't," Sam said matter-of-factly. "Frankly, I think you were pretty chummy with him, considering you only met him this morning."

"Sam!" the other girl exclaimed. "That's not true! We're just friends!"

_**Statler: Keep it up, you might actually convince somebody!**_

_**Waldorf: Denial is the first stage….**_

"Yeah, that's what Danny and I said for over two years," the goth said with a smirk. "And look how that turned out."

Dani blushed crimson. "I do _not_ have a crush on Chad," she said firmly.

_**Statler: Yeah, right! That's like Juliet saying she wasn't infatuated with Romeo!**_

_**Waldorf: I love that play! The ending is spectacular!**_

_**Statler: It **__**is **__**spectacular! Everyone dies!**_

"Is that what your heart says?" Sam replied. "There's no shame in admitting it; at least be honest with yourself. Besides," she added, her grin growing larger, "from what I've seen, there's a pretty good chance he feels the same way."

_**Waldorf: Uh, oh….**_

_**Statler: I'll bet she didn't see THAT one coming!**_

_**Waldorf: Crushes are all fun and games until you find out that the other person likes you back! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!**_

"WHAT?" Dani's face turned the color of an overripe beet.

"I saw the way Chad was looking at you," the older girl said. "You may not have realized it, Dani, but you're not exactly a kid anymore; I wouldn't be surprised if your friend isn't the only one who finds you attractive. My advice to you is this: One, don't rush into anything, okay? Time will tell if he's right for you. Two, don't lie to yourself about how you feel; I made that mistake once before, and I still regret it. Last, and most importantly, don't let Danny give him a hard time. The way he was looking at Chad makes _even me a bit scared."_

"Think about it," Sam finished as she left the room, leaving the newest Fenton alone with her thoughts.

_**Statler: I wish Quill would've thought about it before writing this stupid story!**_

Unfortunately, Dani's contemplation was interrupted when Chad sat down next to her, still shaken from his encounter with the ghost boy.

"Are you okay?" Dani asked, her blue eyes filled with worry.

"Your cousin just got through yelling at me," he replied, his voice trembling. "That was probably the most frightening experience of my entire life."

_**Waldorf: If you think THAT'S frightening, try being forced to commentate on this story!**_

_**Statler(sobbing): I'm starting to have nightmares…**_

_**Waldorf(holding him close): Shhh…It's okay. Go to your happy, place, Statler. **_

"Did he hurt you?"

Chad's voice grew smaller. "Not yet."

"That overbearing…" Dani's voice was cut off by her anger. "He had no right to threaten you like that! Where is he?" she snarled as two rings of light intersected her body.

_**Waldorf: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Someone's in for a beatdown!**_

_**Statler: Ghost kid versus ghost kid? This I've GOT to see!**_

Like her genetic donor when _he_ first got his powers, Dani was still having a degree of trouble reining in her ghostly abilities. Consequently, she was prone to slipping into her ghost form when beset by extreme emotions, such as anger, sadness, and joy. With practice Dani had been able to exert a degree of restraint; indeed, in fairness to her, the problem had lessened somewhat in the two years she'd spent traveling abroad. But such was the young woman's anger that her self-control slipped, unwittingly revealing her secret to Chad.

_**Waldorf: Oh, snap!**_

The boy in question watched in amazement as Dani completed her transformation; Chad's father had taken him on a trip to England last summer, and there he'd seen many wondrous things. But no experience he'd had so far could have prepared him for _this_. Chad's awe and surprise were almost immediately replaced by his unwavering curiosity as his voice brought Dani out of her fury.

"Wow," he said quietly. "I wish I could do that."

_**Statler: Me, too!**_

_**Waldorf: Then we could fly away and be rid of this awful story!**_

_**Statler(drooling): And we could sneak into the girls' locker room…**_

_**Quill: UGH! You guys are just…**__**sick**__**!**_

His friend whirled around, her anger evaporating as her face turned ashen. "Chad, I'm sorry, I meant to tell you- I mean, I was going to eventually, but I wanted to get to know you better first…I should have told you," she finished mournfully. "You deserved to know… "

Chad tried to keep calm. "Dani…"

"I knew it!" she cried, as tears slid down her face. "You are angry! You don't care about me as a person! You think I'm some kind of monster!" Dani's voice faded away as she broke down sobbing.

_**Waldorf: Well, THAT relationship didn't last long…**_

_**Statler: Yeah, it's not uncommon for these teen relationships to turn sour faster than milk on a hot day!**_

Her friend felt his heart lurch at Dani's distress; someone like her didn't deserve to feel such pain. Without a word Chad cautiously slid across the sofa to her, draping a comforting arm around her shoulders as he spoke softly.

"I'm not mad at you, Dani."

"Really?"

"No. It's your secret, after all; you have the right to choose who to trust with it. I'm your friend, Dani, whether you're ghost, human, or something in between. Frankly, I think it's really cool! I'd love to be able to fly and walk through walls!"

The hurt vanished from Dani's face. "Thanks, Chad. But I'm still gonna beat the crap out of my bonehead cousin," she added fiercely.

"Before you do, be fair and look at the situation from where he's standing," he replied. "You're his cousin, and I can tell he cares for you. So it's only natural for him to want to make sure that your friends are treating you right. Remember when I talked about my mom? She was the exact same way whenever I had friends over back in kindergarten. Although Danny's method of going about it was _way_ more drastic," he added wryly.

_**Statler: Well, I'll give him **__**that **__**one…**_

"I guess you're right," his friend replied. "What'd he say to you, anyway?"

Chad looked away, lest she see him blushing. "Nothing," he said quickly as he searched for an excuse to change the topic. "Who's that sleeping over there?"

"Eh?" The Captain asked groggily as he stood up shakily from his spot behind the Lay-Z-Boy. "What's goin' on? And who's the whelp, lass?"

_**Waldorf: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Chad just can't catch a break, can he?**_

_**Statler: I hope that wimpy little bastard soils his drawers!**_

_**Quill: That's not very nice…**_

_**Statler: What's your point?**_

"Oh, hi, Captain," Dani said cheerily. "This is Chad. I mentioned that he'd be coming over, remember?"

"That be true," the pirate said as he scrutinized her friend with his good eye. "Make sure ye treat 'er like a lady, mate. She deserves no less."

The Captain lay down again and resumed snoring without another word.

Chad's eyes widened. "Was that…"

"Yeah, he's a ghost, but he's one of the good guys. The Cap'n got banged up pretty badly while saving Danny's life, so Maddie and Ja- I mean, Mom and Dad figured granting him asylum was the least they could do."

"Why doesn't he just go back to the Ghost Zone? Isn't that where _all_ the ghosts live?"

Dani laughed. "Let's just say he's not very popular in there."

Chad shook his head, but a smirk crept across his face nonetheless. "You have weird relatives."

"Normal is boring," she replied.

Chad winked at her and launched into a decent pirate impression. "I'll drink to _that_."

_**Waldorf: God, can this story get any mushier?**_

_**Statler: Quiet, you old fool! You'll jinx us!**_

A/N: And here's chapter fifteen! To be perfectly honest, I have NO IDEA when this story's gonna end. ^^ But in the meantime, stay alert, 'cause in the next chapter Vlad makes another appearance! What diabolical scheme has he concocted now….?

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	16. Chapter 16

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 16: A Deadly New Foe! Enter MacFinn!

_**A/N: I regret to inform my readers that Statler and Waldorf have taken a sick day. Apparently, they've come down with a disease called "crappy-story-itis" , whatever that means. Anyway, they'll be back in the next chapter, so don't fret! ^^**_

Vlad Masters, the self-proclaimed arch-nemesis of Danny Phantom, fought to contain his excitement as his eyes roved over the man standing before him. He was taller than his employer, standing just over six feet tall, with a build that combined the strength of an NFL linebacker with the agility of an Olympic gymnast. He wore a casual black suit and white Oxford shirt, and carried a high-powered sniper rifle slung across his back. Looking closely, Vlad could also tell that he carried an assortment of concealed weaponry; knives and small pistols were very much in evidence.

But most disturbing of all were his eyes.

The flat gray orbs were filled with soulless calculation and callous selfishness. These were the eyes of a stone-cold killer, a man who could murder a three-year-old and sleep soundly afterwards.

Vlad shook with anticipation as he spoke. "You are the assassin MacFinn?"

"Aye."

"And are you as ruthless as the rumors say? Will you kill anyone for a price?"

"Mr. Masters, you would already be dead if someone had placed a bounty upon you. I've killed many people; they're all the same to me," MacFinn replied, his voice laced with a hint of Scottish brogue.

"Then I have a job for you," Vlad said as he gestured toward a briefcase on his desk.

The hitman opened the case, his eyes roving over the wealth it contained. "Who do you want me to kill?" he asked flatly.

Vlad took a photograph out of his pocket, and he almost shuddered as MacFinn's dead eyes stared at it, absorbing and memorizing every detail of his latest target.

The villain's tone became slightly husky, dripping with hatred and malice. "I want you to murder the spawn of the man who took Maddie from me. I want you to kill the upstart who cost me _everything_. I want you to kill…Danny Phantom!"

_The Nasty Burger, Amity Park, 4:00 p.m._

Danny's face lit up with enjoyment as he bit into the sumptuous comestible that gave the fast-food joint its name. On either side of him sat Sam and Tucker, his erstwhile companions, while his "cousin" Dani and her friend Chad were seated across from them. Danny had initially refused outright to allow Chad into the fold, but a stern talking-to (to put it mildly) from Dani had convinced him otherwise.

She had told him that, under no circumstances, would she allow him to "bully" Chad. At first Danny had denied such accusations, since all he wanted to do was ensure her safety. But, now that he thought about it, Danny grudgingly admitted to himself that his actions in the basement had been uncalled for. _I __guess __he seems okay,_ the halfa thought as he glanced at the younger boy. _Chad does seem to care for Dani, and he wasn't put off when he found out she was half-ghost, like me. But his "knight-in-shining armor" thing is just corny, in my opinion. Dani likes it, though, so I'll let it be…_

Tucker made a slurping sound as he finished off his Coke. "What now?"

"Huh?"

"Well, the POH organization has fallen, you've convinced Congress that ghosts aren't evil by nature, Vlad's sightseeing in the depths of space…Where do we go from here?"

"I…don't know," Danny answered honestly. "I guess we just pick up where we left off, defending Amity when we need to, you know? I think the worst of it is over."

Ironically enough, it was at this very moment that the ruthless MacFinn adjusted his aim through the scope of his rifle. The Scot was well aware of the boy's unique talents, and he'd done more than enough research to exploit his physical and psychological weaknesses.

With this in mind, he'd armed himself accordingly.

Gone was the suit and shirt he'd worn to his "business meeting". Now MacFinn was clad in a bodysuit made of titanium weave Kevlar, which he'd stolen on a whim after assassinating a European black ops commander. The matte black armor was strong enough to stop both bullets and knives, yet no lighter than a change of clothes. His feet were clad in custom-made combat boots; each shoe contained a retractable blade in its toe, which would burst forth with a metallic _shing_ when MacFinn tapped his heels together. In a bandoleer across his chest, the Scot carried a variety of gas and fragmentation grenades, and his menacing look was completed with large knives, which bristled from the assassin's belt as an AK-47 dangled loosely from his hand.

All in all, quite a fearsome foe to behold.

MacFinn glanced once more down the scope of his weapon, waiting for the perfect shot before pulling the trigger without any hesitation. Nanoseconds later, a window shattered as the crack of gunpowder echoed clearly through the warm spring air.

Panic erupted instantly, but MacFinn silently cursed his bad luck; in spite of million-to-one odds, the kid had chosen that moment to bend over and retrieve his spork.

"I guess I'll have to do this the old-fashioned way," he muttered to himself. The assassin deftly unhooked a grenade, and lobbed its tear-inducing contents into the Nasty Burger in preparation for his assault.

Meanwhile, pandemonium reigned inside the restaurant. Danny didn't know what the hell was going on; one moment he'd leaned over in his chair, then in the blink of an eye panic had ensued. He was surprised to find his four compatriots under the table with him.

"What's happening?"

Tucker looked shaken. "I think someone wants you dead. Again."

"Who is it this t—Do you smell something?"

Sam sniffed. "Yeah, something foul…" then she lost all vocalization as her eyes began to water.

"Tear gas!" Chad exclaimed. "Whoever this guy is, he's not playing around!"

Danny looked at him urgently as Tucker and Sam collapsed. "You and Dani get them to safety and call 911! GO!"

Chad and his friend nodded wordlessly, and Danny gritted his teeth as he slipped into his ghost form. "You bastard!" the halfa shouted furiously as he yelled his challenge. "Who are you? Show yourself!"

MacFinn complied, stepping into full view as he fingered the safety on his weapon.

The hitman's voice was a cold monotone. "Nothing personal, but I have to kill you."

"What are you talk-GAH!" Danny's outrage was cut off as the Scot closed the distance with eye-blurring speed, his meaty fist slamming home into the ghost boy's jaw.

Danny reeled from the blow as his mind raced. _This guy's got a punch like a sledgehammer! But who is he? I've never even seen him before!_

"Why are you doing this? Who the hell are you?" the Fenton boy demanded as he narrowly avoided a knife to the kidneys.

"None of your business," the other man replied in that same emotionless voice. "And it's MacFinn to you, boy."

Danny couldn't keep the horror from his voice. "You're…an assassin? Who hired you? Tell me NOW!" he roared as he swung a blow at MacFinn's face.

The Scot in question caught Danny's wrist without even blinking, breaking it with a fluidity borne of deadly practice. The halfa bit his lip to keep from screaming as tears squeezed out his eyes.

It's just as well that the pain blurred his vision, for such was his agony that Danny couldn't see the sidearm MacFinn leveled at his head.

"Too easy," the hitman said as his finger began to squeeze the trigger.

He never saw the black-and-white blur that barreled into him from behind, stunning him long enough for Dani Phantom to aid her cousin.

"Let's get out of here," she muttered as MacFinn began to extricate himself from the wreckage. "I hate to say it, Danny, but I don't think you can beat him here."

As his female counterpart bore him away, Danny craned his head and looked into MacFinn's dead eyes.

Then his body sagged as the merciful darkness of unconsciousness claimed him.

Hours later in the living room of Fentonworks, , the jarring pain in Danny Fenton's arm brought him back to wakefulness. As soon as the halfa opened his eyes, he found Dani, Chad, Tucker and Sam gazing at him with concern. Or loving concern, in Sam's case.

The ghost boy looked at his wounded appendage, silently cursing that son-of-a-bitch MacFinn as Sam began to speak.

"Your mom managed to set the bone while you were blacked out," she said. "Normally it'd take about six weeks to heal, but your ghost powers should cut that time in half."

"Who was that guy?" Chad asked. "And why was he gunning for you?"

"He called himself 'MacFinn'," Danny said grimly. "And from what I saw, he's a dangerous man."

"Wait," Tucker said as the color drained from his face. "Did you say, 'MacFinn'?"

"Yeah…I think he might be a hired gun."

Tucker gave a low whistle. "God, I hope not."

"Why?" Sam asked, overcome with curiosity in spite of herself.

"Because THAT MacFinn is a living _nightmare_," her friend replied softly. "Quintus MacFinn is the most dangerous assassin on the entire planet, the mastermind behind countless political assassinations and bombings, an emotionless killer who sells his services to all kinds of rogues! That guy's worked for the KGB, the CIA, the insurgents in Darfur, the British Secret Service _and_ the Taliban, among others. He's a certified master in over a dozen martial arts, an expert swordsman and a crack shot with any firearm you'd care to name. MacFinn's got a lot of tech, too, Danny, serious tech that rivals even your parents' gizmos, mostly experimental stuff that he's picked up along the way. And he's so good at his job, so quick and clean, that Interpol isn't completely convinced MacFinn even exists! I gotta say Danny; whoever wants to put you six feet under has pulled out all the stops. And, now that I think about it, you're probably the first person to _ever_ escape MacFinn. That's gonna be a serious blow to his professional pride, so be careful the next time you encounter him. But I'd wait till that arm heals first," Tucker finished.

"Sounds like a black-hearted villain if e'er I saw one," the Captain said from his chair. "But ye're in no condition t'fight, mate. It'd probably be best if ye laid low fer a bit."

"You probably shouldn't go outside the house for a while," Sam commented.

"And I'd stay away from the windows, too," added Chad.

Danny's green eyes glowed with anger. "You're both right, but I still feel helpless. MacFinn's still out there, and he put all those people in danger just to have a shot at me. As soon as my wrist heals, _I'm going to bring him down_."

A/N: Uh, oh…But admit it, hiring someone like MacFinn is JUST the sort of thing Vlad would do: no sense getting his hands dirty when he can hire someone else to do it for him! ^^

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	17. Chapter 17

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 17: Hunter and Hunted! MacFinn's Diabolical Plot!

_**Statler: We're back…**_

_**Waldorf: Despite our best efforts!**_

_**Quill: C'mon, guys…I bet if you just relaxed, you might actually enjoy this.**_

_**Statler: That's what she said! HAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

_**Waldorf(slapping a high-five with Statler): Nice one!**_

_An undisclosed location…._

Quintus MacFinn was seething with anger, which was unusual for him.

The Scot almost never let his emotions interfere with fulfilling a contract; anger impeded judgment, and hesitation to pull the trigger led to disaster. It was for this reason that MacFinn had created his cold and emotionless personality.

_**Statler: An assassin, hmm?**_

_**Waldorf(holding up a picture of Quill): Hey, buddy! I have a job for you!**_

Still and all, he found himself furious, almost unable to believe that this…boy had been able to wriggle out of his grasp. For Pete's sake, MacFinn had a reputation to uphold! None of his previous (and numerous) targets had ever escaped with their lives! So how was this kid able to do what countless others could not?

_**Waldorf: How embarrassing…**_

_**Statler: Not as embarrassing as being in this story!**_

MacFinn stopped himself in the middle of his mental rant, and took some deep breaths. The boy had to have a weakness, something he could exploit to his advantage, an Achilles Heel that would box the ghost kid in. The assassin strode across to his computer and, after going to the "Google" website, ran a quick search on Danny Fenton. As he did so, MacFinn silently kicked himself. He'd grown complacent and sloppy; he should've done this research _before_ attacking the Nasty Burger.

_**Statler: I knew it! It doesn't matter what age you are…**_

_**Waldorf: You still don't want to do your homework! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

The glare of the screen reflected off the hitman's glasses as he effortlessly hacked into the FBI's database, absorbing tidbits of information: Danny Fenton, 16 years old, currently a sophomore at Casper High, world-renowned ghost hunter and, apparently, in a very close relationship with the black-haired girl MacFinn had seen at the restaurant; The son of Jack and Maddie Fenton, also ghost hunters by trade, and one older sister, Jazz, who was away at college…

_**Statler: The question is, HOW close?**_

MacFinn steepled his fingers over the keyboard as he digested these facts, the wheels in his mind turning like a coldly efficient machine. He briefly considered attacking Fentonworks, but just as quickly trashed the idea; prior to his first attack, he'd staked out the boy's home for days; MacFinn knew without a doubt that it was heavily defended, and the Ops Center on the roof could function as an escape vehicle. No, he'd have to find some way to lure Fenton out of hiding, but how…?

_**Waldorf: This guy seems like a badass!**_

_**Quill: Like me?**_

_**Statler(snorting in derision): Yeah, right!**_

_**Waldorf: You're about as tough as a melted marshmallow! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

_**Statler: Run home to Mommy, you wuss!**_

_**Quill: *Cries***_

The assassin's dead gaze swiveled back to the screen, settling on a picture of the boy's girlfriend as a barely noticeable smile split MacFinn's face.

"Perfect…"

_The Manson Estate, much later…_

Sam anxiously checked her watch as she lounged about in the mansion's elaborate doorway. The goth had been looking forward to this night for months; tonight, she and her boyfriend were going to treat themselves to a nice dinner, free from the distractions of fans, ghosts, and gossip-mongering media. The steel toe of her combat boots tapped impatiently as she scanned the sky for Danny's arrival.

A rustle in the rhododendrons caught her attention; Danny was obviously playing some kind of joke.

"Have you been in there this whole time?" Sam asked aloud with mock anger as she approached the bushes.

A black-gloved hand shot out abruptly, clapping over Sam's mouth and muting her scream as the young woman felt a swift pinprick in her thigh. The young woman's vision began to swim, and unconsciousness claimed her within seconds.

MacFinn tossed away the empty syringe before gathering up his victim's unresponsive form, vanishing into the night like smoke on the wind.

_**Statler: Going after the target's loved ones? Classic!**_

_**Waldorf: Some evil plots NEVER go out of style!**_

_Minutes later…._

Danny Phantom landed softly on the Manson's lawn as he looked about for his girlfriend. "That's weird," he muttered to himself. "She said she'd wait for me to pick her up…Maybe I should call her."

_**Statler: Go ahead, but don't expect her to pick up!**_

As if on cue, the ghost boy's cell phone began to ring. Relief surged through Danny as he flipped the device open: surely that would be Sam on the other line.

"Hello?"

"Greetings, lad," the man on the other end replied.

_**Waldorf: Uh, oh…**_

Danny stiffened…_That voice…._

"By now you've probably noticed that your significant other won't be in attendance tonight," MacFinn continued as the halfa's face paled.

_Sam…Oh, my God…_

"You son of a bitch!" Danny snarled. "What have you done with her? She's not part of this; it's me you want!"

"Precisely," the hitman replied in his unearthly monotone. "Here's the deal, boy. You will meet me at a time and place of my choosing, and there you'll have to make a choice: Your life or hers. You can either choose to die, or she will die in your place. And let me make myself clear: if you bring any assistance, any law enforcement, or allies of any kind, if you inform another living person of our arrangement… I will kill her, Danny Phantom, and I'll make you watch."

_**Statler: Wow...I gotta give MacFinn his due: this plan is just BRUTAL!**_

_**Waldorf: Tell me about it! That ghost kid's caught between a rock and a hard place!**_

Danny fought to keep his voice from shaking. "If I give myself up, how do I know you won't kill her anyway?"

MacFinn almost laughed. Almost."I may be an assassin, boy, but I honor my contracts."

The halfa's breath came to him in short gasps. "Fine."

"Excellent," his foe replied, just before the line went dead.

Danny dropped his phone as though it were a handful of plague virus, tears blurring his eyesight as his resolve hardened.

_**Waldorf: This story is FAR worse than the plague!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, at least in the end the plague will kill you…**_

_**Waldorf: …But no such luck here!**_

_If I have to die for Sam to live, so be it,_ he thought. _I would die for her a thousand times before I let any harm come to her._

But Danny's grief soon turned to smoldering anger, and his green eyes flashed red with homicidal fury. Gone was his restraint and self-control. Gone was Danny Phantom's careful sanctity of life. Now, all the halfa wanted was the pleasure of ending his enemy's life, to exact revenge on the one who had _dared _threaten Sam. Anger unlike any he'd known welled up in Danny's chest, thoughts of vengeance consumed him as he roared his sadness and anger to the stars. _You'll pay for this, MacFinn, even if it takes my last breath…_

Danny's green orbs narrowed into icy slits. _Before this is over, I'm going to kill you._

_**Statler: YEAH! Now the ghost kid's FINALLY beginning to grow a pair!**_

_**Waldorf: If we're really lucky we might get to see them kill **__**each other**__**!**_

A/N: I know what you're thinking: It's a brutal cliffhanger, and I'm an evil, cruel, wicked person for leaving you in suspense like that. Well, you know what? YOU'RE RIGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Coming up in Chapter 18: Will Danny be able to save his girlfriend and himself? Or will MacFinn succeed in his nefarious mission? To find out, stay tuned!

Ain't I a stinker?

-Quill N. Inque


	18. Chapter 18

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 18: Death Match

Inside the familiar brick structure known the world over as Fentonworks, Danny's friends and family gathered anxiously in the living room for what the hero had grimly called "a council of war".

_**Statler: Well, I guess that's pretty self-explanatory!**_

_**Waldorf: If only Quill's writing was so easy to understand…**_

Clearly, all was NOT right in the world. And Danny's hard expression only confirmed the direness of the situation as he slumped upon the couch.

The halfa seemed to have aged forty years in the space of two hours. Worry and anguish made his face haggard, and the heavy bags under Danny's blue eyes silently attested to his lack of sleep. His hair, like the rest of him, was uncared for and disheveled. Only an emergency of the gravest proportions could have reduced him to such a state.

_**Waldorf: Wow, the ghost kid really DOES look like crap!**_

_**Statler: Just like this stupid story! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

Granted, having everyone around to comfort him gave Danny a small measure of relief; Tucker, Danni, Chad, his parents, even the Captain (who had by now completely recovered from his injuries) were all looking at him with loving concern.

The resident tecchie was the first to break the thick silence. "What's wrong?"

Danny seemed to be on the verge of tears. "It's Sam…"

"Aye, lad, what of 'er?" inquired the Captain.

The hero's voice was barely more than a whisper. "MacFinn took her."

_**Statler: Uh, oh…**_

_**Waldorf: It ALWAYS gets ugly when there's a woman involved!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, just like my last divorce!**_

The stunned silence that followed spoke volumes as Danny kept talking. "He's holding Sam hostage, and says that if I don't give myself up, she'll die."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Jack exclaimed. "Let's go save her!"

"It's not that simple," Danny replied. "If anyone accompanies me, MacFinn'll murder Sam anyway. If I go alone, at least one of us will live."

_**Waldorf: Well, I suppose killing one out of two isn't THAT bad…**_

_**Statler: Yeah, either way someone's gonna end up making their excuses to St. Peter! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"He'd do that?" Maddie whispered, shocked that such wickedness actually existed.

_**Waldorf: Are you kidding? I've done a lot worse for a lot less!**_

_**Quill: What are you talking about?**_

_**Waldorf(nervously): Nothing!**_

"I think his exact words were, 'If I see you with another living person, I'll kill her slowly, and I'll make you watch,'" her son replied.

"But you'll die!" Danni exclaimed. "Doesn't that worry you at _all_?"

_**Statler: Depends on who you're asking, kid!**_

"Yes," he admitted. "But that's a price I'm willing to pay, if it meant guaranteeing her safety. And you've grown strong, Danni," her namesake replied with a sad smile. "If anyone's able to take my place as Amity's hero, it's you."

Chad, silent until now, spoke up suddenly. "How do you know MacFinn will keep his word?"

Tucker answered that for him. "From what little I've been able to dredge up on the man, I think he will. MacFinn's a stone-cold killer, sure, but he's also scrupulous about honoring his word. That's what gave him such success a hired gun: his employers know that he won't turn against them when offered a better deal. It makes MacFinn confusing as well: an assassin who keeps his word? Doesn't make much sense, when you get right down to it…"

_**Waldorf: Quill doesn't make much sense, either!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, anyone who'd keep adding chapters to THIS story must be dumb as a post!**_

"But that still leaves the dilemma of Danny's imminent death," Jack replied.

_**Statler: 'Dilemma'?**_

_**Waldorf(snickering): I wouldn't go THAT far…**_

"Beggin' yer pardon, sir," the Captain interjected. "I'm not sure I've earned the right t'speak in this here meetin', but I believe I be havin' a suggestion to Danny's problem."

"And that would be?" Tucker asked, hope gleaming in his eyes.

"Well, unless'n these old ears're playin' tricks, MacFinn said 'e'd kill th'lady if'n he saw another livin' person with ye."

"Yes, he did," Danny said, his tone encouraging the ghost to continue.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Maddie asked in confusion.

"Ma'am, ye got to think about it from a legal standpoint," the Captain replied patiently. "I had more'n a few run-ins wid th'law in my day, goodness knows. Now, consider this: MacFinn swore t'kill Danny's girlfriend if'n another _livin'_ person showed up with 'im. But I'm not a _livin_' person, am I? Technically speakin', if I go with ye to help fight this rogue, ye'll still be wi'in th'terms of yer agreement. And if'n this fellow's as bound to 'is word as yer friend says, MacFin'll be honor-bound t'waive 'is death threat on Sam. Once that happens, ye can fight MacFinn on yer terms, Danny, and thus gain th'field advantage.

"I believe the term nowadays is a 'legal loophole'," the ghost finished. "Sam stays amongst th'livin', an' ye'll still get th' pleasure of kickin' MacFinn's sorry arse."

_**Statler: The pirate should get a job as a lawyer!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah! He's a dedicated drinker, a gambler AND a compulsive womanizer…He'd fit right in! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"Wow," Tucker said. "That's…actually a really good plan. Where'd you come up with all this?"

The pirate waved a hand modestly. "Chad left a copy o' The Art of War layin' around a while back. I didn't have much else to do, bein' bedridden an' all, so I took a glance at it. Good readin' it was, too…"

"You can read?" Danni asked. "I thought pirates were illiterate."

The Captain glowered at her. "Don' believe everythin' Hollywood tells ye, lass."

Danny cut him off. "I think this plan could work, and more importantly, it's the only one we've got."

_**Statler: Doesn't give you much of a choice, does it?**_

"But you're in no shape to fight, remember?" Jack reminded him. "Your wrist is still injured."

His son looked morosely at the injury in question. "It's a risk I'll have to take."

_**Waldorf: Famous last words!**_

"Do you even know where MacFinn is?" Maddie asked. "From what I hear, I doubt you could find him if he _wants_ to be found."

"He said he'd contact me when the exchange is ready," Danny said, at the very moment his cell phone began to buzz.

"Speak of the devil," the halfa muttered as he picked up. "Hello?"

_**Waldorf: …And he shall appear!**_

_**Quill: What's going on?**_

_**Waldorf: I rest my case.**_

"I trust ye've taken some time to settle the rest of your Earthly affairs," MacFinn said cordially, as if he was merely inviting someone over to dinner. "Meet me at the old DALV warehouse near the highway in exactly sixty minutes. Come unarmed, and remember what I said about uninvited guests…"

Danny's voice shook. "Understood," he replied, but MacFinn had already hung up.

"Was that him?" the Captain asked as the hero slipped into his ghost form.

"Yeah, he's holding Sam at an abandoned warehouse in the harbor. Follow me; I know where it is."

The Captain's pale features twisted into a grin, identical to the one he'd worn when fighting the POH.

"Well, then let's go say 'ello…"

_The old DALVE storage facility, Downtown Amity, fifty-eight minutes later…._

Sam surreptitiously tested strength of the plastic ties binding her hands and feet. There were two reasons for this: One, because such information could come in handy later, and two, because it distracted her from crying.

_**Waldorf: Oh, enough with the soppy romances, already! Geez!**_

_**Statler: *Censored***_

She knew damn well what the situation was. Danny was going to sacrifice himself for her. Even now, he was willingly flying toward his death, willing to die for _her_.

Sam clenched her teeth to keep from sobbing as despair washed over her. MacFinn was going to kill him, like he'd killed so many others, and there was nothing Sam could do to stop it; she would be forced to watch this evil man end her beloved's life.

_**Statler: Great! If the ghost kid dies, then we'll be off the hook!**_

_**Quill: Oh, please. As if I'd kill off the main character!**_

_**Waldorf: Dammit…**_

_Danny's going to die. _

As if on cue, her boyfriend exploded through the skylight above, with the Captain close behind.

MacFinn's features bordered on outrage as he held a knife to Sam's throat. "We had a deal, boy! You agreed to come alone, and didn't. Now the girl will pay the price for your treachery!"

"Not so," Danny replied. "I agreed not to bring another living person along. The Captain, obviously, is not. I haven't broken our deal, MacFinn, and therefore, neither can you."

The assassin nodded at him and put the blade away. "Very clever, I'll admit, but you can't get out of this. You're still going to die, boy, and you won't do a thing to stop me."

"Wrong again, dirtbag," Danny smirked. "Since Sam is no longer at risk, I don't have to just stand by and let you kill me." The halfa settled into a fighting stance. "If you want me dead, you'll have to do it the old-fashioned way."

_**Statler: The ghost kid really did his homework!**_

_**Waldorf: Too bad Quill keeps writing this story instead of doing his!**_

_**Quill: That is NOT true!**_

_**Statler(shaking his head sadly): Denial is the first stage…**_

"You think you can beat me?" MacFinn asked incredulously. "Do you not remember our last physical encounter?"

"Painfully," Danny replied. "But damned if I'm just gonna lay down and die. Not without a fight."

A ghost of a smile crept over the Scot's face as grenades, knives, and pistols clattered to the floor. "Pity," he said casually. "At least with my method of execution you wouldn't have suffered. Even so, two against one hardly seems fair."

"If anyone on God's green Earth is deserves an unfair fight, it's _you_, MacFinn," the halfa snarled back as the Captain drew his sword.

_**Waldorf: Well, I'll agree with the ghost kid on that one…**_

The three combatants eyed each other warily for a few seconds.

Then all Hell broke loose.

The Captain lunged with his cutlass, intending on cleaving his foe in two, but MacFinn neatly sidestepped and hit the ghost in the belly. The pirate, conditioned from a lifetime of discomfort at sea, ignored the gut-wrenching pain as his sword slashed across the hitman's arm, flaying it open to the bone as blood spattered the dusty floor.

_**Statler: FINALLY! YEAH!**_

_**Waldorf: Took you long enough, Quill! Let's see some ass-kicking!**_

MacFinn stared at his arm, stunned, and Danny used the Scot's distraction to launch an offensive of his own. The halfa's white-gloved fist hit MacFinn's jaw with a loud smack, and Danny felt his heart surge with dark satisfaction. MacFinn recovered quickly, however and Danny's arm went numb with pain as he landed another punishing blow on his enemy. With all the grace of an enraged bull, the assassin swung a wild haymaker, missing Danny-

-But striking the Captain instead.

_**Waldorf(wincing): Ouch…**_

The force of the blow turned the old seadog airborne, and his body sent a spider-web of cracks along the concrete as he crashed into the wall.

Danny's eyes turned a furious red as his vengefulness went into overdrive. He ducked under a punch to the face, causing MacFinn to overextend his reach. Seizing his enemy's wounded appendage, Danny grasped the elbow and pushed upward with all the force he could muster.

The sound of MacFinn's arm breaking echoed through the musty building, but Danny didn't need the sound effects; the villain's arm had been cut so deeply by the Captain's blade that he was able to see the bone snap.

_**Statler(grinning evilly): NOW things are getting interesting…**_

MacFinn's features contorted and he made a gasping whine, but there was no mercy in Danny's normally virtuous heart. A roundhouse to his face loosened several of the hitman's teeth, and Danny's rabbit punch to the solar plexus sent waves of pain through his system.

Payback, as they say, is a bitch.

_**Waldorf(muttering): So was my wife…**_

The once-vaunted killer was forced to knees as Danny gripped his wrist tighter and tighter, his illusion of invincibility shattered to infinitesimal pieces.

MacFinn finally found his voice. "Please…"

Danny's voice was thick with loathing and tinged with malice, deeper and darker, and holding not an ounce of pity.

"Coward! How many people, I wonder, have begged for their lives from the position you're in now? How does it feel to be on the other side of the fence, MacFinn? Does it frighten you to look death in the face, the way all your victims have? The way SAM HAS? HOW DARE YOU RAISE A HAND TO HER? HOW DARE YOU TREAT HER THIS WAY?" Danny grabbed the assassin's neck, hoisting him off the floor as his voice calmed. "I'm going to kill you."

The statement itself was chilling, but most disturbing was the manner in which the hero said it. It wasn't a threat, or a promise, or a dramatization.

Just a simple, undeniable, irrefutable fact.

_**Statler: Now THAT'S badass! It's almost like that famous line in that movie, "The Patriot"!**_

_**Waldorf: But WAY better! Mel Gibson, eat your heart out!**_

Sam was horrified, at her boyfriend's sudden change in demeanor. She wanted to deny it, but deep down she intuitively knew that Danny Fenton had left the building. Standing before her now was a part of him that he'd sworn to lock away forever.

A future he'd vowed never to become.

_He's actually going to do it,_ Sam thought disbelievingly. _I can't let him murder MacFinn, no matter how much that bastard deserves it. If he dies, everything Danny's worked for will be undone, and he'll only be proving himself wrong. This has to stop!_

A movement behind her caused Sam to snap her head around, but the Captain smiled reassuringly as he approached.

"Fear not, lass, 'tis only me," he said as the thin blade of a dagger sliced through Sam's bonds.

No sooner were her hands and feet released than Sam sprang upright, just as Danny prepared to finish off MacFinn with an ecto-blast at point-blank range.

"DANNY! NO!"

"Sam?" The red pupils in his eyes briefly flickered green.

"Don't do this," his girlfriend said as calmly as she could. "Don't. If you kill MacFinn, you'll be hurting yourself most of all. You'll be proving the POH right, confirming to the world that you're a killer. You'll be brought to trial, convicted, and probably given as a lab rat to the GIW. If you take MacFinn's life, then you're no better than he is."

_**Waldorf: SON OF A-**_

_**Statler: QUILL, YOU *******!**_

_**Waldorf: What a rip-off!**_

Danny abruptly released the wounded man as he felt the impact of Sam's words. "Fine," he said as MacFinn slid to the floor. "I guess I'll leave him for Amity's finest. But before I do, I have one last question," he added, addressing his now-defeated enemy. "Who hired you? Tell me, and maybe the jury will spare you the death penalty."

MacFinn tried to laugh, but his injuries prevented it. "In my line of work, we have only one rule, laddie: client confidentiality. But since it seems that I have nothing left to lose, I will tell you the name of my employer."

"Well?" Sam demanded. "Spill it!"

The assassin managed to smile before he passed out. "The man who hired me… was Vlad Plasmius."

A/N: Whew, that was a LONG chapter! I hope you all enjoyed reading it! On a more somber not, I feel that you, the readers, have the right to know that I will be moving to a new place of residence VERY shortly; suffice to say, I might not be able to update as frequently as I would like. However, I will pledge to have at least one update a week, and once I get settled in things will probably go back to normal. I sincerely apologize for any such delays, and I implore you to be patient.

After all, good things come to those who wait…. ^^

As yet the readers' servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	19. Chapter 19

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 19: A Foreboding Peace! Prelude to WAR! (And things heat up with Dani and Chad…)

_Fentonworks, the following morning…_

In the sanctuary of his room, Danny Fenton sat wearily on his bed as he ran his gloved hands through his raven hair. Over and over, MacFinn's words played out in his mind.

"_The man who hired me…was Vlad Plasmius."_

Danny's first instinct was to assume that the assassin was lying through his teeth and disregard the statement entirely. But now that he thought about it, Vlad did seem the likely culprit for the recent dramatic events in his life. Tucker had, after all, mentioned that whoever was funding the now-defunct POH had to have a considerable amount of money, and only Vlad could have eluded such an awesome law-enforcement coalition so easily. Then of course, there was MacFinn. A world-class hitman of his caliber certainly didn't come cheap, and Vlad was one of the few people Danny could think of who possessed both the money and the motive to hire him.

_**Statler: I renounce my religion!**_

_**Waldorf: Me too! If there was a God, He'd put us out of our misery!**_

Danny gritted his teeth. Vlad had been one of his most erstwhile and bitter enemies; before the Disasteroid incident, everyone had thought of Vlad as the suave, debonair and sophisticated billionaire mayor of Amity Park. But inside, Danny knew, his nemesis was diabolically twisted, cunning, manipulative, and consumed with malice and hate for all who bore the surname of Fenton.

_**Waldorf: An evil half-ghost? That doesn't sound so bad…**_

_**Statler: No, but this story does!**_

Fortunately, Plasmius' plot to use the Disasteroid to gain world domination had failed, largely due to the fact that the comet was made of pure Ectoranium. And Danny's father, finally seeing Vlad for what he was, had left the villain stranded in the vastness of space.

_**Statler: FAIL!**_

_**Waldorf: That's COLD!**_

And there he remained, or so Danny thought. But as much as he hated to admit it, the facts did point to Vlad as a likely culprit. Lie or not, the possibility of his enemy's return was something Danny simply couldn't ignore. If anyone could bring out his dark side, it was Plasmius.

Danny shuddered. He'd come so close to killing MacFinn, so close to the brink of oblivion, that even now the memory sent chills down his spine. Danny recalled how he'd enjoyed the stark terror in MacFinn's eyes as he saw death approaching, how he'd reveled in the delicious stink of his blood-chilling fear. Despite what he told his friends, Danny knew, deep down, that he would have _enjoyed _killing MacFinn; he would have _loved _killing him, snuffing out his life like a candle and ripping him to pieces. Danny would have gone through with it, too, if Sam hadn't intervened.

_**Waldorf: Of course, we didn't get to see that!**_

_**Statler: 'Cause Quill's a p****!**_

_**Quill: Hey! Watch your language! There could be children reading this story!**_

_**Statler: If that's the case, then they've all been traumatized!**_

_**Waldorf: Scarred for life by your terrible writing!**_

And, on top of everything else, today was a school day.

_Life isn't fair,_ Danny thought somberly as he snatched his backpack off the floor. Two familiar rings of light passed over his body, and the famous hero phased through the roof, heading toward yet another grinding day at Casper High.

_**Statler: Of COURSE life isn't fair!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, did we AGREE to be here?**_

_**Quill: Actually, you did…**_

_**Statler: Shut up.**_

Danny's beloved Amity Park passed below him, its buildings growing smaller as he gained altitude. Flying was, by far, Danny's favorite power; he always enjoyed the exhilaration and excitement of flight, always eager to see if he could go faster and higher.

_**Statler: I always enjoyed flying when I was a kid!**_

_**Waldorf: Really?**_

_**Statler: Yeah, I was WWII bombardier! The explosions were GREAT!**_

_**Quill: That's just…awful.**_

Needless to say, such enjoyment ended all too quickly as the telltale structure of Casper High hove into view. Danny's enhanced vision quickly picked out Sam and Tucker in the crowd, and he landed abruptly, transforming as his feet touched the earth.

"Any sign of Paulina?" Danny asked worriedly.

_**Waldorf(praying): Please, please, please…**_

"Not that I know of," Sam replied. "I'd bet anything she and the others are in some kind of underground chamber, performing some kind of cultish ritual."

_**Waldorf: Dammit….**_

Tucker laughed. "If that's true, it wouldn't surprise me," he said. Then his voice lowered. "Do you really think Vlad's returned?"

"I'm not sure," Danny admitted. "But knowing Vlad, we'll find out soon enough. Where are Danni and Chad?" he asked, his black hair swaying from side to side as he searched for a sign of his absent "cousin".

"I don't know," Sam said exasperatedly. "You've got to give them some space, Danny. You're starting to act like my parents."

_A secluded corner of the courtyard…._

**Chad's POV**

I sat down heavily next to her, shrugging of the weight of my backpack with a sigh of relief. I smiled, as I always did when I saw Dani, and launched into my "knight impression" she liked so much.

"Good morning, fair Dani," I said, lowering my voice for dramatic effect.

_**Waldorf: Oh, PLEASE…**_

_**Statler: Not this chivalry crap again…**_

She laughed. I love it when I can make her laugh. Like everything else about her, Dani's laugh is beautiful. "Your impressions are getting better. Have you thought about drama lessons?"v

_**Statler: Has Quill considered writing lessons?**_

"No," I said. "I get terrible stage fright, especially around others."

"Then why aren't you shy around me?"

"For every rule, there is an exception," I said. "I'm never shy around you."

I'd never admit it, but I was lying. I always felt self-conscious around her, always second-guessing myself, always wanting to impress her.

_**Waldorf(snickering): Good luck, sucker!**_

Fine. I'll admit it: I like her, okay? I really, really like her. She makes my stomach go all fluttery and I can't concentrate on anything else when she's around. I think about her all the time.

_**Statler: Well, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all!**_

_**Quill(angrily): Try it.**_

I had no intention of telling her so, of course. I treasure my friendship with Dani, and I'm not about to risk it by trying to turn it into anything else. Still, some rebellious part of me always wanted to see what would happen if I told her how I felt.

"Chad?"

Dani's musical voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Hmm?"

_**Waldorf: My wife's voice is musical too!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, about as musical as a cat being strangled! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"You kind of spaced out. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, forcing a smile. Desperate to change the subject, I pointed toward the brightening sky., lit up as it was with crimson, orange and yellow, as if an artist had taken the clouds and used them as his canvas.

_**Statler: I took an art class once, but it didn't work out.**_

_**Waldorf: You're not good at painting?**_

_**Statler: No, I got booted out for 'inappropriate depictions'!**_

_**Quill: You guys are just…awful.**_

_**Waldorf(solemnly): Thank you.**_

"I always loved sunrises, you know," I commented. "They signify the start of a new day, full of possibilities."

"Yeah," Dani sighed. She's adorable when she sighs like that. "I've never seen anything so beautiful."

"I have," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," I replied, my voice unintentionally sharp.

"Oh…sorry," her face fell at my snappish tone.

If I were a knight, I would have fallen on my sword right then and there. The last thing in the WORLD I wanted to do was hurt Dani's feelings. I felt like such a jerk.

_**Statler: Don't have a sword? Fall on a pencil or something! What's stopping you?**_

_**Waldorf: Do us BOTH a favor! **_

"I'm sorry," I said, and meant it. "I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm just…dealing with some complicated stuff right now."

"Like what?" Dani asked. "You know I'll listen if you want to talk about it."

My mind started to race. Should I tell her? Should I lie? How would she react to the truth? God, this is all so complicated! But then…Maybe she DID feel that way about me. Maybe Dani was just waiting for me to toss the ball into her court, first! I made my decision swiftly, and summoned up all my courage.

_This is it. I'm going to tell her._

_**Waldorf: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Get ready for disappointment, kid!**_

_**Statler: She's gonna drop him like a hot potato and mop the floor with his tears!**_

"Um…Are you sure?" I asked. "I'm kinda afraid of how you might react to it."

"Chad, I've fought more enemies than I have fingers and toes; I think I can handle it. Besides, I'm your friend. I care about you."

I silently prayed to any cosmic deity that might be listening. "I know we're friends, but, if it's okay with you, maybe we could be…something more?"

Dani blushed furiously. "What are you saying?"

I took a deep breath. "Dani…I've lived in five states before coming here, and in all that time, I've never met anyone like you," I said slowly as my face heated up.

_**Statler: Oh, come on! Just screw her already!**_

_**Quill: Okay, that's just going TOO FAR! What is WRONG with you guys? Keep it in your pants, you old pervs!**_

_**Waldorf: You first!**_

"Ummm.."

"You're different," I said breathlessly, my words beginning to string together. "You're smart and pretty and funny and you're the first real friend I've had since I moved here. You don't think I'm corny or weird and you actually enjoy spending time with me and whenever you walk into a room I feel my heart leap in joy and I think about you all the time and…and…I like you," I finished pathetically. "A lot."

_**Waldorf(sarcastically): Ooooh, THAT's impressive…**_

_**Statler: LAME!**_

Dani stared at me, her expression stunned. I felt my gut twist into a granny knot. _I blew it,_ I thought miserably. _I should have just kept my mouth shut...It's all over…_

_**Statler(in a singsong voice): Here it coooooomes!**_

She scooted closer, and I felt wild hope surge through me. "You really feel that way about me?" she asked, as her face turned an even deeper shade of red.

God, she's cute.

"Y-Yeah," I said. "You're one of the coolest people I've met."

Dani got a little bit closer as sadness contorted her lovely face. "I'm sorry."

_**Waldorf: HAHAHAHAHA! I can just hear his little heart breaking!**_

_**Statler: What a sap!**_

The anticipation building inside me abruptly vanished. "What?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you…I feel the same way, Chad. But I was scared to tell you; I didn't want to lose you."

I felt a surge of overwhelming joy, and all coherent thought was lost as I pulled her close and kissed her.

_**Statler: Oh, for CRYING OUT LOUD!**_

_**Waldorf: Let's see some drama, dammit!**_

Her eyes widened slightly, but then she, too, closed her eyes dreamily and kissed me right back. I slipped an arm around her gently, as if she might break, and as I drew her closer she melted against me.

The blood roared in my ears, every part of me was on fire, and I felt little jolts of electricity wherever we touched.

My heart was pounding against my chest.

And my jeans.

_**Statler: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Gasp* *Wheeze* Oh, my GOD!**_

_**Waldorf(wiping away tears of laughter): Where's your "chivalry" now, kid?**_

Not that I was planning on going THAT far with her. No way! Dani wasn't a piece of clothing to be used and discarded, dammit! She was special, and deserved to be treated as such! I would rather be drawn and quartered than do ANYTHING that could hurt her! I always prided myself on my sexual purity, and had no intention of stopping now.

Plus, if I actually did bed her, Dani's older "cousin" would absolutely _obliterate_ me.

_**Statler: Well, I'll give him that one…**_

I held her closer, and I honestly thought I would die from happiness.

_**Normal POV**_

Across the courtyard, Danny Fenton had to restrain himself from blasting Chad into atoms as he and Dani kissed. Sam put a supportive hand on his shoulder.

"Dani has to grow up sometime, you know."

"Yeah," Danny admitted. "But I don't have to like it."

_**Waldorf: You don't have to like this story either, smart-ass!**_

"Dani's smart," Tucker commented. "She can take care of herself. And face it, Chad is _terrified_ of you."

"Good," Danny said. "That's how it ought to be."

_**Statler: Boy, and I thought MY in-laws were unbearable!**_

"Don't worry," Sam replied with a smile. "It worked out for us, didn't it?"

Her boyfriend smiled. "True."

Any further thought was cut off as the morning bell rang.

_An Undisclosed Location_

Vlad Plasmius brought his fist down in a fury, breaking the wooden table clean in two. "Damn that MacFinn!" he snarled. "Daniel wasn't supposed to be aware of my return yet! This puts the entire scheme in jeopardy! FRIGHT KNIGHT!" he hollered.

The specter in question stepped from the shadows and kneeled, bowing his head contritely. "Yes, Master?"

"I want you to keep an eye on Danny Phantom and his compatriots. Gather as much information as you can, but do not engage him. If you're spotted, the whole plan could go up in flames."

_**Waldorf: Too bad the same can't be said for this story!**_

"As you wish, Master," the Fright Knight said before disappearing.

Vlad's eyes narrowed as thoughts of revenge consumed his crazed mind. "Soon, Daniel. Soon."

A/N: Hey guys, I'm back! I promised I would be, didn't I? Hope you enjoyed this chapter, 'cause this story is starting to wind down! I tell you, my friends, that before this tale is through, Vlad and Danny will have one final confrontation from which only one will walk away….

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	20. Author's Note

Author's Note:

You may recall that recently I decided to put it to a vote on whether to keep Statler and Waldorf; Now, I've gotten an even better idea: I shall post two different versions of this story, one with the commentary and one without. Gladeshadow, Solaris Prime, this one's for you.


	21. Chapter 21

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 20: It's Alive! Vlad's Ultimate Revenge!

_**(Statler and Waldorf aren't in this chapter; I couldn't find a way to make them fit, and they'd just kill the mood anyway. Sorry.)**_

_A Secret Lair, the Colorado Rockies_

Endless clouds of the darkest black obscured the sky, blocking out the sun and its reassuring warmth and radiance. Freezing raindrops as big as marbles fell in saturating sheets as thunder made the air shake with its deafening roar, as though the very heavens were being torn asunder. Mighty trees were snapped like toothpicks by the gale-force winds, which screamed like a thousand wounded men as Mother Nature vented her boundless fury upon the land.

None of this concerned Vlad Plasmius, who looked on imperiously as his minion, the Fright Knight, set about implementing the final touches to his plan. These mountains were the perfect place from which to exact his vengeance upon Jack Fenton's pathetic whelp of a son; even if the world had known of Vlad's return, they'd never think to look for him here, and the thick rock walls served to shield the energy signature from satellite detection. The unpredictable Rockies weather also worked to his advantage; he'd need thousands of volts of electricity to hit at just the right moment for his creation to be born.

Years of scientific study and experimentation had gone into this moment. Vlad had come close to perfecting his "protégé" upon the birth of Dani Fenton, but, like everyone else, the ghost brat had turned her over to the "good side".

But Vlad Plasmius was never one to give up, especially when he'd come so close to his goal. In the years that followed Dani's betrayal, he'd continued experimenting in secret, trying to find the elusive secret to creating the perfect "son", a powerful, mindless killing machine who lived only to serve him. Each attempt had met with failure, but in the wake of the Disasteroid, inspiration had dawned upon Danny's archnemesis.

Though he was loath to admit it, Jack Fenton deserved some of the credit for this venture; had his former friend not abandoned him in space, Vlad never would have gotten the idea, the solution to his problem.

The solution came in the form of the Disasteroid, made of pure Ectoranium.

To ghosts, and even half-ghosts like Vlad, Ectoranium had the same effect as Kryptonite did on Superman. But then Vlad got to thinking: Was it possible to reverse-engineer the Ectoranium's molecular structure? If his calculations were correct (and they always were), it could theoretically be done, but not without the most cutting-edge scientific equipment on the planet. The costs for the machinery alone would be enormous; the facility would be bigger than an oil refinery. This, coupled with some of the ghost child's DNA MacFinn had been kind enough to gather, formed the blueprint of his plan.

Thus, Vlad hid himself in the mountains, emerging often to "borrow" the necessary accoutrements, constructing, piece by piece, the path to his vengeful triumph. He had the Fright Knight blast caverns and tunnels deep into the Rockies, hiding Vlad's masterpiece from prying eyes. From the instrument of his defeat, he had constructed the key to his success, a piece of synthetic _anti_-Ectoranium that didn't impede ghost powers, _but amplified them_. This precious fragment, billions of dollars in the making, would be used to forge Vlad's ultimate creation: an ultra-powerful clone of Danny Phantom that would swear undying allegiance to him. If all went as planned, this marvel of engineering and genetic manipulation would not be harmed by the ecto-energy Danny so carelessly threw around. Instead, Daniel (as Vlad christened him) would _absorb_ the blasts , adding and amplifying them to his own unstoppable might, growing more and more powerful every time he was hit. Vlad's greatest triumph would be a thousand times greater than himself or even Pariah Dark, a superweapon that he would use to bring this world to its knees.

And best of all, that thrice-cursed Danny Phantom would take the blame.

The rogue had to congratulate himself; the irony was just _too_ delicious.

Vlad also took the liberty of making several of the world's top scientists vanish off the face of the planet, kidnapping them and forcing them to work around the clock on his machine. When each egg-head's task was done, Vlad took them, one by one, outside, promising them "freedom".

And freedom he gave them, in the form of a two thousand foot fall off the mountain.

The villain spoke without raising his voice as the thick power lines around him crackled with electricity. "Increase amplitude to maximum."

The Fright Knight, stolidly obedient, turned a row of knobs in quick succession. "Amplitude increased."

"Activate the lightning rod."

"Lightning rod, activated."

A hidden panel opened on the side of the mountain, and the dull metal orb was immediately bombarded by streaks of lightning.

"Power level now thirty percent," the Fright Knight said.

"Keep going," Vlad ordered. "We need to be at full capacity."

"Power level sixty five percent…"

His master glanced at the screen before him, as the power graph turned rapidly from red to green.

"Power level now one hundred percent," Vlad shouted. "Do it! Do it, NOW!"

The Fright Knight groaned, pulling an obscenely oversized lever with all his might as the storm outside reached fever pitch. The clash of thunder echoed around the spacious cavern as rain pelted Vlad's face, and the flashes of light illuminated the madness in his eyes. Before him, in a specially constructed pod, his dear boy grew ever closer to consciousness.

The electricity gathered outside traveled at impossible speeds down the amplification rods, and the sinister-looking vessel was blasted with over one hundred million volts of nature's wrath.

Inside the pod, a shadowy form stirred. Its eyes opened as the jolts of lightning jump-started its heart, forcing blood to its brain while its fingers began to twitch.

The heart-rate monitor began to beep faster and faster, signaling the success of Vlad's experiment, this perversion of life that had been created from death. Vlad's eyes glistened with thoughts of vengeance, and he stepped forth, unafraid, as the pneumatic doors of the life-support pod hissed open.

The villain's tone was gentle. "Daniel? Can you hear me?"

The voice that replied sounded exactly like Danny, down to its pitch and timbre. "I hear you…Master."

Vlad's maniacal laughter was almost drowned out by the storm outside.

Almost.

A/N: I'm sorry this is such a short chapter, but my time on the computer is somewhat limited right now. I'll try my _damnedest_ to have the next installment up tomorrow, but I can't promise anything, and for that I'm sorry. I know the wait's killing you, but please be patient, guys. This story WILL be completed, or my name's not Quill N. Inque! (Well, technically, that's not my name, but you get the idea…)


	22. Chapter 22

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Ch. 21: Things Fall Apart

_Washington,D.C, 6:00 A.M_

Danny Phantom soared through the skies over the U.S. Capitol. Below him, people stopped and waved, pleased and reassured by their hero's sudden appearance.

The reality was much, much darker, for this was not Danny Phantom.

He preferred to be called Daniel.

_**Statler: Insert "Nightmare on Elm Street" theme here!**_

_**Waldorf: Are you kidding? This guy makes Freddy Krueger look like a newborn kitten! HAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

Stopping just above the Capitol Mall, Daniel's hands began to glow a sickly green, as he concentrated more and more energy into the opening shots of his master's war.

The puny humans below him screamed in terror as Daniel let loose a thunderous blast. Several historic buildings were destroyed instantly, their beautiful architecture vaporized by the concentrated energy. People ran screaming in panic, and Daniel amused himself for several moments by disintegrating any pedestrians who caught his eye. He flew away as quickly as he had come, leaving more than two city blocks in smoldering ruins.

_**Waldorf: YEAH! FINALLY!**_

_**Statler: Like shooting fish in a barrel!**_

Daniel increased his altitude as he approached the Capitol Dome, landing upon its apex as he contemptuously blasted the statue of Lady Liberty that resided there. With a smack of his hand, he sent the Stars and Stripes, flagpole and all, plummeting toward the ground. That done, Daniel went about systematically destroying the U.S. Capitol's most recognizable feature.

_**Statler: NOW WE'RE TALKIN'! BURN, BABY! BURN!**_

_**Waldorf: I never liked politics anyway!**_

Inside the Dome, Senators and Representatives yelled in surprise as masonry and rubble collapsed around them, crushing several unfortunates who happened to be too close. Daniel roared with evil joy as he listened to the howls within, and, just for kicks, sent a beam of energy that snapped the Washington Monument like a twig. Several dozen tourists were killed instantly.

The carnage below sent the blood roaring through Daniel's veins. Such power! Such glorious _power_! The humans were little more than insects compared to his might! His eyes shined with malevolent glee as Vlad's favorite son sent the crumbling remains of the Capitol Dome crashing toward the street below.

_**Statler: This guy's a total badass!**_

Something roared past Daniel's ear. He whirled around, his eyes scanning for the source of the irritation. Ah, there. The humans had brought tanks and soldiers in the hope of stopping him.

_**Waldorf: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Good luck, suckers!**_

_Fools_, Daniel thought as he nimbly dodged another shell. His green eyes glowed furiously and two tanks exploded in bursts of flame, cutting down a dozen soldiers who'd gotten too close. An attack chopper crashed to the ruined pavement, cut clean in two, and the human "defenders" began to retreat in terror.

That was the farthest they got.

Daniel watched the humans turn to ashes, relishing their screams of agony, as Washington, D.C. began to burn.

_**Statler: Now all I need is a fiddle!**_

_Fentonworks, 7:30 A.M._

Danny Fenton woke with a yawn as the sun shone through his window. It was a beautiful day outside, with not a cloud in the sky. All around, the people of Amity were waking up, some for a day in the classroom, others for another grind in the office. Birds sang merrily in the trees as the halfa pushed the sheets aside, discarding his pajamas for his usual blue jeans and monogrammed shirt. Snatching his backpack on the way downstairs, Danny opened the front door-

-and was confronted by a small army, with GIW agents K and O in the lead.

_**Waldorf: That's one hell of a wake-up call!**_

_**Statler: Espresso has nothing on this!**_

Danny tried to smile. "Whoa, guys. Where's the fire?"

"Washington," K growled. "Don't you remember?"

"What?"

O laughed. "Don't give us that! You spent almost an hour burning our nation's capital to the ground! Turn on the news, ghost kid, and tell me what you see! Go on!"

_**Statler: Clap him in irons, copper!**_

_**Waldorf: Let's see if the ghost kid can escape from the chair! HAHAHAHAHA!**_

Danny put his hands up placatingly. "Okay, okay. I'll turn it on right now," he said calmly as he switched on the kitchen's tiny set.

As soon as he did, Danny wished he hadn't. The screen gave him a birds-eye view of the ruined city, just before footage of himself began to play. As the terrible events on the film unfolded, Danny gasped in horror.

"It can't be…This has got to be some kind of sick joke."

_**Statler: You hit the nail on the head there, ghost kid!**_

_**Waldorf: Now if only someone could send those guys after Quill…**_

"Only to you, Fenton," K snarled. "You're coming with us!"

Danny sighed, apparently resigned to his fate, as the handcuffs tightened painfully around his wrists. "What about my friends?"

_**Statler: What about 'em?**_

_**Waldorf: At least he'll have some company on Death Row!**_

"They're accessories," O said. "They may not have had a direct role, but nonetheless, they will share your fate. You are a terrorist, Fenton, and have therefore given up your civil rights, as stated in the Patriot Act."

K grinned maliciously. "I'd say this wasn't anything personal, but then I'd be lying."

"My thoughts exactly," Danny said as he broke the cuffs like a paper chain. "I don't know what's going on here, but I will get to the bottom of it!" he yelled as he transformed.

Danny Phantom was gone before anyone could fire a shot.

_**Statler: Dammit…**_

_The Manson Estate, 7:35 A.M._

Sam gasped as Danny roughly shook her awake. "What the hell…."

_**Statler: I've said that upon waking up more than once!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, that's 'cause you can't remember the name of the woman next to you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"No time to explain," Danny said, his voice low and urgent. "Something really bad's going down, and apparently I've been set up to take the fall. Every government agency in the United States is after me, and you and Tucker, too, guilty by association. We need to disappear for a while so we can figure this out."

"What were you framed for, exactly?" Sam asked as she got out of bed. Danny turned around politely.

"Destroying D.C, apparently. Video footage caught an impersonator destroying the Capitol Building and the Washington Monument, as well as the FBI headquarters and other buildings." Danny's eyes shadowed. "People _died, _Sam. And whoever framed me knew what he was doing; this guy could have been my identical twin."

_**Waldorf: Life sucks, doesn't it, kid?**_

_**Statler: Or half-life, in his case!**_

"Wow. You're not kidding," Sam whistled, buckling on her combat boots.. "This _is_ bad."

"C'mon," her boyfriend said. "We need to get to Tucker before the GIW do."

_**Waldorf: Do we have to?**_

_**Statler: Survival of the fittest, you know!**_

_**Waldorf: And the geek's about as fit as Jabba the Hutt!**_

"What about Dani and Chad?"

"I contacted them on the way here. They'll rendezvous with us later."

Sam shuddered. "Who would do this? I can only think of a few ghosts who could perpetrate destruction on such a scale. Pariah Dark, your evil future-self…Do you think that was him? Dark Danny?"

"No," Danny sighed as he took her hand. "I checked with Clockwork; he's still doing time in the thermos. I suppose it could be Amorpho, but he doesn't possess _near_ enough power to do that kind of thing. And he's more mischievous than evil."

Sam turned white suddenly. "Danny…remember what MacFinn said?"

Recognition dawned upon him, and Danny's eyes widened. "Of course," he breathed. "Only one person has ever tried to clone me, and only one man is twisted enough to try and tarnish my reputation like this…"

"It's true then," Sam whispered. "He's returned…"

_**Statler(sarcastically): Well, it took you long enough to figure it out…**_

_**Waldorf: No prizes there!**_

Her boyfriend's fists tightened and he spoke the hated name with clenched teeth. "Vlad Plasmius…This has his fingerprints all over it! He tried to duplicate me before, to create a perfect servant…"

"Only this time, it worked," Sam sighed as she and Danny flew toward Tucker's house.

_The Tucker Residence, 7:45 A.M._

Tucker's face lit up with delight as he stuffed a sausage into his mouth, chewing it with relish. He almost choked, however, when Danny's disembodied voice spoke in his ear.

"Tucker!"

"Danny?" the tech specialist said, spluttering. "What are you doing here? It's not even time for school!"

_**Statler: Kid, right now homework is the LEAST of your concerns!**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, concentrate on getting laid, geek-wad! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"Forget school!" Sam's voice said. "We've got a major problem. Turn on the TV."

Tucker did so, and his jaw dropped. "Oh, _snap_. What did you _do,_ Danny?"

"It wasn't me!" his friend snarled. "But we need to go underground until we can expose the truth!"

_**Statler: That's what they all say...**_

"Which is?"

"Tell you later," Danny said shortly as his invisible hand grabbed Tucker's arm. "Hang on!"

On the television, a news anchorman was speaking outside the flaming wreckage of the U.S. Capitol.

"Lance Thunder here outside what _used _to be the Capitol Building in downtown Washington. Just an hour ago, our very own hero, Danny Phantom, went on a sudden, inexplicable, and bloody rampage through the city, destroying everything in his path and killing dozens. The FBI, NSA, CIA and Interpol are all seeking the cooperation of worldwide law enforcement in apprehending this fiend, who has so suddenly gone from protector to destroyer. Danny is considered armed and extremely dangerous; if you see him, call the hotline number on your screen. Now the question everyone wants answered is how, and why. Now back to you."

_**Waldorf: I know who did it! It was Colonel Mustard….**_

_**Statler: ...In the Ballroom…**_

_**Waldorf…With the Knife!**_

In his lair, Vlad Plasmius turned the giant TV set off with a click. "Well done, my boy," he said to Daniel. "Everything is going according to plan."

_**Statler: Yeah, like EVERY VILLAIN on the PLANET hasn't used that line at least once!**_

"I live to please you, Master," Daniel replied humbly.

_**Waldorf: That's what she said! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"As well you should," Vlad replied.

"Shall I hunt the boy down and destroy him?"

"No. In time, Danny will meet his demise, but not before I have tarnished his name forever and taken my rightful place as ruler of this planet. Why don't you go out and play?" Vlad asked, making a "shoo" motion with his hands. "Go on; kill things."

A slow smile spread across Daniel's face. "Okay."

A/N: Wow! I gotta say, as diabolical plots go, this one's a gem! Hope you guys are ready for more, 'cause I'll have the next chapter up either tomorrow or Thursday! ^^

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	23. Chapter 23

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Ch. 23: Plasmius Ascendant

_New York City_

Daniel watched as yet another human metropolis crumbled before him. The flaming hulk of the once-great Empire State Building cast a smoky pall over what had been America's greatest city. Master instructed him to wreak as much destruction as possible, and the results were startlingly apparent. As far as the eye could see, palpitating sheets of fire obscured the skies, filling the air with their horrible roars, mingling with the screams of those trapped inside the blaze. Daniel nodded coldly, satisfied with his bloody work, and vanished completely.

_**Statler: Well, there goes the neighborhood!**_

_**Waldorf: I bet property taxes are gonna plummet in the Big Apple before long!**_

_An Undisclosed Location_

Danny Fenton turned away from the blaring television above the street corner where he stood. He couldn't bear to watch; this impersonator was wreaking damage on a massive scale, and all the while he was taking the blame. First D.C had been burnt to the ground, then Chicago, and now New York! It was all too much…

_**Statler: Wow, that's unfortunate! Chicago got already got burned down twice!**_

_**Waldorf: Well, third time's the charm! HAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

Sam hugged him tenderly, and he buried his face in her shoulder. "It'll be okay, Danny."

_**Waldorf(in a singsong voice): No it won't!**_

"How can you be sure?" he said morosely. "This guy's unstoppable, like a force of nature. I can't confront him directly; I'm almost positive he's just trying to lure me out so I can take the fall for him! But if I don't try to bring him down, how many more people will pay the price? How many more will die because of me?"

_**Statler: I'm betting at least a hundred!**_

_**Waldorf: You're on!**_

"It's not your fault," Sam said. "Plasmius is the one responsible. We just need to track him down."

_**Statler: Good luck, sister!**_

Danny nodded. "Have Dani and Chad showed up yet?"

"Chad called a second ago. They shouldn't be too long," his girlfriend replied.

"Chad used a cell phone?" Danny demanded. "The cops can track it!"

_**Waldorf: Oops! **_

"Relax," Sam said, trying to prevent his nerves from fraying even further. "Tucker spiked the signal with one of his new doohickies."

_**Statler: Well, that's no fun at all!**_

"It is NOT a doohickey," Tucker snapped, then fell silent as he thought for a moment. "Okay, maybe it is, but that's beside the point. I knew we'd need a way to communicate without being tracked, so I built it out of a microwave and a monitor someone threw away," he said proudly.

_**Waldorf: He's right, it's not a doohickey!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, anyone can see it's a thingamajig!**_

"Tuck, if you end up running Bill Gates out of business, it won't surprise me," Danny said.

"I'll say," Chad replied as he and Dani walked discreetly behind them.

Tucker almost glanced over his shoulder, but didn't for fear of drawing attention; though they were all wearing different clothes in order not to be recognized (Danny even dyed his hair) it never hurt to be too careful. "Glad you could make it. Where's the Captain?"

_**Statler: He dyed his hair?**_

_**Waldorf(rubbing his head): At least HE'S got hair to dye in the first place!**_

"He volunteered to go to the Ghost Zone and see if any of his contacts knew anything about what's going on," Dani replied. "He'll find us eventually. But right now, we need to figure out how to bring down that monstrosity masquerading as you, Danny."

_**Waldorf: Easier said than done, punk!**_

"Therein lies the problem," Tucker said. "I've seen the footage, and I've got to say that Vlad's really outdone himself. This clone is extremely powerful, Dani, and though I hate to admit it, I think Danny would lose to him in a one-on-one fight. We need more firepower; we need allies."

_**Waldorf: The enemy of my enemy is my friend!**_

_**Statler: Who cares? I just wanna see the clone vaporize the ghost kid!**_

"That could be difficult," Sam said. "Danny has far more enemies than friends in the Ghost Zone, you know."

"True," Danny admitted. "But nonetheless, we need every fighter we can get."

_**Waldorf: Not me! I'm a heckler, not a fighter!**_

_**Statler: Me too! Why do you think we sit all the way up here?**_

"I bet Clockwork could take him," Chad said. He hadn't met the spirit of Time personally, but knew enough about his abilities to make such an observation.

"He could," Tucker said. "But Clockwork's job is to observe, not act. He'd be sympathetic, surely, but the laws of the Observers would prevent him from helping us, most likely."

_**Statler: Dang, I thought he was on to something, there.**_

_**Waldorf: Well, that's more than I can say for you, Quill!**_

"What about Frostbite and the Far-Frozen?" Sam asked. "He's a good fighter, and he has hundreds of warriors at his command. That'd be worth looking into."

_**Statler(sarcastically): Oh, you THINK?**_

"You're right," Danny said. "Anyone else that we can think of?"

"Skulker?" Dani suggested. "He's helped you before."

"Yeah, but that was only because there was something in it for him, like…" Danny grinned. "You know what? I think he _will_ help us."

"Why?"

_**Statler: That's a good question! Now here's an even better one…**_

_**Waldorf: Why isn't this story over yet?**_

"Skulker's always wanted to put my pelt on his wall. And if he fights this clone, he has the opportunity to do just that."

"That _would_ be enticing to someone like him," Tucker said. "Think Amorpho would be willing to help?"

"Doubtful. But then again, he _does _crave attention, and this will get him plenty. So I guess it can't hurt to ask," Sam said.

Danny nodded. "Then it's settled. But we need a way to get into the Ghost Zone if this plan is going to work."

_**Waldorf: How're they gonna get past this one?**_

_**Statler: Hopefully, they won't! HAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

Tucker smiled. "I think I can help with that."

"What are you talking about?" Chad demanded. "The only working Ghost Portal belongs to Danny's parents, and the Feds are gonna have them under observation. We can't risk returning to Amity."

"That may be so, but do you have any idea what happened to _Vlad's_ portal?"

"No…"

"After the Disasteroid thing, the government confiscated the portal and shipped it to a top-secret research facility in Roswell, New Mexico. It's known as Area 51."

_**Statler: OOOOH, SNAP!**_

_**Waldorf: There's a movie in here somewhere!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, it's like something straight out of "Mission Impossible"!**_

Sam stared. "How do you know this?"

_**Waldorf: If I tell you, I have to kill you!**_

_**Statler: In that case, what are you waiting for?**_

"I hacked into their server a few times, since I like to keep track of this stuff. Not too difficult, I can tell you. They may as well put out a welcome mat…"

"How on Earth are we going to break in to one of the most secure bases on the planet?" Danny asked. "It's got to be crawling with security!"

"We don't have any other choice," Tucker said.

_**Statler: You could just end the story by jumping in front of a train!**_

_**Quill: HEY! Not cool!**_

_**Statler: Well, I'm just saying he could…**_

"Do we have transportation?" Chad asked.

"Oh, do we ever!" Danny said, grinning mischievously as he clicked something in his pocket. "Going up!"

"What- HEY!" Chad yelled in surprise as the Fenton Emergency Escape Jet sucked them off the ground and into its interior. Danny grinned at Sam, putting on his "Captain Kirk" accent.

"Beam me up, Spock. There's no intelligent life on this planet."

_**Waldorf: Take me with you!**_

Tucker glared at him. "Don't insult Star Trek, dude."

Once inside, Dani scratched her chin thoughtfully. "Can't they track us on radar?"

"If they can build equipment that can pick up this plane, then the Feds deserve to catch us," Tucker snickered.

_**Statler: Does that plane come in red?**_

_**Waldorf: How come WE didn't get one?**_

The jet broke the sound barrier as it sped away.

_Roswell, New Mexico, 4 days later…_

The Fenton Jet landed atop a mesa an inconspicuous distance away, and the five friends piled out into the sweltering New Mexican evening. Tucker grabbed a pair of binoculars and surveyed the base that sprawled out below him. As he did so, Danny began outlining his scheme, drawing outlines in the sand as he did so.

_**Statler: Okay, seriously: Someone should make a movie out of this!**_

_**Waldorf: Too bad no one would pay to see it! HAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"Ok, here's the plan. Tucker will activate the sleeping gas in the security systems, knocking out the personnel, before we do anything else. Once that's done, we'll split into two teams. Dani, you go with Sam and Chad. You three will enter through this entrance, here. Tuck and I will enter from the opposite end of the building, and we'll all meet up in this hallway," Danny pointed with a stick. "If the blueprints Tucker 'borrowed' are correct, then we should reach the portal in two minutes and fifty-five seconds. Are we clear?"

Everyone nodded.

"Okay, then let's go."

A/N: Boy, talk about a heist! This just keeps getting better and better!

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	24. Chapter 24

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 23: Into the Ghost Zone

_Roswell, New Mexico, sunset_

Danny stood with his hands behind his back as Tucker's PDA hijacked the security frequency of the base below. When he spoke, his voice was different; it was harsher and more serious than usual. This was because, inwardly, Danny was cursing Vlad Plasmius with every fiber of his being for ruining his life.

_**Statler: About time the ghost kid grew serious about this!**_

_**Waldorf: Now if only Quill would get serious with his writing!**_

Tucker's voice roused Danny from his brooding. "I'm in. I've disabled the perimeter alarms and deactivated the security systems. The sleeping gas stored in the air vents should've taken effect by now."

_**Waldorf: Sleeping gas? I'm pretty sure that's illegal…**_

"Good," Danny said, looking around at his compatriots. "Let's go, then."

"Aye, lad, but d'ye think ye can make room for one more?"

_**Statler: Oh, great…Not THIS guy again…**_

_**Waldorf: *Censored***_

Sam jumped, the Captain's voice rough in her ear. "Don't _do _that!"

"Sorry."

_**Statler: PIRATES DON'T APOLOGIZE, DUMBASS!**_

"How did you find us?" Chad asked.

"Well, there IS a portal in yonder base, lad," the Captain said matter-of-factly. "That's why ye're here, ain't it?"

_**Waldorf: Oh, ya THINK?**_

"Yeah," Dani admitted. "We're looking for allies to fight with us against Vlad."

A slow smile spread across the ghost's gaunt features. "Is that so? In that case, we've got one more stop to make once we're in the Ghost Zone, methinks."

_**Waldorf: The more the scarier!**_

_**Statler: Nice one, Waldorf!**_

"What are you talking about?" Sam demanded.

"Oh, I just happen to know a few friends who're dyin' fer a good scrap," the Captain said, smiling mysteriously.

"Enough talk," Danny said. "Let's do this."

_**Statler: That's what she said! HAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

_**Quill: Would you drop that already? Geez…**_

_**Waldorf: No! The classics NEVER go out of style!**_

"What's wid 'im?" the Captain said.

"He's gone through a lot lately," Chad whispered.

A thick wall of barbed wire abruptly stopped the friends' advance, but Danny was undeterred. The hero scanned the desert around him, and nodded when he spied what he sought: a thick metal pipe, likely left over from some derelict jeep or other vehicle used on-base. This Danny picked up and threw against the fence, where it absorbed the shock of its electrified wires. The blackened piece of metal fell, still smoking, to the ground, and Danny tore the fence asunder without breaking his stride.

"I need to apologize to Mr. Lancer," the halfa muttered as he blatantly ignored a NO TRESPASSING sign. "I told him I'd never use that in real life."

_**Waldorf: I remember my old high school teacher, too.**_

_**Statler: What'd she teach?**_

_**Waldorf: Sex ed! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

Danny phased through the thick metal doors that marked the entrance to the secret facility's interior, and Dani followed close behind.

Sam, Tucker, and Chad were left outside with the Captain, and they looked at him expectantly.

"Aren't you going to phase us in?" Chad asked.

The pirate sneered as he took the massive blunderbuss from its sheath. "I _could,_" he said as he pulled the trigger, "But where be the fun in that?"

_**Statler: I gotta get me one of those…**_

The doors had been tested for strength and endurance, but they certainly weren't Captain-proof. They crumpled like aluminum foil under the concussive blast.

The old sailor twirled the weapon's still-smoking barrel idly. "What are we waitin' fer? C'mon."

Chad's eyes widened. "That was totally awesome."

_**Waldorf: Too bad you can't say the same about this story, Quill!**_

Sam ignored him. "Which way to the portal, Tuck?"

The tecchie in question looked down one hallway, and then the next. After a moment, he pointed to the left. "This way," he said shortly, stepping over the unconscious form of a guard.

_**Statler: Oh, that's cold…**_

_**Waldorf: But not as cold as Quill!**_

_**Statler: Yeah! Making us sit through this story probably constitutes cruel and unusual punishment!**_

"Lad knows what 'e's doin', don't he?" the Captain commented.

"No one's better at machines than Tucker," Chad said proudly.

The four friends turned down another corridor, and then another, getting deeper and deeper into the labyrinthine base. It was only five minutes, but the precarious nature of their quest made it seem like an eternity; the guards could, after all, wake up at any time.

_**Waldorf: There's a "Mission Impossible" movie in here somewhere…**_

Sam led the way into yet another room and she felt her heart soar with joy when she was confronted with the swirling green vortex of Vlad's ghost portal.

Danny turned around as Chad and Tucker entered, with the Captain hot on their heels.

"Ready?"

"As we'll ever be," Chad replied, speaking for them all.

_**Statler: Speak for yourself, kid!**_

Then without another word, Danny and his friends plunged head-first into the mysterious dimension known as the Ghost Zone.

Chad had to stifle his cry of surprise; nothing Dani had told him could've prepared him for THIS.

_**Waldorf: What a wuss!**_

_**Statler: I'll bet the little sissy wets his pants! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

The Zone seemed to go on forever; it was a maze of doors, portals, and gateways, wormholes through which one could pass into the far future or distant past. The laws of physics had no jurisdiction here, either, as Chad found himself free-floating alongside his friends. The young man unconsciously grabbed Dani's hand for reassurance, blinded momentarily by his fear.

Chad just as quickly let go of her, blushing furiously. Knights didn't DO fear, after all. He was supposed to be strong, like his ancestors. Plus, even though he and Dani had kissed in the courtyard, it was too early to tell just _where _their relationship was going.

_**Waldorf: I wish he would drop this whole "chivalry" gig.**_

_**Statler: Just bang her already! What is WRONG with you, kid?**_

_**Quill: Hey! Can we keep it clean, please?**_

_**Waldorf: No.**_

Dani smiled warmly at him. "Don't worry, Chad. Danny knows the Ghost Zone like the back of his hand."

"I hope so," Chad replied. "Because I have no idea where we are."

"We're heading to the Kingdom of Aragorn," Danny replied. "I'm on speaking terms with the regent there."

"I hadn't thought of that earlier," Sam said, smiling. "Good idea, Danny."

"Thanks," he said. "I also thought we'd pay Pandora a visit, too."

"An' don' fergit me," The Captain said. "I know a few hearties who'd take any excuse t'fight."

_**Statler: I wanna see what these friends of his turn out to be!**_

_**Waldorf: That makes one of us!**_

The six companions lapsed into silence as they made their way through the Ghost Zone, each absorbed in his or her own thoughts. Time had no meaning here; no one was sure if it had taken minutes or hours of floating before the spires of Aragon Castle loomed ahead.

Danny landed at the head of his party, and with an air of confidence confronted the menacing-looking knights guarding the castle's gate.

_**Statler: Maybe if we're lucky the guards will stab him.**_

_**Waldorf: Hopefully…**_

"I'm here to speak with Dora," Danny said. "She knows me."

"Name?" grunted knight #1.

"Danny Phantom."

The two soldiers looked at each other briefly. "Wait here," the other one said. Apparently he didn't have time for more than one syllable.

The knights turned around and entered the foreboding stone structure, and reemerged less than a minute later.

The first spectral guardian bowed deeply to Danny. "Her Most Serene Majesty Queen Pandora, Monarch of Aragon, is expecting you."

_**Statler: Wow, vanity much?**_

_**Waldorf(shrugs): She's royalty, Statler. A high-falutin' title comes with the job.**_

Danny nodded and stepped over the threshold, but as his friends followed, the guards crossed their swords, barring them entry.

"Only the ghost child has been permitted to enter here," the knight said. "You will have to wait outside."

_**Statler: Oooh, DENIED!**_

_**Waldorf: Ouch…**_

The Captain scowled. "Spoilsport," he muttered, his expression one of extreme pirate's melancholy vanished, however, when he saw several spectral damsels giggling under a blackened and withered tree.

"Then again," he muttered. "Maybe it won't be so bad, waitin' out 'ere. Ahoy, lassies!"

Chad watched with a mixture of admiration and horror. "Have you no shame?" he asked as the Captain strode past him.

"Nope."

_**Statler: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, God, that is just TOO funny!**_

_**Waldorf: I'm available, ladies!**_

_**Quill: You're MARRIED, Waldorf!**_

_**Waldorf: So?**_

A/N: Hey, guys! Sorry it took me a few days, but I've been really busy with a bunch of crap that I have to pretend like I care about…_ Anyway, I'll try to have the next installment up as soon as possible! Coming up: Dora throws her lot in with Danny, and the Far Frozen join the alliance!


	25. Chapter 25

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 24: In the Court of Queen Dora

Danny Phantom's footfalls echoed eerily through the massive stone structure as he walked down the torch-lit hall to Queen Dora's court. Green flames flickered in their sconces, their shadows dancing crazily, while tattered banners and threadbare flags hung from the rotting wooden rafters. At every door and hallway Danny passed, more armor-clad phantoms stood at stiff attention, silently guarding the ancient structure as they had through time immemorial. Somewhere, water leaked from a derelict pipe, its drip-dripping adding to the subterranean atmosphere.

_**Statler: Sounds like my house!**_

_**Waldorf: Naah, your place is WAY dirtier!**_

Though Dora was a friend of his, Danny couldn't help shuddering slightly. _This place is even creepier than when Aragon was king…_

His progress was halted abruptly by two things: the huge double doors that marked the entrance to Dora's throne room, and the menacing-looking warriors that guarded it. These two ghosts were different than the others Danny had seen here; their armor was matte black, and they radiated both confidence and deadly skill. Danny knew instinctively that these knights were a cut above Dora's regular rank-and-file soldiers.

_**Statler: What are you waiting for? Run him through!**_

_**Waldorf: Turn the little bastard into a shishkabob!**_

He swallowed nervously as he approached the two guardians. "I've been granted an audience with Queen Dora," he said, trying and failing miserably to keep his voice from shaking.

The warrior to his left spoke, his voice deep and laden with unspoken threats. "Be ye warned, boy," he growled, "That insolence and un-chivalrous behavior in the presence of Her Majesty will not be tolerated."

_**Waldorf: Maybe they should've sent Dani's boyfriend instead!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, Chad would fit right in! HAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"I'll keep that in mind," Danny said, trying in vain to smile as the doors opened with theatric sluggishness.

Before he could even take a step, a loud voice cut through the air like a knife. "Hear ye, hear ye! The Monarch of Pandora cometh! All hail the Queen!"

_**Statler: I love a woman who knows how to make an entrance!**_

_**Waldorf: That is so hot!**_

The spectral nobles gathered in the chamber dropped to one knee, echoing the statement with one strong voice. "All hail the Queen!"

Danny was momentarily confused, but then, figuring it was better to be safe, dropped to a knee as well. He wasn't sure if such rules of etiquette applied to him here, since he was neither a citizen of Aragon nor a full-blooded ghost.

But hey, when in Rome…

_**Waldorf: I remember going to Rome once!**_

_**Statler: Really?**_

_**Waldorf: Yeah, I remember waking up with a hangover and not much else!**_

The breathless and slightly unnerving silence that greeted the Queen's imminent arrival was broken only by her soft footsteps, her delicately pointed shoes tapping on the worn stone tiles.

_**Statler: OFF WITH HIS HEAD! I've always wanted to say that…**_

_**Waldorf: Nah, that's too quick and painless! Having the ghost kid drawn and quartered would be MUCH better.**_

_**Quill: I'm speechless.**_

_**Waldorf(clasping his hands in prayer): Thank the Lord!**_

Danny kept his head bowed out of respect, as did everyone else, until the regent was seated upon the oversized throne, which sat on a raised dais in the center of the chamber. Dora's voice was warm when she spoke, and even though he couldn't see her face due to his position, Danny could hear the smile in her tone.

"You've no need to kneel to me, Danny," Dora said. "For without you, I never would have become Queen. Rise, my friend, and tell us: what brings you to Aragon?"

Danny got up off the floor, brushing off his pants as he did so. "I need your help, Dora," the hero said simply.

"Do tell," she murmured, and all fell silent as Danny told his tale. When he was finished, Dora's normally bright green skin had paled to a lime-ish shade, and even her courtiers seemed to exhibit a wide range of shock and horror.

_**Waldorf: It must take a lot to horrify a ghost!**_

_**Statler: Yeah, this story would make Stephen King have nightmares!**_

"It's true then?" Dora asked. "Vlad Plasmius has returned?"

"Yeah," Danny replied. "And suffice to say, I can't defeat him on my own this time."

One of the nobles, a fat, skeletal man in a Shakespearean outfit, scoffed imperiously. "What goes on in the human world is none of _our_ affair, boy! This clone of yours was created with _human _science. Why should we involve ourselves in a war that has nothing to do with us?"

_**Statler: BOOO! **_

_**Waldorf: Peace-loving pansy!**_

"Because once Vlad's done conquering my world, he'll start on yours next," Danny replied quietly. "You know this is true, Dora."

"Preposterous!" another specter exclaimed. "The Zone is too big for any ghost or man to completely explore, even Plasmius!"

"Right," Danny snorted. "You make sure to tell him that as he's leveling this place."

_**Statler: Ooh. Nice comeback!**_

The chamber erupted in a flurry of furious debate, but the ever-increasing volume was silenced when Dora spoke, calmly but firmly. "Enough."

Silence was immediate.

"We owe a debt to Danny and the humans," the Queen said. "Without his help, my brother would still hold sway over our fair kingdom, and that is the truth. It is only proper, my lords and ladies, that we repay this debt now, in _his_ time of need. Sound the call and gather our forces to us. We will fight with Danny!"

_**Waldof: YEAH! WAR, BABY!**_

_**Statler: Let's see an epic battle!**_

The fat ghost in Baron's garb stood up again. "If you wish it, my Queen, then we shall go to war."

A rousing cheer erupted from the assembled patronage, and orders were shouted as Aragon prepared for battle. Somewhere, a herald blew upon a ghostly horn, and its deep tones drew warriors to the castle in droves. In short order, a veritable army of armor-clad ghosts was tromping and clanking across the castle courtyard, in ranks fifty wide and fifty deep armed with a variety of remorseless pieces of metal: spears, axes, swords, and iron maces were all very much in evidence.

_**Statler: It's like something from Lord of the Rings…**_

_**Waldorf: I always hated that movie! HAHAHAHAHA!**_

Danny peered over the parapets of Castle Aragon, awed by such military might, as Dora stood serenely by him.

"Magnificent, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Danny said with feeling. "I had no idea you had so many soldiers. That clone will be hopelessly outnumbered."

"True," Dora replied. "But I would not expect such an advantage to last for long…"

_Pariah's Keep, the Ghost Zone_

Daniel Phantom strode past the charred corpses of the skeletal guards without even blinking. He felt no remorse for them; he wanted something, and they were in his way. So he got rid of them. The evil halfa strode into what was once the center of Pariah Dark's ghostly empire, the ruined throne room where the Ghost King slept even now.

_**Statler: A ghost KING?**_

_**Waldorf: In that case Quill would be his royal bi—**_

_**Quill: UGH! Don't EVEN go there, Waldorf! Honestly…**_

But the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep wasn't the objective, and neither had Master instructed Daniel to liberate the king from his enchanted slumber. It was what lay _beside_ the scepter that Daniel had been sent to retrieve.

_**Statler: HEY, YOU! Loyalty's overrated, kid!**_

He'd followed his genetic donor, that goody-goody Danny Phantom, into the Ghost Zone days before, as destroying the world can really take it out of a guy. He'd followed him and his puny friends to New Mexico, where Master's portal was being held. And after Phantom had jumped inside, he'd decided to see what he was up to.

That was after he'd killed all of Area 51's personnel, for _daring_ to steal Master's property.

_**Waldorf: DAMN! That's **__**COLD**__**!**_

_**Statler: Why can't the other characters be more like him?**_

Daniel had soon realized that Phantom was building an army, and had reported his findings to Master straight away. But Master, in his infinite wisdom, already had a plan in place for such a contingency. And for this scheme to work, Master needed the scepter, the same scepter Pariah had secretly used to summon and control his legions.

These spectral armies would soon be under new management.

Daniel plucked the Scepter of Sorrow from its hiding place in a dark corner of Pariah's throne room, and left as silently as he had arrived.

_Castle Aragorn_

Danny shook Dora's hand firmly as she handed him an elaborately carved bugle, made from the horn of some long-dead beast.

"Use this wisely," Dora said as she pressed the weathered object into the boy's palm. "Blow on it when your darkest hour has arrived. When you do, we will come, as will all who side with you in this war. Every ghost who calls himself your ally will be drawn by the Horn of Heaven's call. But take heed, Danny Phantom," she warned. "We place great trust in you by bestowing the Horn upon you. After its duty is done, you must return it to us."

_**Statler: 'Horn of Heaven'? Hardly!**_

_**Waldorf: I would've thought a ghostly item would be from the other end of the religious spectrum!**_

"I will," Danny said firmly. "I promise to bring it back, once Vlad is defeated."

In his lair, the aforementioned villain laughed to himself as he watched the proceedings via a one-way portal into the Ghost Zone. Through this, he could observe what was happening there, but couldn't access the Zone directly. The proto-portal was good for surveillance and spying, but not much else.

Vlad smiled as his laughter turned to quiet chuckling. "Oh, I wouldn't be too sure of _that_…"

A/N: I'm back! ^^ Hope you guys enjoyed this installment, 'cause things are gonna heat up before long! What will happen when Vlad has an army of his own? Will Danny defeat his evil alter-ego? You will know the answers to these questions and more in the next few chapters!

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	26. Chapter 26

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 25: Allies Gather! Beginning of the End!

Vlad Plasmius hefted the Scepter of Sorrow, deftly twirling it like a marching baton as Daniel presented it to him. Plasmius bared his pointed teeth in a grin.

"You have done well, Daniel. This pleases me greatly."

_**Statler: Wow, I didn't know Plasmius swung that way!**_

_**Waldorf: Anyone who calls a guy 'little badger' had GOT to be a homo!**_

Daniel kept his tone humble. "You honor me, Master."

"Danny Phantom doesn't have a prayer, wouldn't you say?" Vlad asked rhetorically as he turned around, his cape swirling a she did so.

Vlad's moment was ruined, however, when he felt a sharp pain between his shoulder blades. His eyes widened in horror as he realized what was going on.

Daniel clapped a hand over Plasmius's mouth as he drove the concealed knife deeper into his body, his tone a sibilant, malevolent hiss. "Did you think I'd let you control me? Did you actually believe I would serve you so blindly?_ It was all an act, fool! _I am destined for greater things than being your errand boy! You taught me too well, _Father,"_ he snarled as he plucked the Scepter from Vlad's limp grasp.

_**Waldorf: OH, SNAP! The evil villain just pwned the OTHER evil villain!**_

_**Statler: Looks like the apple didn't fall far from the tree! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!**_

The bone-jarring sound of Plasmius' neck breaking echoed through the mountain halls…

_The Realm of the Far Frozen, The Ghost Zone_

"…Of course we will stand and fight for you, O Great One!" Frostbite roared jovially. "It is the least we could do! Please, don't hesitate to summon us with that horn thing of yours when you need us!"

_**Statler: Aiiieee! YETI!**_

_**Quill: That's a ghost, dumbass.**_

_**Statler: I knew that…**_

Danny smiled as his friends shivered in the cold. "Great! Thanks, dude. I knew I could count on you!"

_**Waldorf: Well, that makes one of us!**_

"It is nothing," Frostbite said. "We owe it to you after you saved our sacred Infi-Map."

"Then I guess we'll be going," Chad said gratefully. All this cold didn't agree with him. "Has anyone seen the Captain?"

"Right here, lad," the aforementioned ghost said as he phased into visibility.

"You've got to stop running off like that!" Sam scolded. "We need you to fight Vlad, and that won't happen if you're off getting drunk somewhere!"

The Captain looked genuinely injured. "I warn't gittin' hammered, lass! Nay, I was jest a-roundin' up a few hearties o' mine who're itchin' fer a good scrap. Over here, boys!" the ghost called.

As if by magic, the denizens of the Far Frozen found themselves intermingling with hundreds of spectral buccaneers, many of them in various states of drunkenness.

_**Statler: NOW things are getting interesting! Ghost pirates? NICE!**_

_**Waldorf: Think they need volunteers? I was in the Navy, after all.**_

_**Statler: Yeah, as a cabin boy! HAHHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"THESE are those 'friends' of yours?" Dani asked, appalled.

"Aye," the Captain replied. "Rip-roarin' fighters, every man jack of 'em! Whaddaya think, Danny?"

"Uh…they can be trusted, right?"

_**Waldorf: WRONG!**_

"I dunno, I'll ask 'em. Ahoy, lads! Can ye be trusted to fight on our side?"

Over a hundred coarse voices roared back. "AYE, CAP'N! AYE!"

_**Waldorf: Dammit…**_

Chad was visibly put off. "Do we HAVE to fight alongside these…ruffians?"

_**Statler: Takes one to know one, kid!**_

"We can't be too choosy," Danny said. "We need all the fighters we can get."

"Fine…"

"We'll be going now," Dani said, flashing the Horn of Heaven's polished surface at the Captain. "When we need you, we'll call."

_**Waldorf: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! AHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"We'll be waitin', lass!" The pirate roared back as he turned to Frostbite. "Hey, Popsicle, ye got any rum hereabouts? It takes the edge off the cold, doncha know."

Frostbite slapped his forehead and groaned.

_Roswell, New Mexico, 8:35 P.M._

Danny and his friends burst from the Ghost Portal into the charnel house that was once Area 51. The decaying corpses of its personal still lay where they had been gunned down by his evil counterpart, and the stench made even the strongest stomach rebel. The walls were crumbling, and the roof had partially caved in, a testament to Daniel's explosive entrance.

_**Waldorf: Sounds like my place after that rave last night!**_

_**Statler: YOU BASTARD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAD A RAVE WITHOUT ME!**_

Dani sobbed, burying her face in Chad's shoulder as he tried to comfort her. Danny, Sam and Tucker merely stood in stony silence.

When he spoke, Danny's voice was hard. "Let's get out of here."

"We're right behind you," Sam replied.

The four friends exited the base as quickly as possible, but their progress was impeded by rubble and strewn bodies. The going was tough, but eventually the exit loomed in sight, gracing them all with a breath of fresh air.

When Danny saw what was waiting for him, however, he wished he'd stayed in the Ghost Zone.

Daniel Phantom, scepter in hand, floated a few inches above the ground, and behind him, illuminated with a sickly glow, were literally _thousands_ of skeleton soldiers, dressed in everything from Viking furs to Roman armor. They seemed to be as numerous as the leaves on the trees! Everywhere, as far as Danny could see, the sky was lit up with the ghostly light. The horde seemed to go on forever.

_**Statler: HERE WE GO! ALL RIGHT!**_

_**Waldorf: EPIC BATTLE TIME!**_

Sam glanced at him nervously as Tucker verged on a nervous breakdown. "I think now would be a good time to send out an SOS, if you get my meaning…"

Danny nodded as he brought the precious artifact to his lips, and the Horn of Heaven's brass tones filled the cool night air…

A/N: EPIC BATTLE! YAAAAY! But really, it's not like we ALL didn't see this coming! Won't say any more here, 'cause I like to leave y'all wanting more!

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	27. Chapter 27

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 26: Epic Battle!

Almost as soon as Danny picked up the Horn, three ghost portals opened behind him. Through the first came the Captain at the head of a thousand ghostly pirates, brandishing cutlasses, pistols and daggers and screaming war cries. Through the second came five thousand of the armor-clad Aragon Knights, led by their Queen upon her spectral steed. And through the third portal came Frostbite and _ten thousand_ warriors of the Far Frozen, wielding weapons forged of diamond-hard crystal. Queen Dora tossed Danny a sword as she brought her horse to a brief stop.

"To arms, Danny! Glorious battle awaits us!"

The hero passed out blades to his friends as he asked, "Didn't you bring any Ecto-weapons?"

"Nay, lad," The Captain replied, taking a swig of rum before smashing the bottle on the ground. "Where be the fun in that?"

"Then I guess we do this the old-fashioned way," Chad growled as he twirled his axe experimentally.

Dani stared. "Can you use that?"

"Are you kidding? I've been training with medieval weapons ever since I could walk."

"Enough chit-chat," Danny snarled. "Time to end it."

"I concur, Danny!" The Queen replied. "Soldiers, CHARGE!"

"FOR'ARD, LADS!" roared the Captain. "ON TO BATTLE!"

"FIGHT FOR THE GREAT ONE!" howled Frostbite as he and his warriors charged past.

Daniel watched the charging army with bored disdain. He turned to one of his skeletal soldiers. "I have no need for prisoners. Kill them all."

The minion in question let out a bone-chilling screech, and the horde surged forward like a green tidal wave to meet Danny's charge head-on.

The two opposing forces closed the distance rapidly, but time seemed to stand still just before the armies clashed.

Frostbite wielded his icy blade with reckless abandon, and Daniel's minions were scattered like ninepins, cleaved clean in half by the massive sword. The snow-creatures of the Far Frozen, many clad in crystalline armor, sent pieces of skeleton flying this way and that as they crashed into the horde's left flank. Sounds of gunshots and the acrid smell of gunpowder filled the air as the front four ranks of the enemy fell, signaling the arrival of the Captain's men into the fight. The pirates threw themselves upon their enemies, often laughing and calling out wagers on who could rack up the biggest body count. Pistol shots began to go off suddenly and without warning as the spectral buccaneers used their firearms to deadly effect; the enemy had no such weapons in their arsenal, and that gave Danny's side a crucial advantage. The Captain, laughing drunkenly and wielding a sword in each hand, decapitated a skeleton and stabbed another without missing a beat, his blades reaping a harvest of death as the pirates fought with complete disregard to safety, often taking on two or three opponents at once. Queen Dora and her legions were giving a good account of themselves; of the three allies, they were the most heavily armored, and many wielded swords that shone with ghostly flame. The Regent of Aragon trampled minions under the hooves of her ghostly horse, her blade slicing heads off shoulders as she cut a swathe through the horde's ranks, the highly-trained knights close behind.

_**Statler: *Awed silence***_

_**Waldorf: I take back everything bad I said about you, Quill!**_

A skeleton thrust a spear into the belly of Queen Dora's steed, spraying green ichor everywhere and throwing her to the ground. He was about to finish the Queen off when the minion glanced downward, puzzled, at the sword which had suddenly grown from his chest.

Danny pushed the body to one side as he helped his friend back on her feet. Dora's tone was grateful as she regained her footing. "Thank you, Danny," she said as another skeleton met his end at the point of her sword. "You are a most formidable warrior."

_**Waldorf: Yeah, but you're hardly a damsel in distress, sister!**_

Danny parried a thrust to the stomach and ran his foe through. "It's nothing. What are friends for?"

Chad, a few feet away, blocked a downward swing and knocked the axe from the skeleton's hand before slicing him in two. "Less talking, more slaying!" he shouted as he avoided a decapitating slash and repaid his foe in kind.

_**Statler: YEAH! MORE, MORE, MORE!**_

Dani, next to him, rolled to avoid a spear-point and Ecto-blasted the minion to dust. She picked up the fallen warrior's short sword and threw herself back into the fray, alternately slicing and blasting her foes to death. Chad threw a hatchet with laser-like precision, and another evildoer was sent back to the netherworld. A ghostly soldier was about to stab Sam in the back, but Tucker's axe made short work of him. Danny's girlfriend wielded her mace with disturbing efficiency, breaking blades, shields, and bones without a thought of mercy.

_**Waldorf: YEAH! LET'S SEE SOME ACTION!**_

_**Statler: Best fight scene EVER!**_

A ghost pirate slew his foe with a great thrust to the belly, but he himself was killed as a skeleton stabbed him with a spear. Three of Dora's knights found themselves attacked on all sides and were cut to pieces, even as they battled valiantly on. Ectoplasm and blood, flowing freely, began to make the sand underfoot slippery as the battle raged on.

_**Statler: Holy crap!**_

The Captain vaporized three skeletons with a massive blast from his blunderbuss, and used the butt of the firearm to bash another's head in. A warrior of the Far Frozen found himself beset by enemies, but the pirate and three of his comrades dispatched them as their attention was demanded elsewhere.

_**Waldorf: Talk about popping a cap in his ass! **_

_**Statler: That blunder-thingy's like a hand-held cannon!**_

Frostbite's fighting style had all the refinement of a wrecking ball, and one couldn't help but notice that his effect on the horde brought to mind the instrument in question. He surged against the skeletal tide, an immovable, furry giant, and dozens of minions were laid low with a single swipe of his monstrous blade. Queen Dora fought with the fluidity of water, wielding a narrow-bladed sword in each hand as foe after foe fell before her. She ducked an axe and ran its owner through before neatly decapitating another with a scissor-like motion. Sam and Tucker proved their mettle as well; the geek in question sliced through a shield as though it were made of rice paper, cleaving his foe in half before rounding on another. Sam bashed a skeleton's head in with a sickening _squelch_, green gore spraying her cheeks as she broke a sword blade in half and stabbed its owner with the ruined weapon.

_**Statler: DAMN, THAT IS HOT!**_

_**Waldorf: Too bad she's taken…**_

It was truly a battle of the ages: sword clanged against axe, rapier rasped against dagger, and shields clanged against each other as the two armies gave as good as they got. There was no quarter given; ally and enemy alike died that night in the New Mexican desert.

Frostbite, now looking worse for wear, fought his way over to Danny and flinched as an arrow pierced his shoulder. The leader of the Far Frozen pulled the shaft out and snapped it contemptuously as he spoke to his friend. "Your clone controls his army with the scepter he carries!" Frostbite said as he reduced a skeleton to dust. "I recognize that object; it is the same weapon the Ghost King wielded when he held sway! You must defeat Daniel and destroy it if we are to have any hope of victory! Otherwise, we will eventually be overwhelmed! Go! We will hold them off!"

"What about you guys?" Danny asked.

"I've already died once, lad," the Captain said. "Dyin' agin shouldn' be any different!"

_**Waldorf: True…**_

Danny looked at Frostbite. "If things go south, promise me you'll get my friends out of here."

"You have my word," the snow ghost said solemnly. "Now go!"

"Right," Danny said, his blade sending another foe to his doom.

As he fought his way toward the villain, Frostbite realized the need for a distraction. He whirled his sword above his head, roaring, "To me, Far Frozen! Regroup!"

"Push forward!" shouted Queen Dora, rallying the troops as she led the charge. "Fight to the last man!"

"C'MON, LADS!" the Captain yelled in his throaty tones. "LET'S GIVE 'EM SOMETHIN' T'REMEMBER US BY!"

_**Statler: OH, **__**YEAH**__** BABY!**_

_**Waldorf: Now we're gonna see some ass-kicking!**_

A great cry arose from the allies, and the tide of battle began to turn as the coalition renewed its offensive. Aragon's noble warriors fought side by side with the Captain's men as Frostbite's warriors charged ahead, dealing death and destruction six kills at a time. A fresh volley of lead slammed home into the enemy ranks as the pirates fired shot after shot into the horde's midst. The Captain, wounded in over a dozen places and still going strong, wiped a skeleton from the Earth with a look of absolute enjoyment upon his face. The old sailor pulled a pistol from his belt, blasting a minion to dust and using the firearm's iron-clad butt to bash another soldier's head to smithereens. Skeletons literally flew through the air as Frostbite himself rejoined the fray, creating a veritable slaughterhouse with each swing of his giant sword. Queen Dora and her warriors formed a phalanx of spears and pikes as they surged forward, and skeletons were pinned upon the blades like shish kabobs as the knights fought in formation with deadly effect. Sam sent a skeleton's brain splattering across the sand as Tucker decapitated two more with a single swing. Chad parried three blades at once, straining with effort until Dani blasted the ghostly minions to dust. The fight went on, and losses were heavy on both sides as the ground became cluttered with bodies.

_**Waldorf: Wow. Just…**__**wow.**_

What the skeletons lacked in skill, they made up for in numbers.

A knight met his end at the point of a sword, and the Captain grimaced as two of his hearties were slain by spear thrusts. One of Frostbite's warriors went down under the weight of the skeletons clinging to his back, and his last cry was cut short as his body was hacked to bits.

_**Statler: That's gonna leave a mark!**_

Danny, meanwhile, had pushed his scarred and tired body to the limit, fighting his way to the rear of the horde's right flank, where he could see that bastard Daniel hovering impassively, watching the battle with malice in his eyes. The hero cut down two more, and emerged from the fighting battered and bleeding, but held his sword steady as he bellowed his challenge, his palms glowing with ectoplasmic energy.

"You son of a bitch! Stand and fight!"

_**Waldorf: Witty banter is standard for **__**any **__**superhero story!**_

Daniel glanced at him, and his feet touched the ground as the rogue's eyes narrowed. "You think you can beat me?" he asked, snorting. "I am a thousand times more powerful than you will ever be! You can't win, even if we battled for a hundred years! You saw what I did in Washington; that was just the tip of the iceberg! I could kill you with a thought!"

"Then why don't you?" Danny snarled.

Daniel laughed and scavenged a sword from a fallen soldier. "Because I'm having too much FUN!" he yelled as he lunged with a sword in one hand and a scepter in the other.

_**Statler: Ooh, that's COLD…**_

_KRANG!_

Danny's blade and Daniel's clashed, their faces inches from each other as they snarled insults.

"Sadistic coward!"

"Foolish weakling!"

_CLANG!_

"You can't defeat me!"

"I can, and I will!"

_CLASH!_

Again their blades met, and again neither combatant drew blood. Danny dodged a chop to the head and tried one of his own, but Daniel merely turned sideways and the blade cut only air. He tried a low swing at Danny's legs, only to find his sword locked once again, hilt-to-hilt, with Danny. A growl of frustration escaped his throat as the battle around them continued.

_**Waldorf: Can this get any better?**_

Again and again their swords met, each halfa seeking an opening, parrying, thrusting, and dodging as their blades made musical accompaniment to the dance of death. Daniel's blade slashed across Danny's leg, and greenish-red blood soaked his uniform as the hero gasped in pain. Danny recovered quickly, though, and laid a shallow but long cut across Daniel's rib cage as the villain howled.

_**Statler: GORE FEST!**_

As he regained his footing, Danny began to see a red glow coming from Daniel's wound, emanating from where the villainous clone's heart should be. His ghost side immediately began to pick up the unique energy of Ectoranium, but somehow it was…_wrong._ Instead of draining his powers, they seemed to amplify Danny's abilities, healing some of his minor wounds as he homed in on it. The conclusion hit him like a thunderbolt as he parried yet another blow.

_Vlad must have found some way to alter the Ectoranium's molecular structure! Mom and Dad theorized about and even tried it after the Disasteroid crisis, but they couldn't get it to work; apparently he succeeded where they failed. That must be what gives Daniel his enormous power! It increases his abilities! If I can remove the shard from his body, I can end this!_

_**Waldorf: Oh, NOW the clone's in trouble!**_

_**Statler: The secret's out!**_

Renewed determination filled Danny's body, and he attacked his foe with fresh energy.

Preoccupied as they were, no one noticed the news chopper circling overhead. Inside, the indomitable Lance Thunder was broadcasting live to millions of viewers.

"I'm here in Roswell, New Mexico, where my crew and I have stumbled upon what appears to be a pitched battle being fought out here in the desert. If you'll look to your left, you can clearly see _two_ Danny Phantoms battling it out just below me. Who should the people of the world cheer for? Should we be cheering for a winner at all? And which one is the _real_ Danny Phantom?"

_**Statler: Don't ask me, I didn't bring my glasses.**_

The broadcast was lost upon Danny, who felt a surge of triumph as he broke Daniel's sword in two with one fell swing. Daniel looked down at the ruined weapon, stunned, but his disbelief distracted him only for a second.

That was all Danny needed.

Summoning up his last reserves of strength as blackness crept in the corners of his vision, Danny thrust his hand into Daniel's torso with a squelching sound, removing his blood-stained fingers swiftly as his foe screamed.

_**Waldorf: OWNED, BITCH!**_

_**Statler: YEAH, YEAH, **__**YEAH**__**! AHAHAHAHA!**_

In his palm Danny clutched the crystal that had functioned as Daniel's heart.

The evil clone looked at the fist-sized hole in his torso with utter disbelief. "It's…not…possible…" he gasped. "I was more…powerful…than you…"

Daniel's eyes rolled back in his head as his lifeless body disintegrated. At the same time, every skeletal minion on the battlefield spontaneously turned to dust.

Danny grinned crookedly. _We did it, _he thought joyfully. _It's over…_

Then all coherent thought was lost as the merciful darkness of unconsciousness claimed him.

_**Statler: I LOVED IT!**_

_**Waldorf: Me, too!**_

_**Statler: Bravo! Encore!**_

_**Waldorf: Do it again!**_

A/N: And here you have it, the next-to-last chapter of _The New Adventures of Danny Phantom._ I promised you an epic fight, didn't I? XD I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed typing it, and don't forget to tune in next time for the conclusion! ^^

Your humble servant,

-Quill N. Inque


	28. Chapter 28

The New Adventures of Danny Phantom

A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque

I do not own Danny Phantom.

Chapter 27: A New Beginning

Pain was the first thing Danny Fenton awakened to. Every part of his body was sore; he hurt in places he didn't know he had. His body was a mass of bruises and bandages, and as Danny groggily opened his eyes, he found himself being attended by a ministering angel.

Or, to put it more accurately, Sam was bandaging some of his wounds.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," she grinned. "Glad you could join us."

"How long was I out?" Danny muttered, still half-asleep.

"About three days," Tucker replied, tossing a newspaper at him. "You made the news."

"But Daniel framed me!" Danny couldn't conceal his outrage. "Can't they see that?"

"Relax," Chad said soothingly. "We told them everything. Your name's been cleared."

The relief was evident in Danny's voice. "That's a relief. What about Vlad?"

"Murdered," Dani said flatly. "We think the clone killed him."

"It sounds like the kind of thing he'd do," Danny admitted. "Well, at least he's out of our hair. All the better for us, I say!"

"Frostbite and Queen Dora have returned to the Ghost Zone," Tucker continued. "The Captain opted to stay with us a while."

"Aye!" the aforementioned pirate said exuberantly. "This here human world be full of high-falutin' gadgets and geegaws, an' the best booze, too! Methinks I'll be stickin' 'round here fer a while, yet."

Danny grinned. "We'd be happy to have you."

"Yeah!" Jack Fenton exclaimed from his position by the door. "Any friend of Danny's is a friend of mine!"

"We're so proud of you, sweetie," Maddie said, sniffling. "You're a true hero."

Danny blushed, but then turned an even darker shade of crimson as he caught the look in Sam's eye. "Um, can you guys give us a moment?"

Jack grinned, and Tucker barely concealed his laughter, but Danny's friends respectfully cleared out to give them some privacy. As soon as the door shut, Danny sat up painfully.

"I'm glad you're safe," Danny said with an ocean depth's worth of feeling. "You're my whole world, Sam."

Sam cupped his cheek tenderly. "And you are mine," she said, just before Danny's lips locked with hers.

_Casper High, the following morning…_

The newly vindicated Danny Phantom touched down in plain sight in front of the school, his backpack dragging at his still-sore shoulders. Today, a return to semi-normalcy was called for; today, Danny returned to class.

The hero groaned as he shifted his schoolbooks under his arm. _I've got a hell of a lot of make-up work to do…I'm gonna be swamped._

His thoughts were interrupted as Paulina's voice echoed through the schoolyard like a knell of doom.

"IT'S DANNY!"

The ghost boy in question paled as he saw the mob of crazed fans charging toward him. "Oh, _crap_!"

And then there were no more words, as Danny Fenton had to save his breath for running.

_**Statler: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Some things never change! But at least this story's FINALLY over!**_

_**Waldorf: Heeheehee! C'mon, let's get out of here before Quill renews our contract!**_

A/N: Well, there you have it! The final conclusion to this epic saga! I just want to say that it has been an absolute PLEASURE writing for you all! I know not when I'll return to the wonderful land of Fanfiction, but when I do, I hope y'all will be there!

I am Quill N. Inque,

And I'll see you along the way.


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